patrick.net

https://babylonbee.com/news/desantis-makes-it-illegal-for-link-to-wear-gerudo-outfit-in-florida/

I misread this Babylonbee headline to say Guido Which was funnier and more significant, as a friend of mine just went on a three day trip to Columbia.
A couple friends decided they would go along as well. My interloper buddy I've talked about before. He's a very overbearing personality. He's going to see some jungle ruins and cultural crap like that. The buddies are going for the putas. One of them Sam is a down to earth guy, that is going along with Bernie's travel suggestion for accommodations and things they will do in the walled city. But the other guy is a New York Italian accent and all. I was overhearing their phone call talking about the plans on what they were bringing for the trip. Tony was talking about having to bring his Cpap and his Jackets and how many dress shoes he would need. While Bernie is trying to tell him to bring sneakers, tshirts and shorts. Bernie just wants to mingle with the locals doing folksy locals stuff. Tony wants to slather himself in a bucket of Aramis, put on a Sharkskin suit and Gold sparkle Florsheim shoes and go clubbing picking up chicks. Bernie and Sam are thinking more hitting up brothels and cutting the clubbing out. Bernie was arguing if he put on his gold chains, and dress up like he's got a wad of cash(which is another thing they guy wants to bring), he would make himself a mark. Tony wants to get to the club pick up a chick, hit it. Then sit up in his hotel room smoking cigarettes in his no smoking room(another contention with Bernie even though they aren't sharing rooms but he did recommend the guy though his AirBNB app) then surf on his lap top until dawn.
By the next day Berine is lamenting to me, that Tony has hijacked the intent of the trip. Bernie travels light with just the clothes on his back and what ever he can roll up and put in his carry on backpack. No checked luggage. Tony has about three suitcases by now, and since he will have to check out of the AirBNB by 11am and says he doesn't wake up until 2pm, he's asking Bernie now for one of the three rooms Bernie booked. Bernie likes to book rooms at 2 or 3 locations at his destination on opposite sides of the town. So he can have a room closest to the action. Now Tony has put a big damper on Bernies plans. Then Sam ran into a snag Tuesday he was worried his passport wouldn't arrive by Today. They called the immigration passport place in Miami, and they said the next appointment is more than a month from now. So Bernie was bummed he was going with just Guido, and not at least have down to earth Sam to keep him sane. Two overbearing personalities. It's like the Odd Couple with Jack Klugman and Walter Mathow. But as luck would have it, Sam got his passport yesterday in the mail and the trip was back on.

Wait until I tell Bernie DeSantis outlawed Guido outfits in Florida. LOL