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49
richwicks
2021 Nov 5, 12:15am
richwicks
2021 Nov 5, 12:15am
Patrick says
I enjoyed doing dog fostering.
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."
When you try to help people, you just get bitten, and it's rare they show any appreciation for your efforts. After a point, I gave up. For some fucked up reason, when you go out of your way to help a person, they view this as your obligation to them, forever.
Some are eager to burden others with their problems. Only a minority of people though, thank God.
I enjoyed doing dog fostering.
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."
When you try to help people, you just get bitten, and it's rare they show any appreciation for your efforts. After a point, I gave up. For some fucked up reason, when you go out of your way to help a person, they view this as your obligation to them, forever.
50
Patrick
2021 Nov 5, 1:05am
Patrick
2021 Nov 5, 1:05am
The ex-CEO of Schwab liked to say "When you go beyond the expected, pretty soon, it's expected."
51
WookieMan
2021 Nov 5, 7:19am
WookieMan
2021 Nov 5, 7:19am
richwicks says
No, he wanted to die. After my BIL in the OP of this thread died he was asking how he did it. Was way too eager to get info. My wife thought the same. He closed the garage about 14 months ago and started the car. My sister found him in time. It for sure was not accidental. He knew alcohol would eventually kill him and that was his goal. He said as much.
While it's sad, my sister had moved on a year ago and I frankly never liked the guy. I'm upset for my nieces specifically. My sister has lupus, single mom, lost most of her hair from it, overweight, so future prospects are not promising in the dating game. She is successful as an attorney. But I also worry for her. My mom is an aging widow and can help for now, but those years are limited. The BIL side of the family is dead weight and live out of the area. I've had to step in on a lot of things on my wife's side of the family and mine. It's a burden, but I know it's the right thing to do.
Maybe I don't see the dysfunction in other people's lives. It's why I only use FB to chat with friends. I honestly believe 90% of what people post is a lie about their life. They're not happy. I am and don't need to show it off to others. No need to compensate for insecurities. Only makes them worse as another friend will surely one up you with a picture of their family at a nicer farm or beach. Yet you have no clue they were all screaming at each other in the car ride there and back. Social media is a killer of people in my world. It's not even politics. It's a complete mind fuck for a lot of people that don't realize reality.
Then I wouldn't consider this suicide - this is accidental alcohol poisoning.
No, he wanted to die. After my BIL in the OP of this thread died he was asking how he did it. Was way too eager to get info. My wife thought the same. He closed the garage about 14 months ago and started the car. My sister found him in time. It for sure was not accidental. He knew alcohol would eventually kill him and that was his goal. He said as much.
While it's sad, my sister had moved on a year ago and I frankly never liked the guy. I'm upset for my nieces specifically. My sister has lupus, single mom, lost most of her hair from it, overweight, so future prospects are not promising in the dating game. She is successful as an attorney. But I also worry for her. My mom is an aging widow and can help for now, but those years are limited. The BIL side of the family is dead weight and live out of the area. I've had to step in on a lot of things on my wife's side of the family and mine. It's a burden, but I know it's the right thing to do.
Maybe I don't see the dysfunction in other people's lives. It's why I only use FB to chat with friends. I honestly believe 90% of what people post is a lie about their life. They're not happy. I am and don't need to show it off to others. No need to compensate for insecurities. Only makes them worse as another friend will surely one up you with a picture of their family at a nicer farm or beach. Yet you have no clue they were all screaming at each other in the car ride there and back. Social media is a killer of people in my world. It's not even politics. It's a complete mind fuck for a lot of people that don't realize reality.
52
clambo
2021 Nov 5, 9:29am
It’s too bad the deceased had kids but no life insurance.
However, that might not be unusual, I don’t know how uncommon that is.
To me that might be selfish.
Maybe he had a $500,000 account somewhere so was “self insured”.
On the subject of Facebook, I am guilty of posting pictures of my “fabulous life”, it’s a form of braggadocio.
I also like the pictures of my friend’s daughters hot friends.
I told a girl last night that I hope to live to 100, no way do I want to compromise my health with booze, cigarettes, and other things. She was pissed off at me for criticizing her friend who comes over with beers and cigarettes and weed.
I called her friend an addict and tough shit.
I’m unable to imagine living without a cup of coffee, but I don’t think I am harming myself.
However, that might not be unusual, I don’t know how uncommon that is.
To me that might be selfish.
Maybe he had a $500,000 account somewhere so was “self insured”.
On the subject of Facebook, I am guilty of posting pictures of my “fabulous life”, it’s a form of braggadocio.
I also like the pictures of my friend’s daughters hot friends.
I told a girl last night that I hope to live to 100, no way do I want to compromise my health with booze, cigarettes, and other things. She was pissed off at me for criticizing her friend who comes over with beers and cigarettes and weed.
I called her friend an addict and tough shit.
I’m unable to imagine living without a cup of coffee, but I don’t think I am harming myself.
53
B.A.C.A.H.
2021 Nov 5, 9:43am
B.A.C.A.H.
2021 Nov 5, 9:43am
WookieMan says
WookieMan says
argh! Besides being my friend, he was a close colleague in a tight group of fewer than ten technologists who worked together for two full decades. Hundreds of patents with our names on them. So, he spent more waking hours with me (and others on the team) than any one else at home or whatever. Some of us, including him, rather than pissing away (*) our RSU money and patent bonuses or whatever, quietly, discreetly saved and invested it.
Being discreet to us meant sharing ideas on saving, investing, tax avoidance, etc., but not ever discussing the magnitude of our nest eggs. That's nobody's business.
(*): like minded colleagues never pissed it away on buying (or renting) coveted SFH's in coveted high-standardized-test-score neighborhoods in The Fortress. Those types may have had something to boast about in their Joy Luck Club Pecking Order, but they were always broke. We knew of a couple of those who got fired for illegal behavior related to the company's property.
Being a bachelor into his late 40's, I suppose with no one at home to talk with, he had to get it off his chest and he shared it with me. (Probably like some of the discreet others of us), he had millions.
Like you, he enjoyed travel, once a year "guy trips" big game hunting in remote wilderness, and once a year scuba diving or something like that, some of those with a female companion.
The high burn rate of the new wifey's expectations stressed him out, particularly when the writing was on the wall that the gravy train gig was nearly up. The younger techies bailed out to other gigs. We old farts just rode the train to the end of the line.
He became completely stressed about it. I knew he was stressed, but I didn't know he was also depressed. I should have seen the signs of it, but it's not something I had on my radar (do now, though). One sign that was obvious to me only when it was too late, was his obsession with travel. In spite of his anxiety about the Burn Rate, in the last 12 months he took his nuclear family to Asia twice, Europe once, Maui once and Caribbean resort once. Every one of these were at the peak, most expensive travel times of the year. When he returned from those he shared how difficult it was to enjoy the trips with a toddler and a schoolager and an uptight spouse.
Dolt that I am, I realized after the fact that those travel were related to depression, "running away" from anxieties at home.
it's why I like travel. I've seen these lives taken way too early and question whether it was because they weren't having fun.
WookieMan says
We don't know people's personal struggles, even if we think we do. Could be a death in the family. Could be something as simple as $1,500 of credit card debt. Could be a spouse
argh! Besides being my friend, he was a close colleague in a tight group of fewer than ten technologists who worked together for two full decades. Hundreds of patents with our names on them. So, he spent more waking hours with me (and others on the team) than any one else at home or whatever. Some of us, including him, rather than pissing away (*) our RSU money and patent bonuses or whatever, quietly, discreetly saved and invested it.
Being discreet to us meant sharing ideas on saving, investing, tax avoidance, etc., but not ever discussing the magnitude of our nest eggs. That's nobody's business.
(*): like minded colleagues never pissed it away on buying (or renting) coveted SFH's in coveted high-standardized-test-score neighborhoods in The Fortress. Those types may have had something to boast about in their Joy Luck Club Pecking Order, but they were always broke. We knew of a couple of those who got fired for illegal behavior related to the company's property.
Being a bachelor into his late 40's, I suppose with no one at home to talk with, he had to get it off his chest and he shared it with me. (Probably like some of the discreet others of us), he had millions.
Like you, he enjoyed travel, once a year "guy trips" big game hunting in remote wilderness, and once a year scuba diving or something like that, some of those with a female companion.
The high burn rate of the new wifey's expectations stressed him out, particularly when the writing was on the wall that the gravy train gig was nearly up. The younger techies bailed out to other gigs. We old farts just rode the train to the end of the line.
He became completely stressed about it. I knew he was stressed, but I didn't know he was also depressed. I should have seen the signs of it, but it's not something I had on my radar (do now, though). One sign that was obvious to me only when it was too late, was his obsession with travel. In spite of his anxiety about the Burn Rate, in the last 12 months he took his nuclear family to Asia twice, Europe once, Maui once and Caribbean resort once. Every one of these were at the peak, most expensive travel times of the year. When he returned from those he shared how difficult it was to enjoy the trips with a toddler and a schoolager and an uptight spouse.
Dolt that I am, I realized after the fact that those travel were related to depression, "running away" from anxieties at home.
54
zzyzzx
2021 Nov 5, 10:11am
zzyzzx
2021 Nov 5, 10:11am
WookieMan says
Does your trip insurance even cover something like this? Did you read the fine print?
My headline sucks and comes across as I'm a dick. I am. But if there's one lesson from all this. If you have a trip planned for over $5k, get the damn insurance. Just do it. You don't know what's going to happen in the future. We could have lost a substantial amount of money, but due to our trip location being in FL during hurricane season, we got the insurance. $110. We could have gotten massively burned by not going if we didn't have the insurance or had to go on a trip when the whole family is in massive mourning mode. No good outcome, but we were able to cancel everything and not cost a dime.
Does your trip insurance even cover something like this? Did you read the fine print?
55
B.A.C.A.H.
2021 Nov 5, 10:19am
B.A.C.A.H.
2021 Nov 5, 10:19am
zzyzzx says
WookieMan says
$5000 massively burned?
That'd approach the deductible for many insurances.
We didn't have Trip Insurance for the two week junket we planned to take a pre-adolescent nephew history buff from the Bay Area to Washington DC and other historical sights along the eastern seaboard in June 2020.
Needless to say, that didn't happen and we wound up forfeiting the price of the flights. No biggie. When we plan such things, losing the money and walking away from a cancellation is part of the planning.
Because if you need to purchase trip cancellation insurance, you really can't afford the travel in the first place.
Just saying.
trip insurance
WookieMan says
If you have a trip planned for over $5k, get the damn insurance. Just do it. ... could have lost a substantial amount of money... could have gotten massively burned
$5000 massively burned?
That'd approach the deductible for many insurances.
We didn't have Trip Insurance for the two week junket we planned to take a pre-adolescent nephew history buff from the Bay Area to Washington DC and other historical sights along the eastern seaboard in June 2020.
Needless to say, that didn't happen and we wound up forfeiting the price of the flights. No biggie. When we plan such things, losing the money and walking away from a cancellation is part of the planning.
Because if you need to purchase trip cancellation insurance, you really can't afford the travel in the first place.
Just saying.
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We were booked for a trip leaving Wednesday as well. First vacation we had insurance for if we cancel. Pretty sure we're going to cancel at this point. It's rather mind numbing how fast life can flip you on your head.
It's been a rather surreal day so far. Please check on anyone you think is off their rocker. I don't want today to happen to anyone else if it can be avoided.