patrick.net

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-baker-sued-for-refusing-to-write-trump-won-message-on-cake

lol what are the 4 word supposed to be? "will you marry me" falls short..

I should have counted. I just assumed the number of letters was the same.

Rb6d says

Without zero hesitation.

I raise you an irregardless….

Rb6d says

She's bitter because their "national" team was defeated by a school-level team of 15 y.o. boys. And not just beaten - fucking destroyed with a 5-2 score.

richwicks says

mell says

lol what are the 4 word supposed to be? "will you marry me" falls short..

"Will you marry me honey?" works but I don't think that's the right answer.

Because it's five words.

FuckCCP89 says

richwicks says

mell says

lol what are the 4 word supposed to be? "will you marry me" falls short..

"Will you marry me honey?" works but I don't think that's the right answer.

Because it's five words.

Yeah, I realized that, which is why I deleted my post. :P

https://babylonbee.com/news/house-votes-to-replace-all-confederate-statues-with-busts-of-chairman-mao

Hopefully not his last stand.

(I'm not quite at that extreme yet, honestly we barely began to fight and we couldn't expect one guy in one branch surrounded by bureaucrats trying to manage him to do it all by himself in a few years)

Tenpoundbass says

I think "mansplaning" as feminists understand it, is when a woman says something that is incomprehensible to a group, but you figure out what the fuck she was trying to say, and explain it in a way the rest of the group understands it.

As an engineer, in groups, often somebody proposes an idea which most people don't get, but sometimes I pick up on, and I'll say something "you mean do X, Y, and Z using A, B and C?" It's partially to allow ME to understand their thinking by rephrasing the proposal or idea. I know how hard it is to describe your concept because you tend to make assumptions that people have the same knowledge and background that you do. Often they don't.

Now with women in such a group discussion, I just keep my mouth shut.

There are LOTS of very competent female engineers - they are far outnumbered by male engineers, but I'm not going to help them anymore.

Now if a MALE engineer says something that is incomprehensible to most of the group, I'll step in. I'm a sexist now and no longer treat engineers equally and have been forced to act differently based on their sex.

Feminists, hate women. They undermine them constantly. Now if I treat engineers the same regardless of sex, I'm called sexist. So now, I treat them differently. My first responsibility is to myself.

Now if I treat people the same regardless of race, I'm called racist.

That sounds wrong.

Rb6d says

Someone beat the Babylon Bee to that one:



https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-psaki-to-go-door-to-door-on-bikes-asking-if-you-have-a-moment-to-talk-about-getting-vaccinated

After falling short of his vaccination goals this month, the Biden Administration has announced a new effort to encourage people to get vaccinated. President Biden and Press Secretary Jen Psaki are now riding across the country on bicycles, going door-to-door to spread the good news.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Dr. Fauci, and the salvation of Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson?" said Psaki as a local homeowner opened his door. "We want you to know how you can be happy and secure forever. Would you like to talk a little more about this?"

According to sources, the elderly homeowner slammed the door in their faces-- causing Biden to angrily ring the doorbell over and over. ...

Psaki then quickly calmed the disgruntled Biden with a choco-choco chip ice cream cone and led him down the sidewalk to knock on the next door.

The pair will be touring the entire United States until everyone is either vaccinated or added to a secret FBI list as a possible insurrectionist.

Patrick says

After falling short of his vaccination goals this month, the Biden Administration has announced a new effort to encourage people to get vaccinated. President Biden and Press Secretary Jen Psaki are now riding across the country on bicycles, going door-to-door to spread the good news.

https://www.theepochtimes.com/mkt_morningbrief/arizona-lawmaker-advises-people-to-put-up-no-trespassing-signs-to-deter-door-to-door-vaccine-checks_3893470.html?utm_source=patrick.net&utm_medium=patrick.net&utm_campaign=patrick.net

Arizona Lawmaker Advises People to Put up ‘No Trespassing’ Signs to Deter Door-to-Door Vaccine Checks
BY ALLAN STEIN July 8, 2021

At age 61, Daniel J. Miller of Parks, Arizona, says there’s no way he’s ever going to take the COVID-19 shot—even if the government comes knocking at his door.

https://babylonbee.com/news/7-clever-ways-to-ward-off-bidens-door-to-door-vaccine-evangelists

The vaccine door-to-door evangelists are coming for you! Luckily, we at The Babylon Bee are extremely anti-social, so we've got some great ways to scare off the vaccine missionaries trying to get you to accept Dr. Fauci as your lord and savior.

Try one of these and let us know how it goes!*

1. Answer the door while casually cleaning your AR-15. - "Greetings, agent of the government! What can I do for you today?"

2. Wear a MAGA hat. - Works every time.

3. Sneeze violently and say you're starting to lose your sense of taste. - "Does this apple taste like anything to you? Everything is starting to taste bland to me..."

4. Smear sacrificial ice cream on your doorposts to appease Biden. - It worked for the Israelites.

5. Show them your fully assembled LEGO Capitol Building set. - A true sign that you're a deranged terrorist -- they'll run away screaming.

6. Smile and offer to shake their hand. - Nothing scares the pro-SCIENCE crowd like interacting like a normal human being.

7. If all else fails, release the hounds. - Hopefully you've had your "Release the Hounds" button installed already.

*The Babylon Bee is not responsible for any death, dismemberment, or imprisonment in a reeducation camp resulting from these techniques.

CUBA—The Biden administration has finally released a statement on the uprising in Cuba. According to officials, the Cuban people are really, really, mad about Georgia's voter ID laws and have taken to the streets to protest it.

"We are inspired by the Cuban people's courageous stand against the Republicans' evil voter suppression laws in Georgia," said WHA Assistant Secretary Julie Chung. "We share their righteous indignation, and encourage protestors to remain peaceful at all times."

Official state sources monitoring things on the ground said protestors are waving giant Stacy Abrams signs and chanting things like "LIBERTAD! LIBERTAD!"-- which roughly translates to mean "End the Republican party's evil voter ID requirement which is exactly the same thing as Jim Crow!"

Protestors were also seen chanting "¡Odiamos el Comunismo!", which Biden officials confirmed means "We love the Cuban healthcare system, which is a model for the U.S. to follow!"

To help ensure things remain peaceful, Biden has called the Cuban dictator to recommend building a protective fence around the Communist Party headquarters.

https://babylonbee.com/news/inspiring-cubans-rising-up-to-protest-georgias-voter-id-laws