CONSPIRACY THEORISTS DEBUNKED. A DEDICATED COVID QUARANTINE FACILITY (NOT A CONCENTRATION CAMP AS CLAIMED BY SOME) WILL BE BUILT AT WELLCAMP AIRPORT NEAR TOOWOOMBA, AUSTRALIA. AS WE CONTEND WITH THE DANGEROUS DELTA VARIANT, WE NEED FIT-FOR-PURPOSE QUARANTINE FACILITIES.
KABUL AIRPORT IN THEORETICAL PHYSICS, A DISSERTATION BY JOE BIDEN, PHD. IT IS AT THE SAME TIME EASY TO GET TO AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED DUE TO DANGER EN ROUTE, MAKING IT THE FIRST SCHROEDINGER AIRPORT IN THE WORLD.
MORGAN STANLEY ANALYST ADAM JONAS RAISES TESLA PRICE TARGET TO $10,000 AFTER AI DAY REVEAL OF 'TESLABOT'. SAYS TESLABOT WILL DO MUNDANE TASKS THAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO DO, LIKE ENGAGING IN SEXUAL ACTS WITH TESLA CULTISTS.
BIDEN ADMINISTRATION SAYS PRESIDENT IS NOT AWARE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING IN AFGHANISTAN AS HE HAS A SEVERE CASE OF DEMENTIA AND IS ENJOYING AN ICECREAM SUNDAE
IRAN PROTESTS AMERICA LEAVING AFGHANISTAN. "WE WANT TO DEFEAT THE NECONS ON THEIR OWN TERMS! SATANIST WEST WILL DIE, FUCKING DIE AND THEIR PINCER STATE WILL BE VANQUISHED!"
WHITE HOUSE SPOKESPERSON PSAKI SAYS THE MOSTLY PEACEFUL SUICIDE BOMBINGS IN KABUL WERE CAUSED BY GLOBAL WARMING