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Weinstein proposed that captured corporate media’s only job is to publish orthodoxy. In other words, stories like “Republican Liz Cheney endorses Harris” aren’t actually meant to convince anybody that there is some rising groundswell of Republican opposition to Trump. Rather, corporate media is signaling to the orthodox establishment’s members what is permissible for them to think and say.

People whose careers depend on established institutional structures implicitly understand this. If, like Weinstein, someone decides to challenge or break with the approved narrative, they risk losing their careers and reputations. Questioning the narrative means losing invitations, opportunities, promotions, and killing your career.

In this way, the corporate media serves as the day-to-day mechanism for rapidly disseminating ‘safe’ groupthink. The participants —especially those in government, academia, and international corporations— know that straying from media-established boundaries means risking scapegoat status and excommunication.

After all, Weinstein should know. That’s what happened to him.

Over time, corporate media has evolved from being a source of investigative journalism and watchdog reporting into a mechanical device for reinforcing consensus among elites.

Weinstein’s theory helps us understand how in 2023, Time could rail against ultraprocessed foods, but one year later in 2024, after the Trump-Kennedy alliance, can turn on a dime and publish silly headlines like “What if Ultra-Processed Foods Aren’t as Bad as You Think?”

It also explains why corporate media seems blithely unconcerned about its historically low levels of trust. There is a simple explanation. It doesn’t care about public trust, because its mission is to maintain cohesion among the elite class, not to provide honest, transparent information to the masses. Thus, publishing false or exaggerated stories that serve a particular political or corporate interest are useful for keeping the right people in alignment.

In other words, the general population’s trust is secondary or even irrelevant because the real power brokers —decision-makers in government, business, and academia— are still receiving and aligning with the messages the media sends. As long as the right people (those with influence and authority) continue to trust and engage with corporate media, the public can be safely ignored.

Even more dystopian, the erosion of media trust doesn’t even hurt its mission at all. If anything, it might even help maintain the status quo, by keeping the unwashed general public out of the conversation.

When we see media’s narrative spin machine working, like when it tells us ultraprocessed foods aren’t really that bad, or that Republican Liz Cheney is breaking with the party, or that America is systemically racist, we must not frame those narratives in terms of how horrible the media is, but rather understand that media is telling Democrats and captured elites how to think.

The best vaccine for these virus-like mind-control narratives is mockery. Every narrative has a simple anti-narrative waiting to be discovered. That’s why memes are effective, and it’s why the deep state coalition cannot tolerate free speech.

As everyone knows, the Associated Press is 100% trustworthy in every single quote they have ever covered. It truly seems like they are the only ones, apart from us at the Bee, who don't add any bias or spin to their stories.

To commemorate the AP's long and distinguished record of quoting people accurately, we at the Babylon Bee have put together 10 famous historical quotes as reported by the Associated Press:

"The only thing we have… is fear itself." — Franklin D. Roosevelt: What a downer!

"That's one small... man." — Neil Armstrong: Everyone looks small from the moon, Neil.

"You miss one hundred percent of the shots you... take." — Wayne Gretzky: Sometimes, the truth hurts.

"I am literally....... Hitler." — Donald Trump: Can't believe he just came out and said it.

"Ask not." — John F. Kennedy: Words the Kamala campaign lives by.

"I have a dream that one day... little boys will be... little girls." — Martin Luther King Jr.: Oh dear.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that men are... endowed... well." — Declaration of Independence: A strange beginning to the American Revolution.

"Give me death!" — Patrick Henry: Not a smart request.

"December... will live in infamy" — Franklin D. Roosevelt: Gee, someone hates Christmas.

"I did... that woman." — Bill Clinton: Okay, the AP might have gotten this one right.

Thanks for all your great work, AP!

During a segment criticising Trump supporting journalist Laura Loomer, CNN hit a new low by using a completely fake image of the former president that had been photoshopped to make him look grossly obese.

The ridiculous image was displayed by host Anderson Cooper on Friday during the segment. ...

There’s no way this is a ‘mistake’.

CNN knew the image was doctored and used it regardless.