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Patrick.net Photoshop Extravaganza!


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2006 Nov 14, 10:29am   10,006 views  127 comments

by HARM   ➕follow (0)   💰tip   ignore  

Ok, all you Photoshop wizards out there finally have a creative outlet. Please post links to any of your REIC/Bubble-themed masterpieces here. If you don't know Photoshop, no problem: "found art" (proper credit given to the artist, of course) is just as good.

Because only threadmasters can post images, you'll have to just post them as normal links and I'll try to convert them to viewable images as time permits. I'll give you my own and Muggy's latest contributions to start things off:

Enjoy...
HARM

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2   DinOR   2006 Nov 14, 10:50am  

Senor Cardgage Mortgage

I don't know why this one cracks me up so much?

4   Glen   2006 Nov 14, 12:22pm  

Off topic, but I just attended the most obnoxious seminar on baby-boomer retirement. It was called "The Power Years!" It was a nonstop self-congratulatory infomercial about how baby boomers will "reinvent" retirement. Ugh.

The only highlight was when the presenter told an anecdote about a delusional client who decided to use her meager retirement savings to buy a second house. I have a feeling boomers will "reinvent" retirement by never retiring.

5   DinOR   2006 Nov 14, 12:28pm  

Glen,

Why in God's creation would you be in attendance? (was it one of those "threat of employment" deals?)

6   EBGuy   2006 Nov 14, 12:56pm  

Isn't this a sign of the housing peak? Two former Presidents at your national convention... Nowhere to go but down as fewer folks will be paying dues next year.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2006/11/12/national/a111526S13.DTL&hw=bush+clinton&sn=011&sc=307

They're separated by more than 20 years, they come from opposing political parties, and one evicted the other from the White House. But Bill Clinton and George Bush act like a team, a pair of touring comedians with a well-honed act.

The two former presidents even have their entrance down pat, striding in with arms aloft, music pounding, lights flashing, the crowd standing and going wild.

The pair addressed more than 25,000 people attending the National Association of Realtors convention on Saturday, drawing at least six standing ovations and almost continuous applause.

7   DinOR   2006 Nov 14, 1:05pm  

EBGuy,

Talk about horsepower? Do you have any idea what having ONE former Pres. speak at your event (let alone two!) Now that's what I call a "dog and pony show"!

8   DinOR   2006 Nov 14, 1:06pm  

What do these guys get for speaking fees? 50K? 100K? More?

10   skibum   2006 Nov 14, 2:37pm  

Sorry for the ignorance, but how do you include images on your posts?

11   HARM   2006 Nov 14, 2:39pm  

Because only threadmasters can post images, you’ll have to just post them as normal links and I’ll try to convert them to viewable images as time permits.

12   skibum   2006 Nov 14, 2:42pm  

Thanks!

13   sobs   2006 Nov 14, 3:28pm  

A true story of madness and (shortly) woe ...

Imagine a 60ish woman, with a paid for house and a middling investment portfolio. Somewhat at loose ends, she became a realtor two years ago and has just found her sea legs in the business. No great boom in her area, unlike elsewhere, so she hasn't made all that much money at it. Figuring in mileage and marketing costs and electronic gadgetry and desk rent, it's probably sub minimum wage. A small pension from her late husband's employment plus the realtor gig doesn't quite cover the monthly nut, so the investment portfolio is set up to throw off cash. There is no way of avoiding the truth though: half her net worth is undiversified residential real estate. Financial adviser warns her explicitly to stay away from more real estate because she's overexposed as it stands.

Of course, realtors know everything about real estate. Visiting children (and grandchildren!) three hours drive away, a bargain presents itself. Waterfront. Charming. Close to grandkids. Tenant in place. Makes an offer, has it accepted, all contingencies including financing expire. Contract ironclad, close in two weeks.

Net worth now 80% residential real estate, still undiversified because 3 hours away isn't far enough to change dependence on local economics. Back of the envelope figuring: new house is a grand a month negative cash flow against the mortgage broker's cheapest recommendation of an IO. Unwilling to sell current house to fund purchase and move because (1) spring is the right time to sell, (2) she's a realtor and she knows in her bones that the market is D-E-A-D, and (3) she's just gotten her business presence established where she is now.

Let me summarize: No financing commitment in place but financing contingency has expired. Barely making ends meet now but has committed to burn a thousand a month from here on. 80% of net worth now in one real estate market. The house she needs to sell - but does not WANT to sell - is in a locale where the inventory/sales ratio is already at 15 months. Local sales rates - but not prices - are at the lowest levels in 10 years.

NOW she calls her financial adviser to ask, "How do I pay for the new house?"

I shouldn't have picked up the phone.

14   Different Sean   2006 Nov 14, 3:50pm  

Punchbowl Says:
Back of the envelope figuring: new house is a grand a month negative cash flow against the mortgage broker’s cheapest recommendation of an IO.

hmm, well, that is the sole problem. Why would you 'invest' in something that costs you a grand a month with no real prospect of significant capital appreciation? How is that ever a 'bargain'? And that is on an IO loan, not P&I...

Examples of moneymakers to me are:

- a licensed boarding house put on the market near me, 7 bedrooms, 1 minutes walk from the central station in a major metropolis, asking $700K. Licensed B/H status means that there is no land tax to pay each year, only a $200 council inspection fee. The return on the room easily covers principal and interest on a loan. Cash flow positive, would be paid off in 15-20 years by tenants even on a 100% loan.

- block of land with an old worthless shack on it, street frontage at front and rear, close to train station, city and major hospital, plans approved by council to subdivide and build 2 brand new brick homes of 3 and 4 br. Do the sums and see if you can walk away with $200K in 12 months as a cash flow venture. Possibly even avoid stamp duty and capital gains tax if you do it right by occupying while constructing.

15   Different Sean   2006 Nov 14, 7:55pm  

Does anybody have the Lereah book cover that someone already made over?

image from amazon?

16   Sylvie   2006 Nov 14, 10:30pm  

Just clicked on made me laugh my ass off! I actually own a hookah but I never have tried kool aid. I have tried the fruit flavored tabacco's.

17   DinOR   2006 Nov 14, 10:41pm  

Punchbowl,

Great "case study" and thank you for sharing that (however close to home). Here's how I've contended with that very issue in the past.

I'm among a handful of folks here in the PNW that actually have the capacity to allow clients the use of their IRA's for RE. (I realize that's going to sound awfully conflicted) but most of what we have done is more along the lines of repo's, tax liens etc. What I usually explain to the client is that if you're not generating POSITIVE cash flow it makes more sense to own this NEGATIVE cash flow property OUTSIDE of your IRA!

This approach couches the whole proposal in an entirely different light! Meaning yes, you will be highly unlikely at these prices to be able to generate positive cash flow! Since you'll be doing this little venture entirely with hard earned dollars from your IRA are you SURE this is something you still want to pursue? If the answer is still yes, can I recommend you chase this folly outside of your IRA (that way at least you'll be able to write off the depreciation!)

That "take away" usually (but not always) nips the whole thing in the bud. If they STILL want to move forward by all means steer them toward a "non-recourse" loan so the worst case scenario is they'll come up w/25% down (vice 100%) and the "non-recourse" feature of the loan provides that only the RE portion of their IRA is in "peril". When they ask what do you mean by "peril" you go on to explain that if/when this entire neg. C/F facade falls apart the lender will not be able to liquidate their stocks, bonds and MF's to satisfy the loan! (That usually puts the brakes on the whole idea).

I realize this entire approach is a "little" under handed but if it means saving ONE would be RE specuvestor from near certain death......... then it was worth it. I tell clients, don't give up on the idea! There will be an entry point that DOES make sense. Just not now. Set up the acct. anyway and fund it w/ 5-10K (@ mmkt rates) so you have earnest money at the ready in the event something really appealing presents itself!

(I have a lot of 5-10K accounts standing by, at the ready!)

19   DinOR   2006 Nov 15, 12:13am  

What a blast!

Can you actually buy one or is it just a "graphic"? An "updated" version is long overdue. I'd hate to see young people getting the wrong idea that getting ahead in life centered around sacrifice, saving and hard work so this newer game fits the bill!

20   Allah   2006 Nov 15, 12:51am  

Anyone see this site yet?

21   astrid   2006 Nov 15, 1:17am  

SHTF,

Congrats! Does that mean you'll stick around the East Bay for a bit longer?

22   DinOR   2006 Nov 15, 1:19am  

SHTF,

Hey man, how you doin'? Good to hear about your new job! (Careful not throw your back out with that new paycheck!)

Yeah we're still here. Hey since the thread is all about graphics dazzle us w/some of your favorites!

23   DinOR   2006 Nov 15, 1:24am  

allah,

While an admirable "grass roots" effort just look at how out of the loop the appraisers are! They're forced into setting up a petition just to get the ball rolling. Shouldn't the word of their National Director be enough?

Maybe we should make DL run around town and collect signatures every time he wants to make a claim. Of course his time is much too valuable for that.

24   DinOR   2006 Nov 15, 1:34am  

SHTF,

Why not "sheckle away" some of d' extra bucks in your 401K, wait for the kitchen utensils to hit the linoleum and use that first time buyer provision in the plan! Bunky!

25   skibum   2006 Nov 15, 1:36am  

SHTF,

Long time no post! Good to hear you're doing well. So are you sticking around the BA for a while then?

26   HARM   2006 Nov 15, 1:39am  

allah, your Monopoly parody was awesome!

27   DinOR   2006 Nov 15, 1:43am  

HARM,

Does that mean it's *not* a Milton Bradley (TM) Approved for ages 3-9 product? Man. And here I was ready to get mine on order before the holiday rush!

28   Allah   2006 Nov 15, 1:50am  

allah, your Monopoly parody was awesome!

What parody?

29   HARM   2006 Nov 15, 1:52am  

DinOR,

Oh "if only" we could get the ok from M.B. to manufacture this sucker!

30   Allah   2006 Nov 15, 1:53am  

Nah, that's not mine! Give Aaron Erimez the credit for that, not me.

31   HARM   2006 Nov 15, 1:55am  

allah,

I'm pretty much a self-taught Photoshop rank amateur myself. How did you do the cast-iron Hummer 'token'?

32   HARM   2006 Nov 15, 1:56am  

Ahhh... never mind.

33   HARM   2006 Nov 15, 1:59am  

allah,

RE: Appraisers Petition

Yeah, SoCalMortgageGuy brought that to our attention a while back. Good luck getting it passed before '08 though (after most of the option-ARM shit hits the fan). Funny how most of the responses are from Viagr@ and NAAVLP spammers!

34   Allah   2006 Nov 15, 2:00am  

allah,

I’m pretty much a self-taught Photoshop rank amateur myself. How did you do the cast-iron Hummer ‘token’?

HARM,

That is NOT my work. I like you am a self taught photoshop amateur. If I did something like that, it would probably take me the better part of the day to do it and it probably wouldn't have come out nearly as good.

35   DinOR   2006 Nov 15, 2:16am  

David Lereah,

Go pound sand!

36   skibum   2006 Nov 15, 2:21am  

Check out David Lereah's link to "his" myspace site. Funny stuff.

37   Allah   2006 Nov 15, 2:22am  

I deeply resent the use of my image in this way. Let me assure anyone found misusing my name and image will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

I play a vital role not only in the field of real estate, but also finance and the world economy. My fans and followers rely on being able to trust my remarks.

I take full responsibility, sue me! :lol:

38   DinOR   2006 Nov 15, 2:38am  

allah,

You've got to say that right, now damn it!

The correct way is to say;

"Go for it dude, even my company uniform is rented!"

39   lunarpark   2006 Nov 15, 3:01am  

http://www.dqnews.com/RRBay1106.shtm

October Bay Area housing numbers released.

40   HARM   2006 Nov 15, 3:12am  

David Lereah,

Welcome to the blog! We are most (dis)honored to have you here, sir! Your name often comes up in our many discussions about REIC propaganda, insider pumping/dumping and MSM dishonesty in general.

Just one question that's been puzzling me, though: what is the correct spelling of your surname? Is it "Liarrhea", "LiarRealtor", or "LiarRealtwhore" ?

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