Lame spam thread

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2022 Jul 31, 9:11am   2,953 views  54 comments

by Patrick   ➕follow (55)   💰tip   ignore  

For the most ridiculous spam I get.

I am Jane Francis the White House Delivery Agent and I am writing to
inform you about your ATM Card brought by the United Embassy from the
United Nations here in the white house Washington DC The ATM Have Been
to be deliver to your address as soon as possible.
Please urgently contact me back on my email by clicking your Reply

(1)Full name......

(2)Mobile number.....

(3)Home address.....

Thanks Text Or Call Me Once You Read Off This Email.
(janefrancis618@hotmail.com )

Comments 1 - 40 of 54       Last »     Search these comments

1   Hircus   2022 Jul 31, 11:05am  

I bet they get a few old or semi-retarded people with that.
2   clambo   2022 Jul 31, 12:16pm  

I get spam texts.
"Hi how are you?"
I answered it's a case of mistaken identity.
Then more texts "Thank you for being understanding."
Then more texts and friendly stuff.
The person claims to be an Asian female.
I'm getting a bunch of them lately.
3   Onvacation   2022 Jul 31, 12:31pm  

clambo says

The person claims to be an Asian female.

4   Ceffer   2022 Jul 31, 1:22pm  

What about a thread for edifying, educational, inspirational and honest spam?
5   Ceffer   2022 Jul 31, 1:45pm  

You didn't include dangerous proliferating monotone spam bot AI, but here it is.
6   richwicks   2022 Jul 31, 1:47pm  

Ceffer says

You didn't include dangerous proliferating spam bot AI, but here it is.

You realize this has always been happening but now we can see it.

We're going to fuck them with an axe at the end. This bullshit won't be tolerated forever.

People are eventually going to get so sick and tired of being gaslit, they're going to kill these motherfuckers.
7   Patrick   2022 Jul 31, 4:00pm  

Dear beneficiary,

My name is Howard G. Buffett, the CEO and Chairman of the Howard G. Buffett Charitable Foundation. I believe strongly in ‘giving while living’ I had one idea that never changed in my mind — that you should use your wealth to help people and i have decided to secretly give {$105,000} to selected individuals worldwide, individuals who have made a great effect on the society by way of conduct. On receipt of this email, you should count yourself as lucky individual and therefore suitable to be a beneficiary.

Kindly get back to me via the donation co-ordinator via email below, so I know your email address is valid.Kind regards,

Contact: howardgfoundation@gmail.com

Kurt Edgar
Regional Coordinator
8   AmericanKulak   2022 Jul 31, 4:17pm  

Hahahahaha, Buffet using his money on anything but Globalist Crap. Like the "Howard" part. Heiress A. Buffet would have been better.
9   WookieMan   2022 Jul 31, 6:30pm  

Never respond "yes" if they ask is this "John Doe." Always. Always ask what they want. Never admit to your identity. Hard for those that have businesses, but it you don't, never, ever identify yourself unless you 100% KNOW the number. Just ask what the fuck do you want?

Also, if you're ever in a situation where you might be served for something, never admit your identity. Just say you're house sitting or something if you answer the door. Never say your name or yes. Get a go to alias name. "Are you John Tompkins? No I'm Bill Williams, just watching his house while he's away for awhile."

Both these tactic stop scammers, but also if you find yourself in a shitty spot with a spouse or the law (to an extent). Point is never identify yourself if it's not legally required or you get arrested.
10   Patrick   2022 Jul 31, 7:51pm  

From: mail@alphasistemasti.com.br
Reply-To: kristalinageorg07@gmail.com

Finance/Remittance Department Director
Int'l. Wire Transfer/Telex Department,
International Monetary Fund,(IMF).

ATTN Beneficiary,

I hope this email meets you in good state of mind. Quite frankly, after a serious thought, I have decided to personally reach you directly because I do not have anything against you, but your so called representatives working with you to realize the remittance of your payment. However, have you ever wondered why you have been going this vicious circle over the past years with respect to having your fund paid to you without any success. It is possible that you were informed that your payment was brought to me for finalization, neither were you informed that I am the person frustrating every move to get your fund remitted to your local bank account in your country, I can assure you that this yet another deceit on the part of your representative(s).

Well, like I said earlier to you, I have nothing against you or your payment but I’m only trying to protect my interest also. I do not want to mention names here, but am certain you are aware of whom I am referring to having not received your funds.

I am the Finance/Remittance Department Director, International Wire Transfer/Telex Department, International Monetary Fund (IMF) your funds conveyor. Sometime in the past a representative of yours approached me through a friend of mine who works with one of the Government Ministries here and requested that I assist him conclude a

money transfer deal having you as the beneficiary and we all agreed. According to him, he wanted to use this strategy to transfer a huge amount of US Dollars by presenting your name as Beneficiary Whose fund has not been paid.

Although we agreed that once i do that, he would give me 20% of the total fund and he will equally give me your contact information before I release the fund to your account. When he saw that I have programmed your fund for onward transfer and your name has been approved among the list of those to be paid as instead of him letting me have your contact information to enable me regulate the transfer of funds and confirm when it arrive your account to enable me send to you my private account details for my share of the 20% as was agreed previously, what he did was to start avoiding me and which thereafter, resorted to threats, because of that, I immediately deleted your payment initializing code (PIC) from the list of those to be paid, and this made it very IMPOSSIBLE for the transfer to be completed to your account.

However, your local representative became very angry when he discovere i was able to truncate his illicit and deceitful plots and it could not work out as he wrongly wished. What he did was to start looking for other means of trying to bribe other junior officers along with some other financial agencies to see how they could assist him secure approval to enable them transfer the money to you but all their efforts was to no avail. Is it not so funny my friend you as a beneficiary is being asked to pay several statutory fees over and over without your fund being transferred to you as well expected. Well, your fund is right here with us and am 100% responsible for the delay and obstructions of completing the transfer of funds to your account because of the breach of the gentleman agreement between me and your representative. If you doubt what I have just told you now, then go ahead and pay any amount he may oblige you pay and thereafter, he will subject you into another form of tax payment and it goes on and

(I). You must keep my information to you in this correspondence highly secret because i don't want to get involve with him, I will have 10% of the money if successfully transfers to your local bank account because it is only the two of us in connection to logical remittance of fund to you.

(ii). You MUST assure me you will not betray me at the end of a successfully transfer of funds to your Local Bank Account and my own share will be safe until when i direct you to lodged my part of fund into an account that i will forward to you.

(iii) As you have seen, it will be useless and mere waste of money if you continue with your local representative and i can assure you that with trust and confidence we will conclude the transaction with utmost secrecy and confidentiality if you wish to adhere to my directives and instructions. If these conditions are acceptable to you, contact me as soon as possible to let us finalize all the arrangement and conclude the remittance of the fund to you immediately without any other delay attached.

I will give you more important details once I hear from you based on if you promise to keep away from your local representative and handle this matter with utmost confidentiality because I want to transfer the money without the knowledge of any other official of the bank or even without the knowledge of your local representative.

May the peace of our Jesus Christ be upon you.

Faithfully Yours in Him.

Kristalina Georgieva.
Finance/Remittance Department Director,
International Monetary Funds, (IMF).
11   NDrLoR   2022 Jul 31, 9:19pm  

Patrick says

Faithfully Yours in Him.
Our pastor related today how when his family made the decision to buy a larger home in Hewitt, when everything was ready to be signed the next day along with the presentation of a cashier's check, that evening they received an e-mail from what to all appearances was the title company suggesting in the interest of time and ease of transfer, that they could use the enclosed link to wire the funds directly to the account of the company. Thankfully they ignored it and the next day were informed that this was an example of pfishing, that the money would have wound up in Nigeria or some other such wretched place.
12   Patrick   2022 Jul 31, 9:39pm  


So we can be pretty sure someone at the title company or a bank sold that info to the scammer who sent the email, or maybe planned to split the money with him.
13   Patrick   2022 Aug 1, 6:43pm  

Dear Valued Customer p,

Your Mailbox is Full , your Incoming message is considered as spam and blocked. To receive new messages, upgrade capacity otherwise you may not receive new messages.

Please take a few seconds to upgrade p@patrick.net to 20GB.

Lol, I run my own email server and am the sole administrator of it.
15   Patrick   2022 Aug 23, 10:50am  

Your Email Account has been disabled

This account p@patrick.net is now disabled. It looks like it was being used in a way that violated patrick.net policies.

We understand your account is important to you. So if you think this was a mistake, sign in to the disabled account to restore it. You'll need to do this soon, because disabled accounts are eventually deleted, along with your emails, contacts, and other data stored with patrick.net. Learn more about patrick.net policies.
and confirm p@patrick.net

You received this email to let you know about important changes to your patrick.net Account and services.
16   Al_Sharpton_for_President   2022 Aug 28, 2:19pm  


You have been compensated with the sum of $2.500,000.00 Million United State (Two Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars) by United Nation, from the Internet Fraud compensation programmed organized by the ECOWAS co-sponsored by UN and IMF. Your email address and other 49 email addresses were selected from the Internet Fraud complainant’s blogs for this compensation.

Your Compensation Ref No: ECOWAS/IMF/FQ7XX.

The compensation fund is from the total sum of 500 Million USD, realized so far from Internet fraudsters by the International Police (Interpol) and the ECOWAS/U Commission.

For Claims Contact following email address: ( gw522835@gmail.com ) And contact person is: Frank Robert,
Do not forget to quote your Compensation Ref. No: ECOWAS/IMF/FQ7XX and Your Full Name, so you can be directed on how to received your fund.


Frank Robert
Public Relation Officer
17   Patrick   2022 Aug 28, 4:07pm  

Only one congratulation?

They're so cheap the award is from only one United Nation too.
18   Patrick   2022 Aug 29, 8:41am  

Lol, I got an email from the "patrick.net HR department"!

19   Onvacation   2022 Aug 29, 4:38pm  

Patrick says

I got an email from the "patrick.net HR department"!

Are you going to get fired?
20   Patrick   2022 Aug 29, 4:43pm  

Lol, the patrick.net HR department is the only one I trust.
21   Onvacation   2022 Aug 29, 5:10pm  

I bet your wife runs it. A majority of HR personnel are women.
22   Patrick   2022 Aug 29, 5:22pm  

Or bitter gay men.
23   Patrick   2022 Aug 29, 5:23pm  

patrick.net remains a one person organization. At least there aren't any interpersonal politics.
24   Patrick   2022 Aug 29, 5:24pm  

Wife doesn't read the site, but does enjoy the memes each night by email.
25   mell   2022 Aug 29, 5:36pm  

Patrick says

Wife doesn't read the site, but does enjoy the memes each night by email.

Better that way, I don't want her to get the wrong impression ;)
27   mell   2022 Sep 28, 2:09pm  

My Dear Beloved Friend,

Greetings and thank you for your response. Please let this not sound strange to you because I am not asking you for money, for my only surviving lawyer who would have done this, died early this year. I prayed and got your email address from your country's guest book which I got from my late husband's archive and I wish to visit once more if God will in his infinite mercies grant me. In function of your good profile, I want to solicit your assistance in the discharge of my Will. I am Michelle Antoinette Marone, from London and am aged 68 years suffering from endometrial cancer. Please, I want you to help me create a charitable project with the money that I inherited from my deceased husband who died in a motor accident. I was brought up from a motherless baby's home and was married to my late husband for twenty nine years without a child.

My friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness and I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them anymore, so I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of 9,000,000.00 GBP (Nine Million Pounds) with my bank. All I need is an honest person who will use at least %60 of the funds as I would instruct, then the rest %40 will go to you for helping me accomplish this mission because donating this money to charity is the only legacy I can leave behind after my death. No money is required from you to carry on with this project because it is my heart desire to make a generous gift to you to work for a charity in your country. I don't mind if you are a Christian or Muslim or Hindu or Buddhist rather my only paramount concern here is whether I can trust you because this generation is filled up with greedy and fraudulent people all over the world. I will give you more details as soon as I hear from you.

Please contact me on the below emails: warthur7009@gmail.com

Looking forward to your urgent response.

Kind regards.

Mrs. Michelle A. Marone.
28   Al_Sharpton_for_President   2022 Oct 27, 2:03pm  

Damn! Who wants in on this?

I am Mr. Richard Wahl, The mega winner of $533M In Mega Millions
lottery Jackpot. I'm donating to 5 random Individuals, if you get this
email then your email was selected after a spin ball. I have spread
most of my wealth over a number of charities and organizations' have
voluntarily decided to donate the sum of $5Million USD to you as one
of the selected 5. To verify my winnings please see my YouTube.
page below.

WATCH ME HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tne02ExNDrw%3F

$533 Million Jackpot Winner Revealed: Modest Mega Millionaire Richard
Wahl Richard Wahl recently moved to New Jersey from Michigan and has
only played the lottery a few times before winning the $533 million
Mega Millions lottery jackpot.


Reply with the DONATION CODE

The only fee you will pay to my personal assistant to release the money to you is $100 and he will send it to you through ATM CARD or CASHIER CHECK.

Mr.Richard Wahl
29   Al_Sharpton_for_President   2022 Oct 31, 1:22pm  

Damn! What are the odds? Ka-Ching!
Good day to you.

I am Mr. Jean Dossou and a personal Accountant BOA bank of Benin
Republic. It is with a good spirit of heart that I opened up this
great opportunity to you. A deceased client of mine that shares
almost the same name as yours died as a result of heart-related
condition on march 2015, He died due to the death of the members of
his family in the plane crash disaster on the 8th of March 2014 in
Malaysia where they all lost their lives. You can read the website
below. https://www.bbc.com/news/business-59517821

There is a draft account opened in my bank in 1999 by the deceased. He
was a CEO/a textile company owner, business man, a miner at Natitingou
mining company here in Benin Republic. He was a geologist and
consultant to several other mining conglomerates operating in Greece,
China, Taiwan, Japan, Indonesia, Pakistan, Vietnam all in Asia. Before
he passed away on 12th march 2015 he had nobody as the next of kin to
his Bank account.

The amount in this account is currently $19,500,000 (Nineteen Million
Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) I want to present you as
his beneficiary/next of kin, I will use my position and influence
inour bank to make them release this money to you for us to share.

Let me know if you are interested in working with me by sending your
full name, Mobile telephone and fax number. As soon as I hear from
you, I will direct you on what to do next.

Best Regards,
Mr.Jean Dossou
31   Patrick   2023 Mar 9, 5:26pm  

From: IPG_LAW1112@nonpartisan.com
from shibamserver2.artofreality.com (server.modrexcorporations.com []) by patrick.net (Postfix) with ESMTPS id A2975A0222 for <p@patrick.net >; Fri, 10 Mar 2023 01:10:20 +0000 (UTC)
from [] (port=60278) by server.modrexcorporations.com with esmtpsa (TLS1.2) tls TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384 (Exim 4.96) (envelope-from <IPG_LAW1112@nonpartisan.com >) id 1paRGx-000ok3-1U for p@patrick.net ; Thu, 09 Mar 2023 19:10:19 -0600

Dear p,

Employee at patrick.net Company,

We are deeply saddened to inform you that your term of employment at patrick.net company has come to an immediate end. Due to the effect of high tax tariff which have affected our finance negatively during the last audit, we have no choice but to end your employment with us because we cannot service all the employees anymore. This decision is effective immediately and the original documents for the cancellation of your employment will be given to you in three days time. Note this is not a sack letter to you, rather we are reducing the number of employees. This is just a redundant leave.

Find attached your 2 months salary receipt.

We thank you for your service and we wish it didn't have to end this way.


Human Resources Manager

cc: ceo@patrick.net

Then attached is an ISO 9660 CD-ROM file named "SALARY RECEIPT " (with the spaces)

I think I won't open that.
32   WookieMan   2023 Mar 9, 6:04pm  

Patrick says

I think I won't open that.

I don't open any attachments unless I prompted it. 90% of the time I talked to the person via text or voice for the attachment. I don't open any emails unless I know the source either. The email address is usually a dead give away to not open it. Usually it's as obvious as can be. And fine, shut my account down.

Text have been worse lately. I've been getting random texts saying X, Y or Z account is about to be suspended with an obvious shit link just phishing to get my password. I'm sure there are people out there less secure or naive, but any of my financial accounts you can't get in with out me physically or my phone. That you'd still need a password to.

Got hacked once when I was younger and never again. Nothing financial, but I set everything up where it's even a pain in the ass for me to log in.
33   HeadSet   2023 Mar 9, 6:23pm  

WookieMan says

Got hacked once when I was younger and never again.

Hope that Nigerian Prince didn't scam you too hard. :-)
34   Patrick   2023 Jun 6, 10:41pm  

That one was from cv@service.bosszhipin.com or at least that's what the email says.

Looks like it came from IP

And that IP is owned by:

organisation: ORG-SL1181-RIPE
org-name: Suisse Limited
country: SC
org-type: OTHER
address: House of Francis
address: Room 303
address: Victoria
address: Seychelles

Well, that's not descriptive enough to send a letter. I do see their abuse contact though:


I'll ask if he can stop that.
35   WookieMan   2023 Jun 7, 2:21am  

Patrick says

That one was from cvservice.bosszhipin.com or at least that's what the email says.

As long as there's not an attachment I will open the email. I don't click any link, just reply. Usually something ridiculous and mean. Something like I hope your mom gets AIDS while a mountain loin is eating her legs. I just make up random shit. I do it with texts too. Usually ends with a fuck you. Who knows if they even see it. It's fun either way.
36   zzyzzx   2023 Jun 7, 4:44am  

Patrick says

Wife doesn't read the site

Without knowing anything about her, I'm guessing that you really don't want her reading stuff here.
37   Tenpoundbass   2023 Jun 7, 5:18am  

I keep getting spam saying they caught me whacking off to the nudie girls on the interwebs. They claim to have me on video taken from my camera of me making my "O" face, while pleasuring myself to hot naked hairy Liberal babes. That's a God damned lie, there aren't any hot Liberal babes.
Besides I took a drill punch and knocked out the camera on my laptop, so even if they, tried all they would have is a solid blurry whiteout image. No discernable image, color, shadow or light.
They want $10,000 to preserve my honor.
38   HeadSet   2023 Jun 7, 7:12am  

Tenpoundbass says

They want $10,000 to preserve my honor.

Tell them if they want pics, they gotta go to your "onlyfans" page and PAY.
39   HeadSet   2023 Jun 7, 7:17am  

Tenpoundbass says

Besides I took a drill punch and knocked out the camera on my laptop,

I wonder if one could put a tiny rig with a small picture at the proper focal length, and the picture being a cop at his desk. Or install an app that intercepts the camera API and displays a GIF instead.
40   WookieMan   2023 Jun 7, 7:34am  

HeadSet says

Tenpoundbass says

Besides I took a drill punch and knocked out the camera on my laptop,

I wonder if one could put a tiny rig with a small picture at the proper focal length, and the picture being a cop at his desk. Or install an app that intercepts the camera API and displays a GIF instead.

Clever ideas. I just use a post it note to cover my camera. Someone could probably hack and hear sound, but I say nothing of interest besides yelling at the kids to do something as I sit there doing nothing. lol.

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