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Embracing Realtwhores'(tm) Common Expressions
invite response
2006 Jul 28, 6:18pm 17,344 views 96 comments
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LoL!
My friend was telling me about one of his cats today, who got so hot sleeping near a heater, in the sunlight, that he needed to use oven gloves to pick her up because she was so hot.
Maybe its due to the incredible insulating properties of long-haired cats....
Speaking of a shell of a house, this shell wants $2.5M and has been on the market for over a year.
Also, the realtor writeup says that this property is red-tagged by the city, what does it mean? Red-tagging to me means the city doesn't allow you to build due to some topography challenges or constraints, and still they want $2.5M for a shell?
My new favourite phrase...."emotional charmer".....WTF?
The place in question:
http://tinyurl.com/m5yuj
Although Ill let you know if I feel emotional about it....once they've posted a photo....
Michael Anderson Says:
What do you make of these houses that sit on the MLS for years with the same price? Is the owner just playing, “I’m holding this until inflation catches up with my price�
I'm looking at some verrryy expensive houses in Topanga (90290) and have noticed that they have the highest DOMs of any other area I'm looking at.
My take is that they're so filthy rich that they haven't actually noticed that thier houses haven't sold yet.
There are a couple of places that have been on the market 200+ days, and no reduction, no nothing...
RP,
the lot in that part of Saratoga sells for around 1.5M per acre, he is asking for 2.5M.
Obviously the seller wants you to pay an extra Mil for that SHELL. Anybody who thinks that shell that has been sitting in the rain and sun for the last 365 days is worth a Mil??? Anyone?
Oh, I forgot to mention that the 2.5M shell does sit on a relatively steep slope (which also means that it has a good view) at the border of Saratoga and Monte Sereno. I drove by the place about one and half year ago, it looked the same as shown in the photo. I suspect that the builder/owner runs out of money.
Anyhow, I think that is probably the most expensive shell I've seen so far.
OO Says:
"...Anybody who thinks that shell that has been sitting in the rain and sun for the last 365 days is worth a Mil??? Anyone?"
___
Hell yeah! I think it's worth a cool Mil.
ANYTHING in Cali is worth a cool Mil. Are you kidding?
Next year it'll be worth a cool 2 Mil. And after than, 4 Mil, etc.
I will be laughing all the way to the bank and surfing all day while everyone
else is renting.
I will be declared a financial genius and shall wear the title like a chip on my shoulder.
God bless the "Golden Age" of California real estate!
And God bless Tiny Tim!
Zillow is way off in its estimate.
I can give you some concrete examples.
258 Belvue Dr, Los Gatos, CA 95032, sold on 5/24/06 for 1,1M. Zillow estimates it to be worth 1.4M. Excuse me, this was just sold 2 months ago for 300K less, how can it jump 300K in 2 months in a down market? The buyer just uncovered a pot of gold buried in the backyard??
105 Maria Teresa Ct, Los Gatos, CA sold on 6/28/06 for 1.0M, Zillow estimates it to be worth 1.25M now. What happened in the last 30 days to make this property worth 25% more???
Zillow is sooo ridiculous in its zestimate. Just check its comp transaction data and ignore the zestimate.
MA,
You can look for transaction record on ditech - but it may not have record for your town either.
OO Says:
"...Zillow is sooo ridiculous in its zestimate. Just check its comp transaction data and ignore the zestimate."
___
Shzit, yzeah. Zillow's zestimate iz fzucking sztupid asz.
B.A.C.A.H.
2006 Jul 31, 3:57pm
About a year ago, a story called "Countdown to Meltdown" was printed in the Atlantic Monthly.
It is supposed to take place in the future, in 2016, after a collapse in the US economy that included millions of foreclosures.
The foreclosures occur because of the adjustable rate mortgages and the fed response to a collapse of the dollar. Something like this happened during the Volcker years of the early 1980's, but at that time the effect was smaller because there weren't so many ARM's and HELOC's.
In this fantasy story, the collapse of the dollar is triggered by events that occur in the wake of the death of Fidel Castro.
I just heard on NPR tonight that Castro is ailing.
Here is a link to the story in last year's Atlantic Monthly:
Randy H
2006 Jul 31, 4:38pm
Michael Anderson said: I don’t think that a buyer’s market is a meaningful term to me. After all, it is the seller’s property. It’s up to them whether they are willing to sell at a given price.
SP said: Exactly - that is why it is NOT a buyer’s market unless the buyer has pricing power, no matter what the realtwhore says.
Sellers refusing to sell at a price does not necessarily mean it is not a "Buyer's Market". Buyers can still have pricing power even if there is a seller's boycott. This holds true unless any seller's boycott is effective enough at constricting supply to give sellers pricing power.
Interject game theory and basic human behavior here. Potential sellers with a need, want or desire to sell will not enjoin a "boycott" for solidarity's sake. They will act in their own best interest by attempting to get the best price possible. In a sinking market this means doing so by undercutting competitive sellers as early as possible.
Sellers who don't sell aren't sellers and do not represent potential supply. It is much harder to exert pricing power from the supply side in a competitive market with many suppliers and many purchasers.
Is there anything else that has price history for houses? The lack of an answer makes me think I’m out of luck.
Aside from Ditech, you may want to check out the local tax assessor's website (assuming they have one). The county tax assessor should have the complete sale history for all homes.
ajh,
isn't Costello also a member of the Liberal party? Liberal Party has been the incumbent party for 10+ years, so asking Liberal party to win again in the next election is in fact asking for quite a bit.
Does that mean the Costello is unlikely to raise rates again after this one to make sure no homeowners are hurt? Thanks
ajh,
In fairness to the "persuassion guy" they did run a full time "persuassion academy" and toured the U.S and Europe along with interactive on-line training so they were already spread thin. Oh, btw I loved "The Dark Tower of Financial Doom" you described over on Ben's! I'm "getting in" before it's too late!
Randy and SP,
Okay, maybe the PITI measurement isn't the best description, though that's was the case in Norman, OK and Rockville, MD during the durable of my stay there.
In CA, Prop 13 and a history of high housing price inflation may provide extra incentive to go above PITI, since people assume rent will eventually inflate up and quickly make up for the initial higher cost.
HARM,
You're right, of course! PITI to rent is not exactly apple to apple. I should include the opportunity costs and maintenance cost and such...I guess my main point is that I don't want to pay an outrageous premium just to live in a house in my name. Since the current market still reflects a reality where owning is much more expensive than renting, I cannot call such a market a "buyer's market."
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As a tribute to the Realtwhores(tm) -- our fearless, blind, and relentless cheerleaders of this declining housing market, let's start, and embrace, a collection of their favorite home listing remarks and styles:
The Classics:
1. Realtwhores(tm) love to use asterisks in place of usual punctuations, and decorate the rest of their listings with excessive exclamations that would make Elaine Benes proud.
2. Mixing "it's" and "its": Realtwhores'(tm) common way to tackle this tough spelling problem is to use "it's" and "its" alternatively. If "it's" has just been used, the next one must be undoubtedly "its".
3. "Charming and must-see": The Realtwhore(tm) has suffered a blow to the head recently, and actually meant to say the opposite.
4. "Contractor's special": Realtwhores'(tm) way of saying "we're giving you a discount because we actually think you're an idiot".
5. "Granite counter", "Maple cabinet", "Double-pane windows", "Caulked and Sealed": Something Realtwhores'(tm) in the Bay Area expect you to pay $100k premium for, while the rest of the country takes it for granted. Words of Caution: make sure those houses have doors and indoor pumbling. If there are double-paned windows involved, expect to be neighborly with light rail and/or Caltrain and/or Amtrak.
Semi-Original:
1. "Upgrades galore": Basic decorations that make the house look barely presentable -- things like granite counter and maple cabinet. See item 5 above.
2. "Shows nicely": Realtwhores'(tm) conniving attempt at performing a Jedi's mind trick. If they say that often enough, a cabin 5 ft. away from freeway 880 will look just as nice as Larry Ellison's Los Altos Hills mansion, providing all the lights are turned off at both places.
3. "Better than new": Any used shitbox could beat a brand-new home built by KB Homes, and we Realtwhores(tm) know that.
4. "Bring your fuzziest (sic) buyers": Realtwhores(tm) just love to say "fuzzy" instead of "fussy". Why, "fussy" looks like a dangerous misspell, while "fuzzy" appeals to both non-nerdy and nerdy demographics in the Silicon Valley. Just look up "fuzzy math" and "fuzzy logic".
5. "Wow": Realtwhores'(tm) sincere hope to simulate the same affinity Ben Stein has with the Clear Eyes eyedrop.
6. "Stunning": You won't believe they want $800k for this Cupertino cow dung.
7. "Coming soon": We'd rather believe this house is "Dead Man's Chest" than "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby".
8. "Sellers are desperate" and "Sellers are very, very, very motivated": You'll see this more and more.
*Really* Original:
1. "Rare": The only livable and presentable house in the neighborhood. Sometimes, it also means a neighborhood in San Jose where you won't need to keep a gun that's constantly loaded.
2. "Priced to sell": Once for a while, we decide to do you a favor and want to conduct serious business. The other listings are just jokes.
3. "Address withheld by seller (not in El Camino Real)": Our seller is too ashamed for being a pussy and giving up on the ARM sooner than his peers. However, because we don't disclose our address, Google and Yahoo Maps seem to have the nasty bug of marking our address-withheld house right in the middle of El Camino Real. Just want to clear that up.
4. "Peek-a-boo view of Bay Bridge": Relive your childhood while hoping the double-paned windows will keep out the bridge's traffic noise at the same time.
5. "Near Rivermark": Near the Amtrak railroad.
#housing