patrick.net

Delivery services for oxycontin, cocaine, THC oils, marijuana and Napa Valley Wines. These OldFuck menaces, using the public dime for their heedless pleasures while social isolating, HAVE GOT TO GO!

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/imperial-college-scientist-who-predicted-500k-coronavirus-deaths-in-uk-revises-to-20k-or-less

Imperial College scientist who predicted 500K coronavirus deaths in UK revises to 20K or fewer

February 24, 2020

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi toured San Francisco's Chinatown Monday to send a message. She said there's no reason tourists or locals should be staying away from the area because of coronavirus concerns.
"That’s what we’re trying to do today is to say everything is fine here," Pelosi said. "Come because precautions have been taken. The city is on top of the situation."

It's official: USA are #1!
The good new is the testing issue is solved.

Sure, if you believe China's number of confirmed cases resembles reality, or ignore the fact that the US is about 5 times the population of Italy.

TEOTWAWKI says

February 24, 2020

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi toured San Francisco's Chinatown Monday to send a message. She said there's no reason tourists or locals should be staying away from the area because of coronavirus concerns.
"That’s what we’re trying to do today is to say everything is fine here," Pelosi said. "Come because precautions have been taken. The city is on top of the situation."

Yup, that's an actual quote:

https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/nancy-pelosi-visits-san-franciscos-chinatown/2240247/

Pelosi is a whore.

And apparently a cheap whore. How much could Chinatown possibly have paid her for that?

Pelosi is out of her mind.

I was up there last week and it was deserted,

If the stores and restaurants are all closed why would anyone go there?

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/papua-new-guinea-entire-cannibal-tribe-catches-coronavirus-after-eating-infected-chinese-prospector/

PAPUA NEW GUINEA: ENTIRE CANNIBAL TRIBE CATCHES CORONAVIRUS AFTER EATING INFECTED CHINESE PROSPECTOR



A total of 14 members of the Korowai tribe have died and 87 others have tested positive to the Covid-19 virus over the last two weeks, over a population of 118.

After several days of thorough investigation, the governmental authorities believe they may finally have found the reason for the mysterious contamination of this extremely isolated tribe.

Several members of the tribe said they became sick after eating the “yellow evil spirit”.

According to Lt. James Manning of the Royal Papua New Guinea Constabulary, the country’s national police, this could explain the disappearance of 57-year old Chinese engineer Wu Jing in the region at the end of February.

clambo says

Pelosi is out of her mind.

I was up there last week and it was deserted,

If the stores and restaurants are all closed why would anyone go there?

Pelosi has dimentia

https://www.unz.com/chopkins/the-war-on-death/

OK, I’ve got some good news and I’ve got some some bad news. The good news is mainly for authoritarians who missed all the fun during the War on Terror. The news is … welcome to the War on Death!

Yes, that’s right, global capitalism (a/k/a “the world”) is now at war with Death … which is great news for authoritarians! No more bothersome critical thinking. The time for questioning our leaders is over. It’s time to shut up and follow orders. We’re in a global state of emergency, folks! We’re talking lockdowns, soldiers in the streets, abrogation of our constitutional rights, arbitrary arrests, indefinite detentions, round-the-clock media fear-propaganda … the whole totalitarian megillah!

What, you’re probably asking, is the War on Death? Well … for those who remember the War on Terror, the War on Death is just like that, except this time the evil enemy is Death … or, all right, maybe not exactly like that, but there are a number of striking similarities.

Huh, Wuhan virus eliminates both air pollution and crime!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/coronavirus-new-york-city-crime/2020/03/26/6a408e94-6f9a-11ea-a3ec-70d7479d83f0_story.html

https://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-health-coronavirus-britain-antibody/cheap-antibody-test-sent-for-validation-in-coronavirus-fight-idUKKBN21D1W9

LONDON (Reuters) - A British company behind a 10-minute coronavirus antibody test, which will cost about a $1, has begun sending prototypes to laboratories for validation, which could be a game-changer in the fight against the pandemic.

Looks like Australians beat them:

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-26/coronavirus-covid-19-testing-finger-prick-expanded-criteria/12089608

And now the Dutch:

http://biozek.com/corona-virus-covid-rapid-test/

Booger says

PAPUA NEW GUINEA: ENTIRE CANNIBAL TRIBE CATCHES CORONAVIRUS AFTER EATING INFECTED CHINESE PROSPECTOR

LOL! From the same site that gives you such headlines as "MAN HOSPITALIZED AFTER DRINKING 16 GALLONS OF HAND SANITIZER TO PROTECT HIMSELF FROM CORONAVIRUS"

and "MAN ARRESTED AT THE FRANCE-GERMANY BORDER FOR SMUGGLING 2,500 SURGICAL MASKS IN HIS RECTAL CAVITY"

Probably more reliable than CNN.

It was CNN

Good point.

https://medium.com/wintoncentre/how-much-normal-risk-does-covid-represent-4539118e1196

It’s important to note that all the risks quoted are the average (mean) risks for people of the relevant age, but are not the risks of the average person! This is because, both for COVID and in normal circumstances, much of the risk is held by people whom are already chronically ill. So for the large majority of healthy people, their risks of either dying from COVID, or dying of something else, are much lower than those quoted here. Although of course for every death there will be others who are seriously ill.

Also, as Triggle points out, there will be substantial overlap in these two groups — many people who die of COVID would have died anyway within a short period — and so these risks cannot be simply added, and it does not simply double the risk of people who get infected. It is crucially important that the NHS is not overwhelmed, but if COVID deaths can be kept in the order of say 20,000 by stringent suppression measures, as is now being suggested, there may end up being a minimal impact on overall mortality for 2020 (although background mortality could increase due to pressures on the health services and the side-effects of isolation). Although, as we are seeing, at vast cost.

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/condom-shortage-looms-coronavirus-lockdown-114905514.html

Condom shortage looms after coronavirus lockdown shuts world's top producer

zzyzzx says

Voted funniest meme by me so far for 2020.

Fuck I can't stop laughing

https://babylonbee.com/news/covid-19-impacting-men-women-more-than-all-other-genders-combined

BALTIMORE, MD—A new study by Johns Hopkins University found that the novel coronavirus is impacting men and women more than all the other genders combined.

According to the study, 100% of coronavirus cases have affected men and women and not a single other gender.

"It's incredible - we've found this virus is far more likely to affect biological males and biological females than any other biological gender," said Head of Gender Research Dr. Benji Charmin. "We thought the data had to be flawed, but we checked again and again, and sure enough, this thing is aggressively going after men and women and ignoring the other genders entirely."

He shrugged. "It's just science."

Progressives quickly applauded the virus for not attacking any of the other genders and only focusing on traditional, outdated, binary genders.

Patrick says

Progressives quickly applauded the virus for not attacking any of the other genders and only focusing on traditional, outdated, binary genders.

"Attaboy! Who's the good virus?"

Diarrhea kills 1.8 million a year.

ONE POINT EIGHT MILLION.

Where's my diarrhea check?