patrick.net

Real Estate Investor Seeks Apprentice

I'm wearing my housing equity.

(also - I'm drinking my housing equity and I'm driving my housing equity...)

...but think of the tax benefits!

Front:
I sat out the housing bubble and all I got was this lousy t-shirt...

Back:
...and a high credit score.
or
...and your McMansion at auction.
or
???

Personally, I favor the educational approach:

ARMageddon
(with a picture of the Credit Suisse ARM reset chart).
This shirt would be good for at least four more years and would be quite helpful for educating people about why the recovery is not "just around the corner". Oh man, I would buy one just to wear to open houses :-)

"educating people about why the recovery is not "just around the corner""

Fire up those silk screen presses! We should be able to bang on that one for a long @ss time!

Fire up those silk screen presses!

Too bad we do not have an electronic press...

Back in the 60's (as white flight became rampant in Chicago) sprawl grew out of control. My father HATED all of these "pop up communities" (and the phonies that inhabited them) so much he had a bumper sticker made up:

"Is Hoffman Estates Really Necessary?"

Maybe we could just offer them with a ______ so you could insert your own "love to hate" development!

"Bailout my Ass"

happy contented non-housedebtor

"Non-Loan-Owner!"

Front:

We want to buy your house...

Back:

... at the bank auction.

My home is not under water...

It is rented.

"...Well, if you believe that, I've got a house I want to sell you!"

"...All the Kings horses, and all the Kings men, couldn't put the housing market back together again!"

"You heard what I said. Why don't you clean the Adjustable Rate Mortgage out of your ears."

"A bubble a day keeps reality away."

"They're not making land any more. They're not making sky either!"

I am currently living this slogan.

"Your property taxes assure great education for my kids."

This is so true for Cupertino renters.

“They’re not making land any more. They’re not making sky either!”

LOVE that ! There is someone who is selling land on the moon and people are actually paying for it. I think I can start selling parts of sky. I can use this slogan.

Idea 1:
"Debt = Wealth"

(That remind me, I want to reread Orwell's 1984.

or

Idea 2:
Front:

Patrick.net: Pissing - Off Realtors since 2002

Back:
Top 5 Realtor Quotes (Lies)

5) “You Can Always Refinance Your ARM”
4) “Don’t get priced out.”
3) “I’ve heard the seller has multiple offers”
2) “They’re not making any more land!”
1) “Would I lie?”

[big block font] I WANT TO BUY YOUR HOUSE...

[graphic of a curvy, bubblish house]

[gothic bold, scary font] FROM THE BANK!

[Italic] Pleasant dreams, it's only money after all.

I'd love to see the use of "REIC" as much a common part of mainstream America's everyday language as it is on bubble blogs!

How about a "REIC" boldly on the front encircled with a red diagonal line drawn through it?

In a nod to the "Got Milk?" ads from the late 90's.

"Got Equity?"

How about :

"YOUR house is not MY problem"

"I'll bail out your mortgage if you sterilize yourself and your offspring."

"In foreclosure? IN YOUR FACE!"

"It's the Price Stupid!"
If you want to sell your house, drop the price.

How about just a plain old t-shirt with bold letters in the front:

"SUBPRIME"

Your father is a used house salesman and your mother smelled of elderberries.

Or one of those short-shorts with writing on the butt:

"I got your asset backed security RIGHT HERE."

A variation:

My ARM reset and all I ('ve) got left is this lousy T-shirt.

"It's all fun and games until someone loses a house."

Apparently, Apple is "bailing out" iPhone users who had purchased the "asset" at higher price.

Front:

Prices always go up...

Back:

..until they go down.

variation:

Don't worry, you can always refinance...til you can't.

If US doesn't bailout CA, Mexico will!!

"You didn't pay for my first marriage. I'm not paying for your house!"

sa,

That's a really good angle for bailout supporters!

"Do you want to see California become like a third world country, over run by illegals and abandoned homes being used for meth labs!

Oh.. uh. wait...

No offense!

"Don't worry, it's not the end of the world, just your credit score. And we all know that credit scores always go up! (They are't making any more)"

J Galt,

But that IS... what every FB/Bailout wannabe is saying!

Perhaps one of the criteria for being B/O eligible is simply asking if these people did a cash out re-fi? Oh, you didn't understand what you signed but you understood how to fleece the equity out of your home?

Next!

"iPhone price cut = $200
iHome price cut = $200k"

@skibum

Or one of those short-shorts with writing on the butt:

“I got your asset backed security RIGHT HERE.”

LOL. Thanks for causing us to pause to imagine the women of Patrick.net thusly adorned.

Based on one of the best I remember reading on Patrick.net (was it Aethna or Robert Cote?)

"Proud to be sponsoring someone else's retirement ... one payment at a time."

That’s a really good angle for bailout supporters!

Exactly. There were a bunch jumping here few days back.