patrick.net

30 fucking years of programming and this is the result. Thanks for destroying so many other software companies, Microsoft. You're doing a freaking great job.

Quick, close the door

mmmarvel says

Quick, close the door

Um, there's something wrong with our species when the typical response to this situation is to take a picture instead of dealing with the danger.

I was walking through a local mall and came upon a "Mexican Book Store." Never having seen one before, I went in.
As I was wandering around, a clerk asked if he could help me find something.
I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book about his proposed immigration policy regarding Mexicans?"
The clerk said, "&%$# you, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"

No real need to comment futher

That's a pretty good framing job if I must say so my self.

Tenpoundbass says

That's a pretty good framing job if I must say so my self.

Especially if you can pop the hood open, I don't even see the hinges or a latch.

OTOH to go to all that trouble without being able to pop the hood is what I would expect from a service provided by O care.

Found his exit!

There is an interesting back story to that name. It seems that this was originally called "Soda Springs" until some quack started selling the idea that the mineral waters promoted heath and cured all sorts of diseases. As for the name: He named it "Zzyzx Mineral Springs and Health Resort," touted as "the last word in health" and the last word in the English language -- a gimmick so it would be the last listing in any directory.

Zzyzx: Quack-Founded Town, Last Name In The Atlas

Interesting thanks for sharing that. How is it pronounced?

Tenpoundbass says

How is it pronounced?

From the link: "Zzyzx" (pronounced "Zye - Zex," rhyming with Isaac's)

Straw Man says

That's almost Art. That would be a great Bronze sculpture.

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business, when this FAT, ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind’a cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen."

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Lady Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."

Cost me a busted tooth... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. She said, If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

Cost me a fat lip... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

I was telling a woman in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.

"Really" she said, pushing out her ample chest with a smile, "then go ahead and try."

After about thirty seconds of me fondling her breasts, the woman lost patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

Cost me a kick in the nuts... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

*****************************

I went to a bar last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

"Good legs!" I said! The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! … Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me another 6 stitches... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares?

***************************

rando says

So even birds troll.

Is that true?

Funniest pictures,a collage of the RNC.

Nuke anything for Firefox.

No wonder he bagged Katy Perry.

Dan's favorite pizza place:

zzyzzx says

Splain me

indigenous says

Splain me

The Lonely Island - Dick In A Box

OK, that one is really for programmers