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Need Pithy Slogans


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2007 Sep 6, 1:47am   29,851 views  249 comments

by Patrick   ➕follow (59)   💰tip   ignore  

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I've opened a patrick.net store at http://www.cafepress.com/patrick_net. I'm looking for pithy slogans (and logos, for the artistically inclined) that I can put on stuff like t-shirts and coffee cups.

Examples:

All Your Equity Are Belong To Us

Your Tax Dollars Pay My Mortgage

Heads I Win, Tails You Bail Me Out

Patrick

#housing

« First        Comments 43 - 82 of 249       Last »     Search these comments

43   skibum   2007 Sep 6, 7:03am  

Or one of those short-shorts with writing on the butt:

"I got your asset backed security RIGHT HERE."

44   justme   2007 Sep 6, 7:12am  

A variation:

My ARM reset and all I ('ve) got left is this lousy T-shirt.

45   J Galt   2007 Sep 6, 7:16am  

"It's all fun and games until someone loses a house."

46   Peter P   2007 Sep 6, 7:17am  

Apparently, Apple is "bailing out" iPhone users who had purchased the "asset" at higher price.

47   Peter P   2007 Sep 6, 7:18am  

Front:

Prices always go up...

Back:

..until they go down.

48   astrid   2007 Sep 6, 7:20am  

variation:

Don't worry, you can always refinance...til you can't.

49   sa   2007 Sep 6, 7:31am  

If US doesn't bailout CA, Mexico will!!

50   J Galt   2007 Sep 6, 7:37am  

"You didn't pay for my first marriage. I'm not paying for your house!"

51   DinOR   2007 Sep 6, 7:38am  

sa,

That's a really good angle for bailout supporters!

"Do you want to see California become like a third world country, over run by illegals and abandoned homes being used for meth labs!

Oh.. uh. wait...

No offense!

52   J Galt   2007 Sep 6, 7:41am  

"Don't worry, it's not the end of the world, just your credit score. And we all know that credit scores always go up! (They are't making any more)"

53   DinOR   2007 Sep 6, 7:42am  

J Galt,

But that IS... what every FB/Bailout wannabe is saying!

Perhaps one of the criteria for being B/O eligible is simply asking if these people did a cash out re-fi? Oh, you didn't understand what you signed but you understood how to fleece the equity out of your home?

Next!

54   sfbubblebuyer   2007 Sep 6, 7:42am  

"iPhone price cut = $200
iHome price cut = $200k"

55   Randy H   2007 Sep 6, 7:44am  

@skibum

Or one of those short-shorts with writing on the butt:

“I got your asset backed security RIGHT HERE.”

LOL. Thanks for causing us to pause to imagine the women of Patrick.net thusly adorned.

56   StuckInBA   2007 Sep 6, 7:57am  

Based on one of the best I remember reading on Patrick.net (was it Aethna or Robert Cote?)

"Proud to be sponsoring someone else's retirement ... one payment at a time."

57   sa   2007 Sep 6, 8:00am  

That’s a really good angle for bailout supporters!

Exactly. There were a bunch jumping here few days back.

58   LowlySmartRenter   2007 Sep 6, 8:02am  

I had this really cool math teacher in junior highschool. He taught us much more than math; he taught us a little about the real world. Like, if you can't figure out the discount on a sale item, then you don't really know if you're getting a deal. Or more simply, if you don't how much change to expect at the cash register, then you could easily get gypped. All this he summed up in one mantra:

"The dumb boy pays the bills"

May not work for a Patrick.net logo, but it seems fitting somehow, what with all the "dumb boys" who could not calculate their monthly mortgage payments. It's about the only lesson I remember from junior high, and it has served me quite well.

Ironically, my math teacher's name was Mr. House. I kid you not.

59   J Galt   2007 Sep 6, 8:03am  

"So there's a Priest a Rabbi and a Mortgage Broker floating in a life boat..."

60   J Galt   2007 Sep 6, 8:05am  

"Have you fed your Alligator lately?"

61   J Galt   2007 Sep 6, 8:11am  

I saw this in an article lately:

"Finance, Flip, Repeat"
"Finance, Flip, Repeat"
"Finance, Flip... Uh oh"

62   Paul189   2007 Sep 6, 8:18am  

That's great!

“Have you fed your Alligator lately?”

63   Paul189   2007 Sep 6, 8:19am  

He's very hungry!

64   Paul189   2007 Sep 6, 8:27am  

a bit left of field-

"GOT GOLD?"

65   Jimbo   2007 Sep 6, 8:32am  

Renter

66   Peter P   2007 Sep 6, 8:35am  

Have you liberated your equity lately?

67   Peter P   2007 Sep 6, 8:35am  

Are you NEO?

68   Different Sean   2007 Sep 6, 8:50am  

I wonder if I’d get sued for some kind of copyright infringement if I used the dead wicked witch under her house.

Patrick

You can get a cartoonist to do a house with feet under it, without using an original still image, I guess. Cartoonists seem to be able to do anything...

69   Different Sean   2007 Sep 6, 8:51am  

t-shirts, coffee cups, green hemp shopping bags, sheesh -- let's change the world one coffee at a time...

70   Brand165   2007 Sep 6, 9:37am  

THEY AREN'T MAKING MORE LAND

[ picture of a big medicine capsule or dizzy smiley face ]

BUT THEY'RE MAKING MORE PROZAC!

71   Brand165   2007 Sep 6, 9:38am  

Or maybe boxers that say: No doc, no income, STATED ASSET. :)

72   Different Sean   2007 Sep 6, 9:45am  

how about a tear-down ramshackle timber (out)house of approx 1 b.r. saying "EQUITY, BABY!"

One of the big 4 banks here had a series of ads a year ago saying 'equity, mate!' with a loudmouthed lebanese guy purchasing a boat and a car out of his house equity while his silly caucasian neighbour had NOTHING to show for all that HELOCability. :cry:

73   HARM   2007 Sep 6, 10:08am  

[front]: I made a million in Real Estate!
[back]: Problem is,
I started out with TWO million.

I wanted a T-Shirt, but all I could afford was a lousy house.

I lost a million in Real Estate!
Ask me how!

Wanted: Buyer “with a bucket of money and a box of stupid”!

Broke is the New Black

All your equity are belong to us.

This housing bust is different.

Sell now or be priced in forever.

They aren’t making any more buyers.

We are heading towards a permanently low plateau.

“It’s only when the tide goes out that you can see who’s been swimming naked.”
–Warren Buffett

“When the shoe-shine guy gives you stock tips, it’s time to get out.”
–Joseph Kennedy

“If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem.
If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.”
–J. Paul Getty

“History has not dealt kindly with the aftermath of protracted periods of low-risk premiums.”
–Alan Greenspan

“Asset bubbles tend to last longer and grow larger than any rational person at the time would have thought possible.”
–HARM

Bubblefucius say:
Man who carry risky loan sure
to suffer broken ARM.

Bubblefucius say:
Condo flipping like swift kick in the scrotum.
Both painful and you left holding the bag.

Bubblefucius say:
Low-ball offer today look much better tomorrow,
when you are on knees.

Bubblefucius say:
Housing comps like instant coffee;
both good until the last drop.

74   Allah   2007 Sep 6, 10:09am  

Wow! Look at that! Patrick has a free marketing team

Good idea. I like the way you think; reminds me of Tom Sawyer.:lol:

75   sfbubblebuyer   2007 Sep 6, 10:10am  

You know, it's about time for "howmuchamonth" to come back in vogue.

"Man, my house is losing equity again!"
"Really? Howmuchamonth?"

76   HARM   2007 Sep 6, 10:20am  

“South Florida,’’ he said, “is working off of a totally new economic model than any of us have ever experienced in the past” according to a realtor who predicted that a land shortage will support higher prices indefinitely.”
–New York Times, Trading Places: Real Estate Instead of Dot-Coms, 3/25/05

“Homeownership has become a vehicle for borrowing and leveraging as much as a source of financial security.”
–Former Fed Chairman Paul Volcker, Feb 11, 2005

“Friends don’t let friends buy overpriced houses”
–DinOR

“…capitalism without financial failure is not capitalism at all, but a kind of socialism for the rich”.
–Jim Grant

“Democracy is an upside-down homeowner, a mortgage investor, and a tax-paying renter, voting on what’s for dinner.”
–Home-A-Loan

77   sfbubblebuyer   2007 Sep 6, 10:21am  

"Monthly rent : 2k
Security deposit : 2.5k
Watching smug neighbors evicted by sherriff : Priceless"

78   Allah   2007 Sep 6, 10:34am  

How about just using one of those old mortgage ads, the full ad with the full graphics; you know, the ones that advertise

"1%"
"no money down"
"bad credit ok"
"bankruptcies no problem"

That should remind everyone about the dangers of easy credit.

You could put that on the back.

On the front you can just put a picture of a house with the text "Reduced".

Make the shirt 100% cotton so the house keeps getting smaller every time you wash it.

Eventually, you can give it to your kid to pass on the knowledge; not that the next generation will be as dumb, but you never know! :lol:

79   Allah   2007 Sep 6, 10:38am  

Here is one that targets the sellers with some practical advice:

"If at first you don't sell, reduce, reduce again."

80   Michael Holliday   2007 Sep 6, 11:06am  

Trust me. I'm a realtor.

He who dies with the most foreclosures wins!

ARMed and dangerous!

They don't make land any more. They don't make home loans any more either. Buy a Mortgage Broker.

Nice house. (Bwahahaha!)

81   Brand165   2007 Sep 6, 11:13am  

115% LTV
100% Geenius

82   Allah   2007 Sep 6, 11:24am  

How about:

"You mean my one bedroom bungalow with the sagging roof isn't worth $1M?"

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