patrick.net

Huh?

Like, as in; "Serve Eviction Notice"?

A takeoff on "To Serve Man", perhaps. Try http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man_(The_Twilight_Zone)

See, when we start sending in lowball offers in a year or three, we should be able to say "ooooh, you got SERVED!" when we hand it to the FBs.

@Punchbowl

Bwahahahaha! Or perhaps more appropriately what would you prefer as a "side dish"? Since FB's are like a frog in a pyrex (TM) dish anyway they probably don't even realize their being basted!

Is this a thread for process servers? I mean sci-fi process servers?

A man materialized in front of Jones.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Is there a Johnny Jones here?" The man asked.

"I am Johnny."

"You are served." The process server beamed the foreclosure documents into the plasma screen in the room and dematerialized.

Perhaps a more mundane meaning of the word "service" is implied in the title.

How about the method parents used to employ to get kids to stop smoking? Oh, you think you want to be "one of the cool kids heh?" Well I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke that WHOLE PACK non-stop!

Make FB tow that 5th Wheel camper behind his Chevy Subdivision w/jet skis on back, (Chrome Harley in tow) blasting his XM Radio (TM) eyes glued to onboard DVD player EVERY DAY to work and back, returning movies to Blockbuster (TM) and even checking the mail! Make FB (squared) tow the "whole Marrianne" EVERY WEEKEND to his 2nd/vacation specuvestment! NO exceptions! You bought it? You name it!

Start liking it! :(

I like my FB slow-roasted over a fire (preferably made from his/her option-ARM reset notices). Best served with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Maybe this thread is supposed to be like this thread:

http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/04/announcing_seco.html

Basically, this was a challenge to come up with some great movie plot ideas involving terrorism.

There are some really creative entries there... Like this one:

http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/04/announcing_seco.html#c160427

Doh, my comment is in moderation :(

DinOR: Can you point me to a MLS listing site for the PDX area? And a "nice" zip code? I want to do an entry on http://burbed.com comparing a bay area house to a pdx house.

Thanks!

@eburbed

http://trulia.com/OR/Lake_Oswego/

Hope this works,

DinOR

Speaking of served, how'd you like to be the guy who served the papers to this place? I'm not even sure if 13000 sq.ft. on 35 acres even qualifies as a McMansion anymore. Maybe a Super Sized McMansion?

http://www.cohomefinder.com/p/80524/360365.htm

Welcome to Hubris Ranch Estates! Where FB's and their compatriots are served generous helpings of humble pie...

I’m not even sure if 13000 sq.ft. on 35 acres even qualifies as a McMansion anymore. Maybe a Super Sized McMansion?

It is a McChateau.

LOL! A McChateau.

I think his deck alone might be bigger than my parent's entire house. In fact, his house has more square feet than 90% of the lots in town!

This home has 5 bedrooms a study, 9 bathrooms...

Oooh, it is my type of dream home. :)

Brand,

I think when they show the taxes at $2,000 I'll take that to mean "per month". Was the guy in default or do you suspect he will be shortly?

Was the guy in default or do you suspect he will be shortly?

I think the description says the house is lender-owned.

"I think the house is lender-owned"

If that IS the case he just might be the Larimer County Record Holder!

Top THAT m#tha f#ckuh! :)

Yes, the description says lender owned. I bet he's not the record holder in Larimer County, unless you remove farms and commercial properties. Even then, I bet he still doesn't break the Top 10, because there's a lot of fast money out here. Who wants to bet he's from California? :) We get a lot of CA cashouts who buy huge retirement McMansions on the golf courses. There are lots of million dollar homes in foreclosure in Ft. Collins and Windsor. The $600K-$1M range probably has at least 25-50 homes in foreclosure, although some of them seem to be selling lately. I really need to start a blog about uber-foreclosures, so that we can track how much the bank takes in the end.

You think the bank would take a dime on the dollar for the McChateau? Who is going to buy an enormous place like that in the isolated north of town? Dig the outside gas fireplace on the deck, though. I like the wine cellar and the private lake, too, but I'm not sure how I'd pay the property taxes. Maybe I could just take out a HELOC to pay the taxes every year?

No carpets, 9 toilets to clean, godnose what it costs to heat. Why?

Brand,

Now why didn't "I" think of that! If you put together an "uber FB" site I see lots of traffic in your future! In ways I'm a little envious of Aaron Krowne (Mortgage Implode) b/c he's gotten a lot of press and only been around (AFAIK) for a very brief time. He just found the most sensationalist and pyrotechnic aspect of the bubble and it caught on quickly. OTOH I'm still pleased w/his success! :)

Without Patrick, Ben and their contribution, for all we know, we would be in:

The Real Estate Boom (Year 10)

Maybe if people were held publicly accountable we wouldn't have McChateaux's in default a year after they were completed?

DinOR, there is something morbidly interesting about tracking McMansions that went back to the bank. It seems like a cruel blog to start, but maybe I can justify that with my Post-Consumerist viewpoints. :)

There were a lot of previous high-end REO listings that appear to have sold. Tech is big in Fort Collins--we have major outposts for Intel, AMD, Sun, HP, Agilent, Advanced Energy. During the boom, lots of people hired in with huge salaries, bought McMansions and then got canned 2-3 years later. And when tech went into nuclear winter, there weren't many jobs engineers could find in Fort Collins paying $90-110K/year to feed that alligator. Plus, with no growth, there are few buyers in the $400K+ range.

Our prices are kinda sticky, at only -10% from 2003 to now. I want to see either prices here come down more, or serious growth in high paying jobs. We are a popular retirement destination, but "gray money" alone can't account for the oversupply of McMansions, fake lakes and golf course homes.

...Or maybe it might be all of us who will be serving the FB's?

Did you see on Aaron's site, he has a class action signup page for FB's; This will certainly draw in more "victims" which will ultimately lead to taxpayer bailouts when the lenders go under and we are left with the check.

With a rotation schedule, 9 toilets will last a long time between cleaning.

5 bed / 9 bath is a good combination. There should always be more bathrooms than bedrooms.

How about themed bathrooms? :)

My cats would disagree, but I prefer hardwood (not pergo) and stones to carpet any day.

Why haven’t they invented a self-cleaning toilet?

It is cheaper to hire guest workers.

Why haven’t they invented a self-cleaning toilet?

Actually, they have:

http://www.extremetech.com/article2/0,1558,1820013,00.asp

A house that size requires a team of at least 4 guest worker maids.

Peter, it seems like a waste to have 9 bathrooms. I would rather have a main Roman bath, then a scattering of 2-3 full baths for convinience.

With 35 acres of privacy, maybe the Roman bath could have a glass wall looking out onto the lake, and sort of a greenhouse decor with lots of plants.

Peter, it seems like a waste to have 9 bathrooms. I would rather have a main Roman bath, then a scattering of 2-3 full baths for convinience.

Perhaps, I think 5 bed / 7 bath is more reasonable. His-and-her baths in the master suite, 4 outher suites, and a guest bath. :)

I like the roman bath with greenhouse decor though.

With 35 acres there shouldn't be any shortage of "baths".

allah,

I'm not sure I dig where Aaron is going. How typical, rather than education and counselling when push comes to shove it's "SUE the bastards"! I realize the guy's gotta make a buck but is this the best use of his cyber-notoriety?

With 35 acres there shouldn’t be any shortage of “baths”.

I wonder why golf courses build toilets all around. :roll:

I’m not sure I dig where Aaron is going. How typical, rather than education and counselling when push comes to shove it’s “SUE the bastards”! I realize the guy’s gotta make a buck but is this the best use of his cyber-notoriety?

Exactly! The true "victims" will find their way to a lawyer on their own; Aaron is just instigating and encouraging more FB's to claim themselves as victims. While I really don't care how much money they fleece out of those shills, you know growing number of "victims", this whole thing is going to fall on the backs of us taxpayers who will then be the true victims.

You can only feel so bad for sheeple until they start to take you down with them. In other words, don't give a hungry dog a bone if it's crazy-glued to your hand.

allah,

That and the fact that if given a nice settlement how much has our FB really learned? Oh... I get it! Go out and borrow more than you could possibly EVER afford to pay back in TWO lifetimes then live "rent free" and you get a check! Whadda kountry! :)

Wouldn't these solutions be better served through education and training?

Earlier today I heard one of the class action attorneys for the (former) Enron shareholders and while he had some legit points the bank's atty. said all we're doing here is taking away the liability from Enron shareholders and transferring that risk to the BofA shareholders.

He went on to say that (ahem) their shareholders had done their due dilligence and that perhaps Enron s/h should have done theirs? After all, the bank lost a ton of money too.

DinOR,

I already have some free information for the sheeple looking to buy. Of course it's not going to help those who already made the transition from sheeple to FB, but it may wake some sheeple up who haven't yet crossed over. I have yet to add to it regarding financing, anyone have anything to add to it let me know.

DinOR: I am puzzled by your bad attitude about the justice that people clearly deserve. Are you seriously suggesting that people be well educated prior to making major financial decisions? That, good sir, is the biggest load of tomfoolery I have heard this week!

Next you will suggest something even more ridiculous, like a correlation between risk and return. Just do yourself a favor. Forget the numbers (you're a number weenie, aren't you?) and read the illuminating posts from theOtherSide in previous threads. Buy now, math is for dorks, it always goes up. Why must I always just spell it out for you people?!?

By the way, anyone know where I can get a $3.52M loan? I figure that huge lake house isn't going to sit on the market for long. My realtor tells me there are other bids, so I want to push up another 10% right off. I'll take any terms, so long as I can make the first couple monthly payments. Then I'll install some carpet and perigraniteel, flip that sucker and move on to the next prime area. Maybe the marina? Guess I'm just confused by all you renters out there... you number-nerds just need to face reality! One day you'll all be wishful that you'd taken my advice. Please set aside your opinions!

Of course I only want to gloat over them which is borderline evil.

Do you plan to "troll" there? :)

Try this one:

http://iamfacingforeclosure.com/

Again, I honestly admire Casey Serin.