What are you saying, he beat off the cops? Did he beat the rap as well? In the old days, cops were referred to as "Dicks." In that case, we could say he was beating the Dicks while he was beating his dick.
I think this is actually true. Crime is necessary for the servants of the rich to be able to afford housing anywhere within commuting distance of the rich.
And so within a few miles of every super-rich urban area there is crime-ridden area where the maids and gardeners live. Atherton has Redwood City and East Palo Alto, for example.
Without crime keeping those rents down by keeping out the hipsters, the rich would not be able to have servants at all. Unacceptable.
Is possession of dick pics illegal? Can't consenting adults send pics to each other? Now, if some were underage, that's a different animal. But how would you verify?
#humor