patrick.net

Hircus says

IMO the pic on the right looks fake. The shadows are odd the way his arm casts downwards onto the wall, and so does her head, but not her body or legs onto the floor.

I hope it is fake. That would be comforting to know, or at least believe.

Truck gets blown around by tornado, blown upright again, drives away.




https://notthebee.com/article/this-is-a-story-about-a-red-truck-and-a-tornado-i-cannot-believe-they-drove-away-like-that?source=patrick.net

Here's that truck that was twirled, flipped, flipped back up and drove away in the Texas tornado. The winner IS: Chevy Silverado!

How does she know? Is she a biologist?

RWSGFY says

knowing CA they'll probably raise taxes for this one too and then give it to black people claiming that the chair is white and hence has white privilege.

Will Smith's favorite song: Gimme Back My Wig. He went and slapped Stevie's gravestone. Sorry for Bad Tube, Pat. "I'm gonna slap your mout from this Popeye's into the Popeye's cross town!"

https://youtu.be/_aHzbptF8ro?source=patrick.net

RWSGFY says

This is an easy rebuild. It will only take 5 million in taxes, ten years, 10,000 crates of donuts and coffee, and ten teams of hung over Meskins.

Y'all ready for some Oompa Loompa toes?

Tenpoundbass says

Y'all ready for some Oompa Loompa toes?

That's some Goddamn-nasty hammer-toe. Channeling Mr. T "I pity the fool!"

After the TSA agents get a hold of it, it'll hold 30 pens and they'll call it the Millennial.

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place and as he shows her around his apartment.

She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of teddy bears.
She is quite impressed by his sensitive side but doesn't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking. After awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one. Maybe he could be the future father of my children!'

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.

He responds warmly, they continue to kiss, the passion builds and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, and more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'well, how was it?'

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes and says:

(you’re gonna love this)….

'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf.'

Crickets

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Man, that is cold!!