patrick.net

SJ, two coworkers in about the same pay grade who live in The Fortress had kids graduate HS the same year as my oldest, '09. Their kids went to Coveted "public" HS's with Coveted API scores, mine went to a public system that if they were not polite in front of me, they'd sneer at.

All three of these kids took a sh*tload of AP courses, etc.

Those other two kids had higher GPA's than mine, but then, they did not participate in sports. My kid was in three sports (a fall sport, a winter sport, and a spring sport) all four years.

All our kids got accepted to the same UC's, - (nobody made it into UCB but did all the other campuses).

Our family drove, and continues to drive, beater looking cars we keep well maintained. Fits right in with the neighborhood we live at. Fortress dweller coworkers show up to work in the cars you'd expect to see in The Fortress. And then, there's the once-every-other-year-or-so Very Expensive International Travel to "back home" which of course is Even More Expensive since peak holiday travel prices coincide with when K-12 is not in session.

Now the GrassHoppers are bellyaching about the cost of their kids' college expenses, (the similar expenses my kid is getting) because, well, working in a tech dept kinda makes you ineligible for financial aid. So far anyway, we Ants have been able to absort the cost from our paychecks, though it means setting aside less per paycheck than in years past. I listen empathetically.

I agree that K-12 is very important. Being outside of The Fortress, I had my nose to the ground at my kids' public K-12; was a fixture on the campuses (still doing it for the younger one), mainly so that I could continually assess the academic opportunities, peer groups of kids and families, and safety. If am not confident about the situation, we'd relocate our kid(s) in a heartbeat.

Outsourcing Basic Parenting to an API score can be a Very Expensive Proposition.

SJ,

It totally is overrated.

I have seen tons of parents at just about every socio-eonomic level that neglect their kids. While the chances of parents being brighter in high socioeconmic areas, it doesnt dictate how well they parent.
Because quite frankly when a kid comes into the mix, every parent is on the same page. Page 1. IMHO its how well a parent is able to work with what they have to provide a stable path for the kid. Just as all kids wont be pro athletes, all kids are not going to be academic whiz kids. Its about balance.

Its amazing how kids are kids, but adults at times will try to impose a framework of life that has no meaning to them. Its like hearing a kid say something "adult like" but they are like parrots. All they are doing is repeating what they hear but it has no depth or meaning.

Its a strip mall/cookie cutter mentality that I believe will always be there in society, but I am doubtful will yield the next great thinker or problem solver.

SDengineer says

Its a strip mall/cookie cutter mentality that I believe will always be there in society, but I am doubtful will yield the next great thinker or problem solver.

I thought my take on this was over but I had to comment here. You hit this directly on the head. It is a strip mall mentality, middle class bluecollar mentality of what upper class is supposed to be. The people worry so much about such things to such an extreme level are in my view social climbers. This is not as these climbers would like to believe about society because real high society doesn't think the way some people here are. This is about social climbing and nothing more.