patrick.net

U.S. — In a desperate, last-ditch attempt to keep Donald Trump from winning the election, Democrats have announced they are switching out Kamala Harris for a wheel of cheese with a sign reading "Not Trump."

Party officials reportedly held emergency closed-door meetings following Harris's widely panned interview with Bret Baier of Fox News this week, instead opting to utilize a rarely used loophole in election laws to install a block of cheese as the party's candidate.

"We feel the cheese is far more likable and, honestly, more intelligent," said one high-ranking Democrat who asked to remain anonymous. "We tried to give it a go with Kamala, but we're getting down to crunch time here. We didn't have many options left, so we all reluctantly agreed that it was better to go with the wheel of cheese. If nothing else, the cheese doesn't have that incessant cackle."

Media pundits said the late switch might turn the race upside down. "The cheese makes a strong point," said MSNBC's Rachel Maddow. "It's very up-front with its position that it is not Donald Trump, which is the most important issue and something millions of Americans can get behind. We're used to supporting politicians who can't answer questions, so the fact that the wheel of cheese is an inanimate object isn't that much of a departure. I'll be voting for the wheel of cheese in November."

Kamala has reached angry, shrill Hillary status… #JOY

The owner of the Los Angeles Times has forbidden the paper’s editorial board from backing Kamala Harris in this year’s US presidential election, bucking two decades of Democratic endorsements, Semafor has reported.

The editorial board was preparing to endorse Harris for the presidency, until Executive Editor Terry Tang intervened earlier this month and ordered no endorsement be published, Semafor reported on Tuesday, citing two anonymous sources.

According to the sources, the order came directly from the paper’s owner, Patrick Soon-Shiong.

A South African-born medical doctor and billionaire entrepreneur, Soon-Shiong bought the ailing LA Times in 2018. While he managed to reverse decades of losses and headcount reductions, the newspaper’s advertising revenue plummeted during the Covid-19 pandemic, and more than 100 employees were sacked earlier this year.

Soon-Shiong’s decision to block the endorsement of Harris will be seen as a major blow to the vice president, as the LA Times is the most prominent newspaper in her home state of California.

Ohhhhhhh, that one is nasty. Hahahahaha

The Washington Post will not be endorsing Kamala Harris. For the first time in forty years, the paper will not endorse anyone.

Yeah coke users are pretty obvious. That's a coke user. Not even a question.