patrick.net

This is pure comedy gold:

Dmitry Vyatkin, a lawmaker in Putin’s United Russia party, raised eyebrows with a speech Wednesday claiming it’s “easy” to decide to head to the frontline in Ukraine–but arguing that he and other lawmakers can’t do it because they’re too busy explaining the “importance” of the war to people.

They even pranked the Putler's mouthpiece's son and failed miserably - HE'S EAGER TO GO STORM KYIV RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!

The family of Putin’s spokesperson, Dmitry Peskov, was also put on the spot over their apparently untouchable status during the mobilization.

A reporter for Popular Politics, a news program created by allies of imprisoned Kremlin foe Alexei Navalny, phoned up Peskov’s son, Nikolai, during a Wednesday broadcast and impersonated a military commissar, telling him he was being called up for military service in accordance with the mobilization.

“You must understand, if you know I am Mr. Peskov, how entirely wrong it is for me to be there,” Nikolai responded. “Basically, I will decide this on a different level.”

ZipperTits says

TRANSLATION: He thinks this might be a real possibility

Everything is a possibility, but did you catch one particular whiny blurb in Putler's speech where he complained about "West threatening Ruscia with nukes"? Means that the message has been sent and received. This is a far cry from the "I'm the only one with nukes on this particular battleground so surrender fucking now" the fucker was broadcasting before.

Even the most dedicated pro-Kremlin propagandists haven’t been able to hide their apprehension about the obvious shortcomings of the Russian economy and its military-industrial complex. In Wednesday’s broadcast of state television show 60 Minutes, even the studio seemed to be in disarray, with a large puddle of water clearly visible near one of the podiums.

Senior military analyst Mikhail Khodaryonok poured yet more water on Putin’s declaration when he noted during the show that: “Mobilization is the face of the nation.” That face seems to be lacking some teeth, with glaring issues pertaining to the lack of military equipment and technologies bemoaned even by the most rabid propagandists. Khodaryonok pointed out: “An issue that is no less important than others is how well these people will be armed and equipped... They should receive modern uniforms, modern gear, rations, medical kits, items having to do with support and logistics, modern weapons… It’s just inappropriate.”

Those fortunate enough not to face mobilization should contribute in other ways, declared military expert Igor Korotchenko during his appearance on the show.

“It’s extremely important that our new military divisions that are being formed today receive necessary equipment and weapons,” he stressed. “Since we’re talking about the future of our nation, there has to be the consolidation of all available resources. We should create a fund of support for the special military operation. Our socially responsible prominent oligarchy should share their profits, so that our fighters on the front lines can be properly armed and equipped.”

Korotchenko went on: “Everyone should play their part. We can’t have it that some will luxuriate in Rublyovka [a prestigious residential area in the western suburbs of Moscow], while others are defending the Motherland. Those who are fattened up in the economic sense need to share their resources so that we can supply our troops with everything that is needed.”"

WHAT LACK OF MILITARY EQUIPMENT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

"The 3-line rifle M1891, colloquially (but mistakenly; see Nagant's legal dispute) known in the West as Mosin–Nagant and in Russia and former Soviet Union as Mosin's rifle (Russian: винтовка Мосина, ISO 9: vintovka Mosina), is a five-shot, bolt-action, internal magazine–fed military rifle. It is primarily found chambered for its original 7.62×54mmR cartridge.

Developed from 1882 to 1891, it was used by the armed forces of the Russian Empire, the Soviet Union and various other states. It is one of the most mass-produced military bolt-action rifles in history, with over 37 million units produced since 1891. In spite of its age, it has been used in various conflicts around the world up to the present day.

SEE? 37 MILLION!!!

Well, if Putin uses nukes, it will just be little ones, so they won't matter so much.

Russia has alot of experience spreading radioactive poison around Europe assassinating political rivals and incompetently letting their nuke power plants melt down.

All this embarrassment and international condemnation and sanctions Russia has faced with their crap-ass drunk military will be totally worth it just to hang on portions of the Donbass which will be right next door and downstream of the areas they threaten to turn into a nuclear wasteland.

Universal conscription would be a cohesive national force, like it is for Taiwan, Israel, South Korea.

We miss an opportunity by not having it here.

B.A.C.A.H. says

Universal conscription would be a cohesive national force, like it is for Taiwan, Israel, South Korea.

We miss an opportunity by not having it here.

IIRC, per census data about 4-5 million people reach age of 18 every year in the US. If we conscript everybody reaching 18 y.o. for 2 years we'll have 8-10 million conscripted privates. Add to this the necessary professional army personnel for officer and highly specialized positions and we're looking at a standing army 10-12 million strong. What the fuck are we supposed to do with the army this huge? Dig trenches and fill them up all day every day?

ZipperTits says

This is the real threat against us and Putin knows it

Except it doesn't work. He has been trying to paralize the West into inaction for half a year already and all he's getting is the opposite results: more sanctions, more weapons delivered, more Ruscist ass kicked, etc.

ZipperTits says

None of that bullshit addresses what I said.

Of course it does. You argue the threat is "real". But the fact on the ground show the opposite: he flashed the nuke card several times and still didn't get what he wants. The rest is speculation and news from the future.

Look at the fighting spirit on these guys!

https://twitter.com/TadeuszGiczan/status/1573230158563233794

Is the only guy in uniform who has his clock cleaned a supervising officer?

Yep, these mighty T-62s are coming out of their 50 years slumber:

https://twitter.com/Gerashchenko_en/status/1573239697144520713

ROGFY: https://twitter.com/wartranslated/status/1573333122304835584

Putler's spokewhore a.k.a. Peskov admitted that the population's reaction to the mobilization is "hysterical and emotional".

Who said they are getting Mosins? Eat a crow!

https://mobile.twitter.com/christogrozev/status/1573650479799799809

https://mobile.twitter.com/christogrozev/status/1573651821104619521

Eric Holder says

IIRC, per census data about 4-5 million people reach age of 18 every year in the US. If we conscript everybody reaching 18 y.o. for 2 years we'll have 8-10 million conscripted privates. Add to this the necessary professional army personnel for officer and highly specialized positions and we're looking at a standing army 10-12 million strong. What the fuck are we supposed to do with the army this huge? Dig trenches and fill them up all day every day?

1/3rd of them couldn't run a mile in under 10min. That would be the bigger problem. Then 1/3rd would be too scared that if there was an actual conflict, they'd die. So they'd bail. I think our military is structured well. Moral is huge in war. If half the people (dudes usually) don't want to be there, you're fucked. I think that's what Russia is facing right now hence the nuke threat.

If I genuinely felt our country was attacked, I'd pick up a weapon and fight it two seconds at almost 40. Draft or not. I don't think Russians are that way. We'll obviously see, but 300K should easily outmatch Ukraine IF they are into it, even with the west pumping weapons in to a bunch of drunks. I don't think Russians are up for it. We'll see. Nukes are the X factor obviously.

cisTits says

RWSGFY says

Yep, these mighty T-62s are coming out of their 50 years slumber:

https://twitter.com/Gerashchenko_en/status/1573239697144520713

And the Imaginary Ukranian tanks that go against them will still not fair well.

Russia will not deploy them against other tanks. They will deploy them against tank-less units like infantry and artillery.

Who said anything about tanks? T-62 is defeated even by RPG-7, no need for fancy Javelins. And RPG-7s are more plentiful than dirt.

https://twitter.com/Pieceofloaf/status/1574135724470829056

It was bad enough that Putin was using some jihadis from Syria and Chechnya to kill Christian and Jewish "Nazis" in Ukraine.

Now the head of the Russian Orthodox church is trying to get in on the action to churn out some "martyrs" for the glorious cause.
https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2022-09-26/orthodox-church-leader-says-russian-soldiers-dying-in-ukraine-will-be-cleansed-of-sin

This is all part of the plan....

For some reason Russian men think that the road to mobilization goes through Georgia: https://twitter.com/Tendar/status/1574422450602909696

Eric Holder says

Who the fuck are they drafting? Pensioners?

They did call up a 62-63 year old guy, so maybe. I imagine that it would go something like this:

Not to be a dick, but half of them are female, then you've got the ones on antidepressants, 30% of all 18-25 yo females are obese with another 30% overweight...

zzyzzx says

Eric Holder says

Who the fuck are they drafting? Pensioners?

They did call up a 62-63 year old guy, so maybe. I imagine that it would go something like this:

Except the machinegun would be a rusted through piece of garbage.

"Whoever has served in the army doesn’t laugh at the circus." -- Russian proverb

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1574906007414767619

A Russian medic tells newly mobilized recruits they need to buy their own sleeping bags because the army won’t provide it. She also says they are out of tourniquets so they should bring their girlfriend's tampons to help seal bullet wounds.

https://twitter.com/epi_ona/status/1574697478695305223?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1574697478695305223%7Ctwgr%5E1b8afbbef1faaa61f0ec80f8d647c28434552b69%7Ctwcon%5Es1&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fhotair.com%2Fjohn-s-2%2F2022%2F09%2F27%2Frussian-propagandist-the-fatherland-is-in-danger-a-war-has-been-declared-against-us-n499443

Volkssturm:







Didn't Shoygu brag recently that they have 25 million mobilisation reserve to tap? Why these grandpas are being called up? They are old, sure, but not old enough to have experience with T-62 tanks.

Globalists have found a new use for QR codes they perfected during the scandemic:

Moscow will introduce control over those liable for military service using QR codes. Information about this was sent to state-owned companies, according to telegram channels citing a source from a subsidiary of Sberbank.

(g-translated from https://el-murid.livejournal.com/5234208.html)

Putin's Ukraine Mobilisation Incharge Roman Malyk Found Dead Under 'Suspicious' Circumstances.

https://www.news18.com/news/world/putins-ukraine-mobilisation-incharge-roman-malyk-found-dead-under-suspicious-circumstances-6177943.html

don't believe everything on internet, so much fake shit out there... the only thing I believe these days is what I see with my own eyes.

RWSGFY says

zzyzzx says

Eric Holder says

Who the fuck are they drafting? Pensioners?

They did call up a 62-63 year old guy, so maybe. I imagine that it would go something like this:

Except the machinegun would be a rusted through piece of garbage.

Consider the possibility that it's the exact same machine gun pictured!

RWSGFY says

Volkssturm:

They are going to die soon anyway, so why not draft them?

RWSGFY says

Who said they are getting Mosins? Eat a crow!

https://mobile.twitter.com/christogrozev/status/1573650479799799809

https://mobile.twitter.com/christogrozev/status/1573651821104619521

that i can answer for you. burn a gun and itll rust like that. these guns were in a serious fire.

FortwayeAsFuckJoeBiden says

RWSGFY says

Who said they are getting Mosins? Eat a crow!

https://mobile.twitter.com/christogrozev/status/1573650479799799809

https://mobile.twitter.com/christogrozev/status/1573651821104619521

that i can answer for you. burn a gun and itll rust like that. these guns were in a serious fire.

They would be all covered in bright red rust - look at all the burned Ruscian tanks in Ukraine for reference.

But fire or no fire that shit is not battle-ready and yet it's being issued.

A prophetic pro-Putin get-out-to-vote ad from 2020:

https://we.tl/t-nwKQvQ62Ok

This aged well.

Mobilized soldiers and relatives face rejection applying for debt relief

3:53 am, November 28, 2022Source: Kommersant
In November, conscripts and their families began complaining about their inability to access the debt relief which was promised to them by the Russian government. Kommersant noticed an increase in references to the “unfair approach” of banks on the forum Banki.ru.

Clients of Sberbank, VTB, Tinkoff Bank, Alfa Bank, and others complained about refusals and mistakes.

For example, the author of one of the reviews said that he had attempted to get debt relief due to the mobilization of his father, but that “the bank ignored requests in the chat, and the hotline hung up on him.” Another testimonial said that the bank initially accepted the documents, but later rejected them.

Another client said that he was approved for debt relief, but that his payment schedule still hadn’t been changed, “the arrears are burning and the penalties are dripping.”

VTB, HKF-Bank and MTS-Bank explained that the problems with the relief for mobilized people was due to “technical reasons.” Sberbank reported that during peak periods in early October “there may have been isolated refusals” associated with difficulties in the execution of powers of attorney, but “the problem is not acute at the moment.”

Lawyers interviewed by Kommersant believe that the debt relief program is underdeveloped, so banks are free to refuse clients.

A bill on credit vacations for mobilized people was submitted to the State Duma on September 23 - two days after the announcement of mobilization in Russia. It was later extended to all participants of the war in Ukraine. On October 7, Russian President Vladimir Putin signed the law.

According to the document, servicemen or members of their families may apply for debt relief until December 31, 2023, provided that the loan agreement was concluded before mobilization or the conclusion of a contract with the Ministry of Defense. If a serviceman dies or becomes disabled, his obligations under the loan are terminated.

The best way to save up for a mobile phone is to swap your father for it! This commercial attempts to attract veteran male providers to be recycled into the meatgrinder, by shitting on Russia's own economic state of being. What marketing genius came up with this one?

https://twitter.com/grahworin/status/1604501536914055171?ref_src=patrick.net