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It's so sad watching my country decline not by years but by weeks and days.
Speaking of failing public officials, aging Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Ca.), was briefly hospitalized after taking a tumble in her San Francisco home, right before she was scheduled to give a speech about her memories of being a Senator during the French-American War. Okay, I made up that last part.
But don’t worry, she’s doing great! Supporters say she’ll be sprinting up the steps to the Senate building in no time.
Does anyone else suspect that one reason we are ten seconds away from war with every other world superpower is because the average age of our federal ruling class is 103? How can a Senator who falls down hold up the country — in wartime?
Well, I suppose on the positive side, if she fell down it means she must have been standing upright, at least for a minute. I guess that’s some kind of progress.
💉 The biggest news yesterday was the timely passing of Shingles survivor Dianne Feinstein, 90, who was also a tireless employment advocate for out-of-work Chinese espionage tradespersons. Ms. Feinstein was also a wonderful actress, twice nominated for a Daytime Emmy for her portrayal of an addled, deaf United States Senator in a charming period piece set in the 2023’s, filmed as a live-reality tragi-comedy, a masterful allegory sharply comparing Ms. Feinstein’s decrepit condition to the failing U.S. government as a whole.
But politics waits for no great-great-great grandmother. The jockeying for Feinstein’s senatorial replacement started even before her waterproof, reinforced Senate seat began to cool off. Under the rules, California Governor and stealth presidential candidate Gavin Newsom is allowed to appoint her replacement, and social media is even more aflame than usual with wild speculation.
The most popular possibilities include disgraced Representative Adam “Shifty” Schiff (D-Ca.), who has worn out his welcome on that his of Congress and has started shiftily sidling toward the Senate. A more creative theory involves Vice President Kamala “He Haw” Harris resigning to take Feinstein’s now-vacant Senate seat, Biden appointing Gavin Newsom as Kamala’s replacement as V.P., and then Biden stepping down to allow Newsom to become the Resident. Whereupon, if Newsom were certifiably insane, he could then re-appoint Harris as VP.
And Bob’s your uncle, all lefty problems solved!
That amazing possibility is coincidentally supported by Newsom’s 2021 vow to appoint a “black woman” to Feinstein’s seat. According to Reuter’s fact-checking department, He-Haw Harris is black:
Because, in today’s democrat party, melanin is the best indicator of qualification to run the country; it’s even better than actual qualifications.
Another dark horse candidate is supersized "body-positivity" model and rap artist Lizzo, who also appears to be in the running. Well, I guess it would be more accurate to say she’s in the walking. Slowly.
For their part, democrats are suggesting California’s woke (black) Representative for California's 13th congressional district, Barbara Lee, and former woke law professor and U.S. Representative for California's 45th congressional district, Katie Porter (white). We’ll see.
Whichever, Newsom finds himself under the proverbial gun to act fast, since the Senate’s majority hangs on a razor’s edge and could conceivably pass a hated Republican budget if Feinstein’s seat stays open for too long.
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_congressman