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2006 Jun 25, 11:24am   24,136 views  335 comments

by Peter P   ➕follow (2)   💰tip   ignore  


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312   GallopingCheetah   2006 Jun 27, 4:26pm  

Randy, you got some part wrong. FAB was boasting his conquests of young 20 something, 50 in a row, possibly over his half life time. Nevetheless, a marvelous achievement. Congratulations to FAB! Come to think of it, the number is a little sickening. But, I like variety, too.

313   Peter P   2006 Jun 27, 6:08pm  

I recommend a good Ouija board. I have one from c. 1975 I might be willing to part with for the right offer.

Please find out how things work before using them. Esoteric methods are not all the same. Some can have undesirable side effects.

314   Red Whine   2006 Jun 28, 1:28am  

SQT-

Thanks for proving my point for me. You're so threatened by the new generation of men who do all the domestic chores, all the cooking, the household finances, and breadwinning that the best you can do is
"you must be gay."

And, if I was, what would be wrong with that? "Bay Area tolerance" at its best.

Have fun engineering the next generation of "chubby divas".

315   Red Whine   2006 Jun 28, 2:00am  

SQT-

Gen X, not Y. Guess you haven't been reading my posts either!

I'm actually genuinely curious -- where do you live that you "don't see" any of this?

It's funny, last night I actually thought about your lambasting of my posts. The date I had last night, when I picked her up, she invited me in for about five minutes while she tied up a couple loose ends before we left for a show. The apartment looked like a tornado had struck it. Clothes and paper waste scattered literally everywhere. Cue tips on the floor like someone hadn't even aimed for the trash can. The sink so full of dirty dishes that you couldn't put one more cup in it. Like Former Apt Broker said, after seeing about 50 of these, you begin to draw some conclusions. It's only bizarre to hear a woman like yourself go into "defend and attack" mode rather than actually address how in the world it got to this point.

316   Red Whine   2006 Jun 28, 2:37am  

SQT-

Age 32.

"But I find the generalizations frustrating."

This is one of those times where I think "generalizations are generally true" -- at least of this one particular age group. And since I date exclusively within my age group (so far anyways), yes I'm a participant, not a victim.

Writing nasty generalizations, obviously I knew someone was going to take a swing at me, and let's be honest -- we were both swinging below the belt, that's just part of what goes down on these boards.

"And last time I checked, obesity was not gender specific. "

Don't tie any of that stuff to me -- while I'm not overweight, I'm not freaked out by a girl having a little extra weight, and frankly, I'm puzzled by people who have an extreme reaction to a little chub.

317   Randy H   2006 Jun 28, 2:48am  

Red Whine,

Like Former Apt Broker said, after seeing about 50 of these, you begin to draw some conclusions. It’s only bizarre to hear a woman like yourself go into “defend and attack” mode rather than actually address how in the world it got to this point.

Unimpeachable logic. It must be that all the girls are the problem, not the one guy who has made the picks.

I'm sorry that you guys have managed to attract such misery and strife into your lives. You are clearly victims of an inequitable gender system that puts you at distinct disadvantages with regard to your relationships. I truly hope you find mates deserving of your well formed, mature perspectives.

Since we're using anecdotal life experience as evidence, I've found two truths to hold with certainty:

1) People mostly get what they deserve in a mate. Occasionally there's a mismatch, but after 10 (let alone 50), you're definitely finding exactly what you're seeking -- that is usually the best you are capable of attracting.

2) People who brag about their sexual exploits either directly or cleverly couched in subtle innuendo, are usually full of shit. Those who do so anonymously are almost always full of shit. Those who do so anonymously, off topic, on a blog are certainly full of shit.

318   Red Whine   2006 Jun 28, 3:04am  

Randy,

I haven't made any claims yet, so which ones am I full of shit about?

You're clearly looking for a fight, go take it somewhere else.

The whole reason I blog here in the first place is because it's a housing bubble blog that TENDS TO GO OFF TOPIC. Housing being my favorite topic, but when it spins off on "dating adventures gone wrong," sushi, and "favorite subcompact cars" -- that's what keeps me coming back.

But again, go pick your fight with someone else. I couldn't possibly be less interested in that.

319   Randy H   2006 Jun 28, 3:38am  

American girls are like american real estate… way too expensive for what you get. bad p/e ratio. id just as well go meet some eager mexican girl… theyre nice, they want to pull thier own weight, usually good looking. The average american girl has been ‘flipped’ so many times I dont know what im getting.

...nothing more can be said. we've hit a new high of intelligent discourse on this blog.

I give it 3 months before we're the new Craigslist RE forum.

320   Peter P   2006 Jun 28, 3:45am  

we’ve hit a new high of intelligent discourse on this blog.

Have you been to the Huh thread (not Duh)?

321   Red Whine   2006 Jun 28, 3:52am  

Randy,

In this thread, there have been plenty of accusations of people being "threatened" by this or that. On that note, why are you so threatened by the idea of men who insist on potential mates being 50% contributors? Isn't that what gender equality is supposed to be?

I'm sure you're going to twist this as Oedipal or something, but using my grandmother as the gold standard, a generation where women could truly "do it all", I don't think there is anything unreasonable about being disheartened by a generation where MANY (notice I did not say "all") of its women have shunned all thing domestic as beneath them. Real men cook and clean, but you know what? So do real women.

It's funny how "men are dogs" can be said over and over and over and everybody just chuckles, but when women are called to the carpet for undesireable trends, you feel the need to rush to their defense. From the looks of SQT, they don't need your feeble attempts at "chivalry", then can defend themselves just fine.

And dismissing high standards as "unintelligent" -- you can do better than that.

322   Randy H   2006 Jun 28, 8:11am  

There is always the spam filter, right

Yep. I use a RSS Feed aggregator with a filter list I have labeled "asshats". Sadly, that list is growing.

I just love anonymous blogging big-talkers. They add such positive value to the discussion.

Btw, I would have categorized Have fun engineering the next generation of “chubby divas” as a bona fide Troll/flame bait and banned his ass for making a deeply personal insult were this my thread. I think an apology is in order for that shit. But since this isn't my thread, I guess it's filter/asshats/add-name.

323   Red Whine   2006 Jun 28, 1:38pm  

Rick, ignore him, he's just looking for a fight.

324   astrid   2006 Jun 29, 12:59am  

Geesh, where do you guys find these generalizeably offensive women? I feel so innocuous now. The last three things my boyfriend chewed me out on were (1) going through a 25 lb bag of flour in 10 days (2) complaining about the lackluster non-Brad Birdness of "Cars" during the ending credits and (3) not reading and viewing TV programs in chronological order.

325   Red Whine   2006 Jun 29, 4:01am  

Astrid -
If you and your boyfriend only bicker over the little stuff, then life is good.

Where do I meet them? Geez, I guess I meet them all over. The last few girls I've met: In line at Starbucks, another a temp from work, and another a UCLA student that I met at a wine tasting (who failed to disclose that she was married!).
I know SQT disagrees with my harsh assessment, but it's just what I've discovered in the AGE GROUP that I date in. I'm 32, and am most comfortable sticking to the 30-35 yr old girls (not that I wouldn't make an exception, but I relate best to people my own age).

Also, upon reflection, I wonder if it could be that, once you reach your early 30s, maybe the dating pool has been stripped of many of the better candidates (many of the really "great catches" have gotten married and disappeared), and that I'm "bottom-fishing" a little bit. Also, having been with someone for 8 yrs up until very recently, maybe my expectations are a bit outdated.

326   surfer-x   2006 Jun 29, 4:32am  

another a temp from work,

Ahhh fishing off the company pier, always recommended.

327   Red Whine   2006 Jun 29, 4:55am  

surfer x-
They say "don't shit where you eat" -- but I was hungry, so I ignored this advice.

328   Red Whine   2006 Jun 29, 5:15am  

"I know a few single women in their 30’s and 40’s and they pretty much figure all the good men are taken."

I hear this a lot from my single female friends, but I usually take it to mean that the men aren't "marriage-minded". I think that's a big disconnect between 30-something men and women. The womens' clocks are ticking so they've accelerated the set of expectations, which doesn't always sit well with the men.

"And if a woman is divorced with children, most single men don’t want any part of that either."

As awful as it sounds, I'm in that camp. I'm too into traveling on short notice, sleeping in on the weekends, and having long unterrupted dinners with too much wine ....

"Also, since you found someone you could be with for a long time, whether you know it or not, you probably compare other women to her and find most lacking."

We were together 24-32, and REALLY grew apart. When one person changes with age the other doesn't, it's no good.

"I wouldn’t want to go back to the dating scene for anything."

Smart girl. The "good times" in a longterm relationship beat anything that can be found in the singles life. Especially the part where you're just totally comfortable with the other person. Reminds me of this exchange in Pulp Fiction:

Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

329   Red Whine   2006 Jun 29, 6:36am  

U2 Spy On You:

You're obviously a Tom Leykis listener. Without overgeneralizing (which seems to be the biggest point of contention on this thread-deviation/rantfest), there is a lot of truth to what you say, although I think the reasons why are terribly complicated and multifaceted. One thing I've always thought has been that people of both genders gravitate towards something they perceive to be "in demand" and/or difficult to obtain. If it comes easy, it is far less appealing. As a result, people are attracted to the worst types of mates (and overpriced housing, too).

I once worked in a store that sold used audio/video equipment and musical instruments. It never failed that, if we had trouble selling something, we'd put a sign up that said "Last One Left!" or similar, and then it would sell right away.

330   Red Whine   2006 Jun 29, 6:59am  

Rick,
That's hilarious. When I lived in the Bay Area, we called these guys "bus stop millionaires". I met so many guys who told tall tale after tall tale (usually about how rich they were[n't]) -- the girls would fall for it every time, and by the time a couple months went by and they began putting two and two together, the guys had already slept with them and scammed dinners, gifts, etc. off of them. Among the obvious clues:
1) The guys would never have a car (hence the "bus stop" part of their moniker).
2) They usually either lived with their parents or crashed at did the "sofa shuffle" between various friends' houses.
3) They always had some excuse as to why they were cashbroke, most often along the lines of how their countless millions were temporarily smartly invested, tied up in a legal dispute, otherwise unavailable, etc.

But the temporary delusion of having snared a millionaire jetsetter always seemd to cloud the obvious from these girls' view.

331   Red Whine   2006 Jun 29, 7:15am  

Yes, some of my fellow Gen Xers in SoCal are "actors" -- meaning they are waittresses and legal secretaries who go on a few auditions a year, swap headshots, and perform in these freebie local theater productions that are only attended by other non-actors. Every Monday morning they're talking about "box office receipts" for whatever movies had come out, which makes them feel like a participant in the world of Hollywood.

332   astrid   2006 Jun 30, 10:18am  

SQT,

My boyfriend claims to not like bread (not even parmesan artichoke rolls straight from a hot humid oven) and that I have a voice that carries. Cooking for him is kind of a pain, he doesn't eat any fresh vegetables unless they're served in restaurants.

I'm not convinced that women working is a good thing either, especially when this country lacks inexpensive childcare and the people who are having the most kids are the ones least prepared for them. It's so hard to raise well adjusted kids nowadays, even with a full time parent and tons of supervision.

333   B.A.C.A.H.   2006 Jul 1, 2:49pm  

About working moms:

There need not be a tradeoff between expensive childcare & working moms. This is a construct of the paradigm of the nuclear family. There is another paradigm, of extended family, which offers alternatives besides expensive childcare vs working moms.

There's more boxes we can think outside of besides the gotta-be-a-homeowner box. We can also strive to live outside of the nuclear family paradigm. Of course doing so would force many of us (including recent arrivals into Santa Clara County) to make other choices and compromises for example, not crowding ourselves from places all over the world into "Silicon Valley". It is just a value proposition (value as in "one's personal values", not as in money-value-proposition).

334   astrid   2006 Jul 2, 3:19am  

Yeah, his dislike of bread is quite depressing, since I bake bread to decompress. I guess I could give it to others, but it's a shame that I'm the only one eating them fresh from the oven.

He's not high maintenance per se, he just has the tastebud of a five year old. He likes salty, highly seasoned cuts of meat and pizza. He can't stand anything that has a slippery texture or require effort to eat.

335   astrid   2006 Jul 3, 9:44am  

Yeah. If I was making $300K a year, I'd make damned sure that at least half of that gets saved for a rainy day/retirement fund. While $300-500K in BA does not mean the person has gotten it made, they should be able to live frugally and comfortably by renting, and save plenty of money besides.

There's tons of people living on 1/10th of that salary, or less.

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