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Your idea of the ideal house?


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2021 Dec 17, 5:59am   4,411 views  52 comments

by zzyzzx   ➕follow (7)   💰tip   ignore  

Or maybe just the deal breakers?

Inspired by this thread:
https://patrick.net/post/1325185/2019-06-18-the-illinois-california-exodus

Where I mentioned low inventory and not liking most existing houses. Since we all have our preferences and pet peeves, and presumably a number of us are thinking about having something built.


So I'll start.

Deal breakers:
Not enough off street parking.
Lot too small.
House has had additions (IMO, that's never done right. I'm not talking about separate structures like a standalone garage / shed / pool etc. Those can be done right.)
OSB
No basement or crawlspace.

Things that I really hate, but can be rectified:
Vaulted ceilings. I want an attic.
Skylights (because they always leak).
Too many trees. Dealing with that at the GF's house. Constant maintenance item there because of this.
Flex ducting for HVAC.

Wants:
Walk in closet
Walk in pantry

Ideal house is on a 1/2 acre, has a basement (if in someplace like Florida, put in a crawlspace or just make the whole lower floor unfinished (and probably unconditioned) and make that a substitute for your garage / workshop / shed and run all the wiring and plumbing in the ceiling for easy maintenance, and put the water heater / HVAC / electrical panel, stuff there (normal basement stuff). Super insulated with a nice sized attic and a roof that slopes towards the sun to facilitate the installation of solar panels. I would also want some sort of roof access (I have that now and it's nice to be able to easily do all my rooftop maintenance). Probably 2000 sq ft minimum, but with the largish garage underneath it might not need to be that big.

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45   Automan Empire   2021 Dec 19, 11:51am  

The screen room around the pool (thought it was glass this whole time which makes sense in a cold climate) is not only good for mosquitoes if those are a local problem, but DUCKS. If they decide to chill in your pool for just a few, you'll be left with nasty DUCK SHIT making your pool unusable for days, if not provoke a Caddyshack level cleaning event.

My first job in high school was weekend janitor at a chain of preschools. One had a duck in a small fenced area, and I was occasionally tasked with dumping and rinsing the kiddie pool. DAMN that was a fetid sulfurous hell-stank collector! The boss proceeded to get mad at me because the water stank up the whole driveway as it ran deeper and deeper into the property. He didn't say to put the water anywhere else, and there was literally no other option unless his penny-pinching ass were to produce a trash pump and 100' of discharge hose. Still got all mad and flexed on me over it. I quit soon, having aged out of the role anyway. My brother also worked there for a stint, and we called that stanky creature The Fuck.
46   AmericanKulak   2021 Dec 19, 12:25pm  

The Screens keep out mosquitos, they legally count as a barrier against wandering kids, AND they keep the leaves out the pool.
47   Ceffer   2021 Dec 19, 12:27pm  

Satan loves the smell of fried skeeters and children in the morning on the electrified patios. They have potential for Globalist shrines.
48   WookieMan   2021 Dec 19, 12:30pm  

Automan Empire says
If they decide to chill in your pool for just a few, you'll be left with nasty DUCK SHIT making your pool unusable for days, if not provoke a Caddyshack level cleaning event.

If you chlorinate properly shit isn't an issue. Assume everyone pisses and sharts in your pool. My pool is crystal clear. If there are 5-10 young boys in your pool, they for sure are pissing in it. Adult women who are too lazy to go inside piss in your pool. The Caddy Shack scene was dramatized. There's generally as much chlorine in public water as there is in a pool and you drink that. So yeah, swimming in a properly chlorinated pool is no biggie even if there's a turd.
49   Tenpoundbass   2021 Dec 19, 12:39pm  

Automan Empire says
if those are a local problem, but DUCKS. If they decide to chill in your pool for just a few, you'll be left with nasty DUCK SHIT making your pool unusable for days


The Ducks and Pigeons seem to be disappearing from South Florida, I'm seeing less and less of them.
My guess they are ending up on the dinner plate of our diverse foreign imports, that don't see them as any different, than that fowl carcass in the styro crate, at the grocery store.
50   B.A.C.A.H.   2021 Dec 19, 3:18pm  

Tenpoundbass says
The Ducks and Pigeons seem to be disappearing from South Florida, I'm seeing less and less of them.


Do you think this may be related to the global insect-die-off?
51   BayArea   2021 Dec 19, 9:48pm  

If it’s less than $5M in the Bay Area, be ready to compromise.
52   Booger   2021 Dec 20, 3:59am  

Tenpoundbass says
Automan Empire says
if those are a local problem, but DUCKS. If they decide to chill in your pool for just a few, you'll be left with nasty DUCK SHIT making your pool unusable for days


The Ducks and Pigeons seem to be disappearing from South Florida, I'm seeing less and less of them.
My guess they are ending up on the dinner plate of our diverse foreign imports, that don't see them as any different, than that fowl carcass in the styro crate, at the grocery store.


Are they building houses like mad in that part of Florida?

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