Need Patnetters Help - Life Situation

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Need Patnetters Help - Life Situation

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2022 Mar 6, 6:42pm 10,477 views 167 comments

by porkchopXpress ➕follow (1) 💰tip ignore

My wife and two high-schoolers currently live in the San Diego area renting a house. Since getting a new job last Fall that's fully remote, I've been pushing to move out of CA for more freedom, lower taxes, and to avoid the new vaccine mandate for K-12 students. My wife had the jab and is fine with our sons getting it to stay in CA, but I'm adamantly against it for all of the obvious reasons...they've even had Covid already.

We all decided that the Nashville area (i.e., Franklin/Brentwood) is where we'd all agree to move this Summer, but the house prices are INSANE. We've only ever rented and she will NOT agree to moving to another rental; she wants to buy. So, I'm stuck between stretching ourselves a bit to buy a $1.4M home in Nashville area, or staying in our current rental but making our boys get the vaccine to stay in school. My boys are already bummed about the thought of switching high schools, so they'd be willing to get the vaccine to stay in their current school. I feel like I'm alone in fighting against the easier path, which is clearly staying put in our current place until they finish school.

What would you guys do?

P.S. Given the no state income tax and the down payment I've saved up, I could theoretically make a $1.4M work but it's beyond what I'd prefer to pay. I'm also scared shitless that housing is going to crash, but what if it doesn't?

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AmericanKulak 2022 Mar 6, 7:52pm

Save_Ukraine says

lets say you buy in Nashville and the market dips in two years? so fucking what? you have a house and a happy family. Long term you are going to be just fine and dont have to deal with all the shit that comes with renting.

Unless there's a Depression and $1.4M becomes an $800k house. $10/gallon gas will certainly do it.

GNL 2022 Mar 6, 7:52pm

I feel very bad for you. Seriously, good luck.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 7:54pm

Save_Ukraine says

AmericanKulak says
I think you should say "Rent Two more years and you won't regret it."

ouch, I have heard that too many times. Know a guy who sold his house for 500k in Socal a few years ago. He talked his wife into the "market is going to crash soon". She agreed back then which she deeply regrets. Now she posts on social media how their house >>they no longer own<< is worth over 1M today. They still rent. Imagine the market dips. You honestly think their house will lose 50% in value anytime soon??

People will always tell you, "crash soon", 'two more years". The truth is, nobody can time the market. Nobody knows. If you would have asked people in 2019 what will the inflation rate be in 2022 they would have told you 1%, 2%, 3%. Nobody saw 7.5% coming again in our lifetime.

lets say you buy in Nashville and the market dips in two years? so fucking what? you have a house...

Very true. This is why I can't argue that housing is going to crash. I do think as long as I can afford the house and we're relatively happy with it, just stay there and ride it all out.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 7:55pm

komputodo says

the truth is it sounds like you should just sit back and go for the ride because your wife seems to be running things.

Hardly. If my wife were running things, we'd be staying right where we're at, sons getting the clot shot, us buying a house here, and retiring here. I'm the only one pushing to leave California, and it will happen if I want it to. It's just that the specific area we had our eyes and hearts on is ridiculously expensive, so it has thrown a major wrench in my master plan.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 7:57pm

WineHorror1 says

I feel very bad for you. Seriously, good luck.

Thanks man. I think about the shit going down around the world and my problems are miniscule. I just have to keep things in perspective, and ensure that my sons getting the jab is an absolutely dealbreaker no matter which path we go down.

AmericanKulak 2022 Mar 6, 7:58pm

porkchopexpress says

Hardly. If my wife were running things, we'd be staying right where we're at, buying a house here, and retiring here. I'm the only one pushing to leave California, and it will happen if I want it to. It's just that the specific area we had our eyes and hearts on is ridiculously expensive, so it has thrown a major wrench in my master plan.

Distraction might be the answer. Offer to take her on a nice vacation tour of Florida, Texas, Georgia, etc. with 4-star hotel weekends... to "be sure of all the options".

San Antonio is nice, though getting Austinized. The riverwalk is amazing, and tons of culture stuff. Saint Augustine is another choice - you get a real Fall with some cool weather but not many actual Cold days, and they have quite a bit of cool things, plus Orlando with world class dining and other things is just an hour or two away, plus Daytona which is more party hearty.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 7:58pm

AmericanKulak says

Save_Ukraine says
lets say you buy in Nashville and the market dips in two years? so fucking what? you have a house and a happy family. Long term you are going to be just fine and dont have to deal with all the shit that comes with renting.

Unless there's a Depression and $1.4M becomes an $800k house. $10/gallon gas will certainly do it.

I know, but can I continue to live my life that way? I want to own and I'm so tired of renting for so many goddamn years, but we all know the markets are fucking nuts and we're SO due for a recession.

AmericanKulak 2022 Mar 6, 8:00pm

porkchopexpress says

I know, but can I continue to live my life that way? I want to own and I'm so tired of renting for so many goddamn years, but we all know the markets are fucking nuts and we're SO due for a recession.

That's an angle. Ask her what would happen if the job market tanked.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 8:04pm

AmericanKulak says

porkchopexpress says
I know, but can I continue to live my life that way? I want to own and I'm so tired of renting for so many goddamn years, but we all know the markets are fucking nuts and we're SO due for a recession.

That's an angle. Ask her what would happen if the job market tanked.

She's just confident I would always have a high-paying job. The fact is I'm in a very high demand technology field and would likely always have a job, so I'm fairly confident I'd be earning.

Worst case scenario, we foreclose. If things get that bad, I'd likely have more things to worry about such as nuclear war or smallpox pandemic.

komputodo 2022 Mar 6, 8:04pm

Ceffer says

I'd take my kids out of school for a year and eat beans every night before having them take those shots. Your wife sounds like the type who would blame you either way. If you let them have shots, and their health suffers from it, she will blame you. If you insist they don't take the shots, she'll blame you for the results to a few life conveniences and opportunities. Whining and shrieking AFTER the fact of the jabs is too little too late. Also, there is a serious ethical question about how you deal with your own children knowing what you know when you let them take the jab but you had the opportunity to spare them.

Nobody knows where to pay for a fake jab? Maybe a local clinic in a poorer part of town.

RWSGFY 2022 Mar 6, 8:06pm

File for a religious exemption. I think it's the best path forward.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 8:15pm

RWSGFY says

File for a religious exemption. I think it's the best path forward.

I've thought about that. I did it for my new job and avoided the jab, but I'm not sure how CA schools would take an exemption, but it's definitely an option.

34 mostly reader 2022 Mar 6, 8:18pm

porkchopexpress says

mostly reader says
Quick Zillow check shows that Nashville is a lot cheaper than, say, Bay Area. 1.4mil buys a lot of house. Is it a hard number? I'd think that you may be able to lower it, perhaps a lot, without sacrificing your current living conditions. Or is it not so?
Look at Franklin and Brentwood, specifically houses zoned to Ravenwood HS or Brentwood HS.

Everyone is bidding up homes like crazy. One is listed for $1.35M and has been bid up to $1.6M just in the first weekend. It’s nuts.

RC2006 2022 Mar 6, 8:20pm

RWSGFY says

File for a religious exemption. I think it's the best path forward.

This and if that doesn't work I know it's illegal but could you just make some fake vacine paperwork up, I mean come on its ok for illegals.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 8:22pm

RC2006 says

RWSGFY says
File for a religious exemption. I think it's the best path forward.

This and if that doesn't work I know it's illegal but could you just make some fake vacine paperwork up, I mean come on its ok for illegals.

True, but this DOJ could throw me in the brig if they find out.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 8:24pm

mostly reader says

Filters: Brentwood, Sold, 900K-1.3mil, Build in 2000+, 1/4acre+, 3+bd, 2+ ba

316 Results. Many of them recent.

Although the same filter changed to "For Sale" only showed 1 result. That 1 result was right under 1 mil but "coming soon".

Not sure what to make of it, and not sure about schools. Perhaps that's where the catch is.

Your filter is for sold homes. For sale? Much different story. There are a few options we're looking at, but the prices and inventory are ridiculous.

38 mostly reader 2022 Mar 6, 8:31pm

porkchopexpress says

Your filter is for sold homes. For sale? Much different story. There are a few options we're looking at, but the prices and inventory are ridiculous.

Yes, I mentioned that part. Does it mean that the market it going through a drastic and rapid boom? Or perhaps there's something seasonal going on and there'll be more inventory going forward? What do the agents say?

Patrick 2022 Mar 6, 8:38pm

I would absolutely refuse under all conditions to let kids be injected with the experimental gene-modifying thing.

The injection is not reversible.

uploads/2022/03/1_b3c9_46a4cd9094ca7c0576e5dc51982797fc_500x0

uploads/2022/03/1_b3c9_46a4cd9094ca7c0576e5dc51982797fc_500x0

And the truth is already out.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 8:39pm

mostly reader says

porkchopexpress says
Your filter is for sold homes. For sale? Much different story. There are a few options we're looking at, but the prices and inventory are ridiculous.
Yes, I mentioned that part. Does it mean that the market it going through a drastic and rapid boom? Or perhaps there's something seasonal going on and there'll be more inventory going forward? What do the agents say?

Ok. The agent says this is the most abnormal market he's ever seen. He admits interest rates are rising, but he doesn't entirely believe that's going to drive prices down...granted, he's a realtor.

A TON outsiders are moving into this area to escape blue states and it's a highly sought-after zone because of Franklin and the schools. It's elite. There's a reason the rich are buying up this place.

komputodo 2022 Mar 6, 8:46pm

porkchopexpress says

RC2006 says
RWSGFY says
File for a religious exemption. I think it's the best path forward.

This and if that doesn't work I know it's illegal but could you just make some fake vacine paperwork up, I mean come on its ok for illegals.
True, but this DOJ could throw me in the brig if they find out.

you dont need fake paperwork, get a fake jab....pay $500 for it.....make it worth their while.in a small clinic..think out of the box for once in your life

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 8:48pm

komputodo says

porkchopexpress says
RC2006 says
RWSGFY says
File for a religious exemption. I think it's the best path forward.

This and if that doesn't work I know it's illegal but could you just make some fake vacine paperwork up, I mean come on its ok for illegals.
True, but this DOJ could throw me in the brig if they find out.

you dont need fake paperwork, get a fake jab....pay $500 for it.....make it worth their while.in a small clinic..think out of the box for once in your life

For once in my life? No need to be a dick about it, but thanks for the idea.

43 mostly reader 2022 Mar 6, 8:58pm

porkchopexpress says

Ok. The agent says this is the most abnormal market he's ever seen. He admits interest rates are rising, but he doesn't entirely believe that's going to drive prices down...granted, he's a realtor.

A TON outsiders are moving into this area to escape blue states and it's a highly sought-after zone because of Franklin and the schools. It's elite. There's a reason the rich are buying up this place.

In that case, here's what I think.

Instead of move vs. stay issue, reframe it into buy vs. rent issue in which move vs. stay is a smaller variable. This is your starter home, right? You do not currently own in California, right? This bit is important. Because prop 13 and other whatnots which make it more difficult to leave if you already dropped an anchor here.

If you haven't dropped that proverbial anchor, and you expect that this house will be a substantial part of your wealth, then look for a market with biggest growth potential. California is not longer that IMHO. It's expensive in California, and it still goes up, but so does inflation. Many markets nationwide way outperform CA in terms of growth. I just learned that Nashville is one of them.

If you look to buy, and that house is a substantial part of your net worth, and your employment doesn't depend on you being in San Diego, then moving is totally justified. Financially, that is. With or without your vaccine concerns.

Now, weather is a different thing. Leaving San Diego would be tough. Because weather.

fdhfoiehfeoi 2022 Mar 6, 9:00pm

porkchopexpress says

We've only ever rented and she will NOT agree to moving to another rental; she wants to buy.

As someone who has moved out of state before, that's is patently stupid, but don't say that. You don't know the area, and no matter how much research you do, you won't have enough info to buy before you move. Rent for at least a year so you can have an idea of where you want to buy, then buy.

On the last point, alot of people thought it wouldn't crash in '08. If economy doesn't crash this year, I'd be really surprised. Too many indicators that it will. I've been passively looking at El Centro and Yuma, and I actually see rents starting to stabilize, or go down. Have you considered Yuma as an alternative? 2.5 hours away, and Arizona has no shot mandate. Although neither does California. What's currently in place requires FDA approval, which seems really doubtful given what's transpired. There is another bill that wouldn't require FDA approval introduced in January, but I haven't heard that's passed, and again, seems doubtful.

You will save money if you move, but it's an adjustment, so make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, things that will actually impact you.

fdhfoiehfeoi 2022 Mar 6, 9:03pm

Save_Ukraine says

Renting long term is financial suicide in places like Socal.

We've rented for 14 years in SoCal(mostly in houses). Have never paid as much as a mortgage would have cost us. Logan, is that you?

komputodo 2022 Mar 6, 9:06pm

porkchopexpress says

For once in my life? No need to be a dick about it, but thanks for the idea.

well you act like its an insurmountable problem like metastasized cancer in your whole body....hell, this vax thing is hardly a speedbump...if you are uncomfortable asking around, get one of your buddies to do it..i'd find a POC nurse in a poorer clinic......one that could use another $1000 cash.....theres a lot of those

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 9:07pm

mostly reader says

In that case, here's what I think.

Instead of move vs. stay issue, reframe it into buy vs. rent issue in which move vs. stay is a smaller variable. This is your starter home, right? You do not currently own in California, right? This bit is important. Because prop 13 and other whatnots which make it more difficult to leave if you already dropped an anchor here.

If you haven't dropped that proverbial anchor, and you expect that this house will be a substantial part of your wealth, then look for a market with biggest growth potential. California is not longer that IMHO. It's expensive in California, and it still goes up, but so does inflation. Many markets nationwide way outperform CA in terms of growth. I just learned that Nashville is one of them.

If you look to buy, and that house is a substantial part of your net worth, and your employment doesn't depend on you being in San Diego, then moving is totally justified. Financially, that is. With or without your vaccin...

We don't own a house, so no Prop 13 anchor. We also have no family here. The only thing keeping us here is inertia, weather, and our kids being in a high school that they like. So as you can see, leaving California shouldn't be a huge hit to us.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 9:11pm

NuttBoxer says

porkchopexpress says
We've only ever rented and she will NOT agree to moving to another rental; she wants to buy.

As someone who has moved out of state before, that's is patently stupid, but don't say that. You don't know the area, and no matter how much research you do, you won't have enough info to buy before you move. Rent for at least a year so you can have an idea of where you want to buy, then buy.

On the last point, alot of people thought it wouldn't crash in '08. If economy doesn't crash this year, I'd be really surprised. Too many indicators that it will. I've been passively looking at El Centro and Yuma, and I actually see rents starting to stabilize, or go down. Have you considered Yuma as an alternative? 2.5 hours away, and Arizona has no shot mandate. Although neither does California. What's currently in place requires FDA approval, which seems really doubtful given what's transpired. There is ...

California has a mandate for 16y/o or older. They're just waiting on FDA approval for younger, which I believe will happen since they're all corrupt anyway. Besides, I can't wait around for when it happens and then have them subjected to it. I need lead time to up and move away.

We're not really interested in AZ...too, too dry. We need to have a sizeable city and int'l airport max 30-45 minutes away.

I agree on feeling like there's a crash coming. We're even seeing signs in the stock market. I just wish I could wait a year and see what happens, but this fucking mandate. Plus, it's much harder to move my kids with only a year left in school vs now where they have 2-3 years left in HS. So, it's either move this Summer or wait until they're done with HS in order to minimize the damage to them socially.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 9:13pm

NuttBoxer says

Save_Ukraine says
Renting long term is financial suicide in places like Socal.

We've rented for 14 years in SoCal(mostly in houses). Have never paid as much as a mortgage would have cost us. Logan, is that you?

Same, but I wish I had bought in 2013 when we moved to SD, but we couldn't afford it back then. Then when prices jumped up, I thought I'd wait for the next dip, which never happened because the Fed went apeshit on free money. What can ya do

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 9:16pm

Thanks everyone for your comments. You've given a lot for me to think about, and it's nice to be validated that I'm not crazy when I'm the only one standing up for logic.

fdhfoiehfeoi 2022 Mar 6, 9:18pm

porkchopexpress says

California has a mandate for 16y/o or older.

Sorry, was thinking about my kids situation. I'm not surprised California introduced another bill in January, told my wife they will hold onto this shit longer than most. What about home-school? At least they'd still get to see their friends.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 9:18pm

komputodo says

porkchopexpress says
For once in my life? No need to be a dick about it, but thanks for the idea.

well you act like its an insurmountable problem like metastasized cancer in your whole body....hell, this vax thing is hardly a speedbump...if you are uncomfortable asking around, get one of your buddies to do it..i'd find a POC nurse in a poorer clinic......one that could use another $1000 cash.....theres a lot of those

I didn't mean to seem like it's an insurmountable problem, just a tough situation to be in. It'll get it figured out, but I wanted advice from other smart brains. Personally, I'd just rather get out of dodge instead of finagling the tyrannical system in CA. If it's not one thing, it'll be another. And who knows what CA will do when we have our next plandemic, which we all know is going to happen per Willy Gaytes

fdhfoiehfeoi 2022 Mar 6, 9:23pm

porkchopexpress says

Same, but I wish I had bought in 2013 when we moved to SD, but we couldn't afford it back then.

We looked in '11, but even then, couldn't go see a house, think about it, then make an offer. We won't be rushed into buying, so we passed. Don't regret it at all. We've been able to choose how much to spend or save, never had to pay for repairs, and are paying one of the lowest rents we've ever paid, in Alpine, which I love WAY more than the city. We've used the extra money to put our daughter in a private school that didn't require a mask all year, sent her to camp to make up for her missing it last year(awesome!), and have taken trips to Florida, Arizona, and Michigan. And we're going to Big Sur in April.

Don't spend so much on housing you never have money for living.

porkchopXpress 2022 Mar 6, 9:25pm

NuttBoxer says

Don't spend so much on housing you never have money for living.

Totally agree. It has been my mantra. Keep my fixed costs low so I can flex with variable and have $ for kids' programs, vacations, high quality food, etc.

55 mell 2022 Mar 6, 9:44pm

Novavax announced their Phase 3 trial success (pediatric expansion) for kids 12 and up in February, they will apply for authorization in this quarter. If your kids are old enough or your wife can wait til they're 12, then you can go with that jab as a much safer alternative, in case you can't convince her to move out of state and must jab.

Bitcoin 2022 Mar 6, 9:49pm

NuttBoxer says

We looked in '11, but even then, couldn't go see a house, think about it, then make an offer. We won't be rushed into buying, so we passed

Holy shit, you almost bought a house in 2011 and rent since then?!

WOW. I am sry. My house bought in 2020 appreciated by 400K already. Imagine the equity gain if you'd bought in 2011 in the greater SD area.

Bitcoin 2022 Mar 6, 9:53pm

NuttBoxer says

Have never paid as much as a mortgage would have cost us

Are you planning to rent until you die? Rents ever increase, a mortgage stays the same or goes down if you refinance. Meanwhile your house value went through the moon in the last 14 years. Your mortgage on that 2011 house price would be a joke compared to your rent in 2022. I am sry man. Thats a really sad story.

RC2006 2022 Mar 6, 10:01pm

porkchopexpress says

komputodo says
porkchopexpress says
For once in my life? No need to be a dick about it, but thanks for the idea.

well you act like its an insurmountable problem like metastasized cancer in your whole body....hell, this vax thing is hardly a speedbump...if you are uncomfortable asking around, get one of your buddies to do it..i'd find a POC nurse in a poorer clinic......one that could use another $1000 cash.....theres a lot of those
I didn't mean to seem like it's an insurmountable problem, just a tough situation to be in. It'll get it figured out, but I wanted advice from other smart brains. Personally, I'd just rather get out of dodge instead of finagling the tyrannical system in CA. If it's not one thing, it'll be another. And who knows what CA will do when we have our next plandemic, which we all know is going ...

With all thats going on in CA the vax mandates were not even our biggest concern when we bailed. I just didn't want my kids growing up there. The writing is on the walls and if there are any failures in the US CA will be one of the ground zeros.

With mandates in CA is it also enforced with private schools?

GNL 2022 Mar 6, 11:32pm

porkchopexpress says

WineHorror1 says
I feel very bad for you. Seriously, good luck.
Thanks man. I think about the shit going down around the world and my problems are miniscule. I just have to keep things in perspective, and ensure that my sons getting the jab is an absolutely dealbreaker no matter which path we go down.

When you have children, this is your most important motivator in life. I have paid some price while raising my 2 girls. I will always know that I did the best I could for them because I put their wellbeing first. No, I did not do everything the right way but I know my intentions and actions were always believed, at the time, to be the right decision.

joshuatrio 2022 Mar 7, 4:32am

I think when you leave CA, you'll feel significantly less stressed and be blown away at how different the world is, vs how California perceives it lol.

Franklin TN is suppose to be a good area. I have friends out that way and they love it. Food in Nashville is outstanding too! Check out Chattanooga as well. Smaller city, cool area and probably a bit cheaper.

Buy now or catch a falling knife if it collapses? That's a tough one. We have been looking for a second home and have seen things flatine and have been seeing price cuts where we are looking in Florida. It's stupid expensive right now, and most of my friends are just sitting on the fence right now as they are beginning to refuse to participate.

For what it's worth, my bro in law is a realtor. He is trying to convince my parents to sell now, rent and then buy again when it gets cheaper. My parents are staying out but I wonder if even he sees a crash coming.

Al_Sharpton_for_President 2022 Mar 7, 5:38am

Check out Maryville, TN, a suburb of Knoxville. Vonore, and thereabouts if you want to live near the water.

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