patrick.net

(-) it's
(+) its

RE: student ghetto

You mean the entire city?

Somehow Palo Alto is not a student ghetto. Instead, I call it Bumsville.

Would you like to live next door to a 5 story monstronsity that cloaks your house in shadows?

Meanwhile, these "liberal progressives" would rather drive the extra 2-3 miles each way to go to the Emeryville TJ's instead, despite the extra gas consumption.

For the record, I am the one who wanted to buy a house in the first place, but after doing the math in early 2005 and deciding that buying did not make sense for us, I am now the one who reminds my husband why we are renting rather than buying right now when he starts talking about what/where we could buy. . . .

Meanwhile, these “liberal progressives” would rather drive the extra 2-3 miles each way to go to the Emeryville TJ’s instead, despite the extra gas consumption.

I am under the impression that most vegetarians/vegans are urban white females. So there is a good chance that many of these pro-life (animal lives) activists are actually pro-choice (regarding abortion of human lives).

Which is more hypocritical: anti-growth progressive liberals or pro-choice pro-lifers?

Which is more hypocritical: anti-growth progressive liberals or pro-choice pro-lifers?

Then there's the old-school religious conservative pro-life (anti-abortion) pro-death penalty hypocrites. Or environmentalist SUV drivers (with the "Keep Tahoe Blue" stickers on the back of their Chevy Tahoes...

Wow, touchy crowd.

RE: student ghetto
You mean the entire city?
No, I would say the student ghetto extends about a mile west and south of the campus -- much less so to the north and east. Interesting tidbit, one of the most homogenous areas (read: whitest) in the BA is in Berkeley around Claremont.

That is not the point. I do not like many things but that does not make it right for me to stop everything.
If you do not like what is going on in the neighborhood, you can always leave.
Well, I don't think the people in the neighborhood want to leave as they were there first, and although they did move into a commercial district, they had reason to believe (ie - University Avenue Strategic Plan) that something this large would not be built. Personally, I think the project will go forward, but it will be much better than the original proposal.
Yes, if the alternative is that Kragen’s with it’s ugly parking lot.
Kind sir, Kragen's is a cultural resource (every neighborhood needs an auto parts store, so I will be sad to see it go). That said, the corner does take ugly strip mall to new heights.

Kind sir, Kragen’s is a cultural resource (every neighborhood needs an auto parts store, so I will be sad to see it go).

Excellent point! I'm all for progress, but I do personally hope that Everett and Jones never leaves the San Pablo + University location! mmmm...ribs.

Wow, touchy crowd.

Not touchy, just bored because there's not much discussion going on today's thread. ; )

I think this is one of those things that should have been extensively discussed before marriage. (See also kids, lifetime BMI, chore distribution, proximity to in-laws, retirement funding, openness to "new" experiences, etc.) A pre-nup may not be necessary, but jotting down some notes and agreement in principle (with terms to reopen discussion) seems like sanity to me.

If the house purchase was a horrible (eg you can't afford it) or totally illogical (eg McMansion for 2 people) move and if the other person is absolutely unwilling to compromise - then I'll cut to the chase and start calling divorce lawyers. No point wasting years of my life with an illogical person.

Even in cases where wives are allegedly pushing for houses, the husbands are often at fault because they caved on a critical issue and was not able to argue their point across. Ditto if the gender roles were reversed.

Perhaps pregnant women are different - probably best to discuss the housing issue (and maybe the naming issue) before your formerly lovely significant other insist on putting Spartacus and Bertha in a $1.2M McMansion.

SFWoman Says:

> I find it interesting that in both San Francisco and Berkeley,
> where a majority of people consider themselves progressives,
> the one thing that seems to scare people more than anything
> else is change.

Progressives like change (if things change the way the like them to change) and are open minded (to ideas that they consider good and progressive).

I’m not a “Progressive” or “Conservative” but you have to admire the Conservatives since they come right out and say that they don’t like change and that they are not “open minded”…

FAB,

More often than not, those "conservatives" are not conservative but reactionary (roll back the New Deal) or out and out revolutionary (nation building in Iraq).

astrid,

I think that true Conservatives would change your use of "conservatives" to "neocons masquerading as Conservatives". I wonder what to call the anti-change progressives?

skibum,

My architect friend says he knows of legions of laws should you decide to add a bay to an existing house, but he isn't aware that they are required.

I just went down South Van Ness near about 18th, and there are two new buildings of totally different styles, both with some form of oriel on them. Now I will have to look at new housing around town.

anti-change progressives

Reactionary Revolutionists?

anti-change progressives

Reactionary Revolutionists?

How about just Bay Area "liberals"

Bay Area “liberals”

Perfect.

Bay Area “liberals”
Your forgot the coffee drink:
BA Latte Liberals

@EBGuy,

Of course! We need to hone this a bit, maybe add it to the glossary?

Patrick wrote:

> Some men who write to me complain that they know
> that a house is a horrible deal right now, but their wives
> want a house pronto, no matter what the cost.

It is not just “wives” that want a house it is “potential wives” (since they know that unless a guy already owns a house very few will be able to buy a house in a nice neighborhood and pay off all their credit cards)…

Close to 99% of the women I meet ask questions to find out if I own a home after first meeting me (and will often blow me off to talk to some dorky VC guy who spent 10 years in engineering before going to business school when I tell them I’m a renter)…

BA Latte Liberals

You have BALLs.

FAB,

just curious, how do these highly educated women skillfully find out whether you own a home? Isn't it a bit too vulgar to make one's intention so obvious? How old are they usually?

My experience is, single women care about your pay than your ownership situation, probably I've been out of the dating market for too long.

Sheesh, in the extremely short time when I was dating, I spent first and second and third dates looking for signs of clinical psychosis. And usually, I'll find it by the third date.

Maybe it's just the sort of guys I bump into.

Where do these harpies find their rich dad...ergh, suckers...ergh, eligible bachelors?

SFWoman,

I love your use of the word "vocation".

"Purchasing a house together is probably the #1 goal for a newly wed"

What about those single people who own homes? Wouldn't marriage mean a net addition to houses on the market?

As for #1 goal for newly wed, I can think of many worthier goals to aim for. Not the least, consolidating ones' CDs (of both kinds) and returning unwanted wedding gifts.

SFWoman said:
I think of roots as communities of friends and family that you can rely upon

Oh no, no, no! This is a Confused Realtwhore you're talking about. In his twisted world, you develop "Roots" by paying stupid loads of money for overpriced property, so that the realtwhore can get his commission.

SP

Confused Realtwhore said:
*shrug* that’s just the way it is. if you have a financial stake in your community, you become more involved.

Of course - and if you have a REALLY big financial stake, then you become so involved that you try everything you can to keep people buying houses even when it isn't a good idea to do so. That is probably the first lesson in Realtwhore Skool.

SP

O.K that's about enough. DISCONNECT!

Wow! Did you see the house at 19040 Brook Lane - Very cute place, spacious 3/2 on large lot in a GREAT location, and in Saratoga!! Remodeled, granite and everything. I was sure it would go at least 100K over asking, but after JUST 19 days, it is already reduced by over 50K - AND IS STILL SITTIN ON THE MARKET!

*shrug* I guess as long as people want to sell, there will be sellers. Oh well, I am just going to wait a while longer and enjoy the whether.

Confused Realtwhore

ConfusedRenter Says...

Actually, I don't give a $hit what ConfusedRenter says. His ass needs to be banned.

The biggest thing is waking up 35 or 40 and realizing that life is what happens when you wait.

Actually, the biggest thing is waking up and realizing you're a failed IBanker trying to scrape by as a Realtwhore and thinking the only way to drum up business is to troll a RE Bubble blog.

If you truly believe this, I pity you, for you must be near death.

Everyone knows the #1 goal of newlyweds regardless of age and circumstance is sex.

F'ing hilarious! I guess "CR" is truly confused. "lol" and "I'm shocked!" You guys make me chuckle!

If you ask parents to be, many would refuse to raise a child in a rented apartment or house. Don’t know what’s so bad about it, but so many people just refuse to do so. They want to establish roots.

Family roots are build on shared adventures, commitment and dedication to the upbringing of the children. When Pops is working 2 jobs to pay for the house and the whole family is scrimping at the end of the month to make the mortgage payment, that's the roots of a divorce or an early grave.

I just finished carving pumpkins with the kids in front of a cozy fire. Rental house, sure, but ask my kids if they cared. How are the FB families faring/feeling this ghoulish season? See how deep those family roots go after the foreclosure hits.

skibum Says:

> Actually, I don’t give a $hit what ConfusedRenter says.

It looks like I’m not the only one that has a hard time reading the ConfusedRenter posts…

I don't feel sorry for those guys, because they hitched up with high maintenance women. The Male Ghetto that Silicon Valley has become just makes matters worse for them. It is a poor value proposition.

OO Says:

> FAB, just curious, how do these highly educated
> women skillfully find out whether you own a home?
> Isn’t it a bit too vulgar to make one’s intention so
> obvious? How old are they usually?

It is obvious since most single “women” will keep drilling down to get the info they want. Young “girls” (in their 20’s) just want to have fun (and another free drink) while married “ladies” just want to talk (and often complain about their husbands who have had too much to drink)…

Most SF women in their 30’s on a mission to get married want to know 1. Where you live (and if you own or rent), 2. Where you went to school (and if you went to grad school) and 3. What you do for a living (to estimate how much you make)….

I try to give vague answers, but they will just keep asking questions until they get the information they want:

Q: Where do you live?
A: The City
Q: What part of the city?
A: Not far from Laurel Village
Q: What street?

Q: Where did you go to school?
A: Here in Northern California
Q: Where in Northern California?
A: The East Bay
Q: Where in the East Bay?

Q: What do you do?,,,.

One of the things that attracted me to my wife was her desire to save money. Pretty early on, I bought her a diamond necklace and her response was "I'd rather have Cisco stock!" which really endeared her to me and is a pretty amusing thing to say, in any case.

Unfortunately, we want to save for somewhat different reasons, which may end up causing us trouble down the road, but for now, we are saving together.

I never really understood the whole "peacock" thing, where you pretend like you are richer than you really are, in order to attract a disirable woman. Doesn't this backfire once she figures out you have $40k in credit card debt? I guess for some men, this doesn't really matter, since they have accomplished their goal by then.

Liberals don't really oppose positive (or even only hopefully positive) change. A better word for these kinds of people is reactionary. But I have to admit that the Bay Area sure has a lot of people who oppose change and vote Democratic. Sometimes they have been on the right side of history, like when they stopped the Urban Redevelopers from tearing down beautiful old victorians and building concrete bunkers, like they did in the lower Fillmore, to when they stopped Caltrans from building a freeway right through Golden Gate park.

But this is an example of where they are wrong. Berkeley needs more people living downtown. I was a Cal student and this corner in particular could use a facelift.

Luckily for me, I met my wife long ago, when we were both very young and just out of college-poor-and-debt-ridden. When we moved in together we were renters in Chicago and the only people who owned were older boomers pretty much. Even after we got married we didn't even think about buying, only about paying off our loans and saving. It seems like today every 25 year old is talking about "needing" to buy a condo before they're priced out forever.

We did the first-home stretch thing, the upgrade, the nesting, the de-nesting purge (ironically which happened shortly after our son came). And now we rent. I like to complain about how much renting sucks for us, but it's been pretty tolerable. Probably because my wife and I both are on the same page. I just think I'm lucky to have met a good woman early enough for us to have both made the journey from the beginning together. It's a lot easier to ride through rough spots when we've both weathered all the same storms.

FAB,

that is hilarious. I usually shy away from these women right away, and thank god when I met my wife, we were both dirt poor students, and she is from a richer family than me. if there was a gold digger in our family, it should have been me.

I also have to say that these girls are not very smart. A better way to do would be:

Date 1:
Gal: Where do you live?
FAB: City
Gal: Gosh, I heard that rent is going up these days in the City, did you have a hike in rent?
FAB: I don't think the rent hike is going to last.
Gal: My landlord is nice, because I kept writing him personal notes to keep him on good terms, what about yours?
FAB: Writing notes sounds like a good tactic.
Gal: (thinking to herself, this sucks, can never squeeze anything out of this chap)

Date 2
Gal: Where did you go to school?
FAB: East Bay
Gal: Oh, you must have gone to UCB, I have a pal, Joe Schmuck, who went to Haas, happen to know him?
FAB: Haas is a good school, your pal went to grad school or undergrad at Haas?
Gal: He did his MBA there, I heard that the starting pay is about $160K, is that true?
FAB: That sounds like a lot of money.
Gal: (this guy is hopeless, sounds like a dick).

:-)