patrick.net

"Non-Loan-Owner!"

Front:

We want to buy your house...

Back:

... at the bank auction.

My home is not under water...

It is rented.

"...Well, if you believe that, I've got a house I want to sell you!"

"...All the Kings horses, and all the Kings men, couldn't put the housing market back together again!"

"You heard what I said. Why don't you clean the Adjustable Rate Mortgage out of your ears."

"A bubble a day keeps reality away."

"They're not making land any more. They're not making sky either!"

I am currently living this slogan.

"Your property taxes assure great education for my kids."

This is so true for Cupertino renters.

“They’re not making land any more. They’re not making sky either!”

LOVE that ! There is someone who is selling land on the moon and people are actually paying for it. I think I can start selling parts of sky. I can use this slogan.

Idea 1:
"Debt = Wealth"

(That remind me, I want to reread Orwell's 1984.

or

Idea 2:
Front:

Patrick.net: Pissing - Off Realtors since 2002

Back:
Top 5 Realtor Quotes (Lies)

5) “You Can Always Refinance Your ARM”
4) “Don’t get priced out.”
3) “I’ve heard the seller has multiple offers”
2) “They’re not making any more land!”
1) “Would I lie?”

[big block font] I WANT TO BUY YOUR HOUSE...

[graphic of a curvy, bubblish house]

[gothic bold, scary font] FROM THE BANK!

[Italic] Pleasant dreams, it's only money after all.

I'd love to see the use of "REIC" as much a common part of mainstream America's everyday language as it is on bubble blogs!

How about a "REIC" boldly on the front encircled with a red diagonal line drawn through it?

In a nod to the "Got Milk?" ads from the late 90's.

"Got Equity?"

How about :

"YOUR house is not MY problem"

"I'll bail out your mortgage if you sterilize yourself and your offspring."

"In foreclosure? IN YOUR FACE!"

"It's the Price Stupid!"
If you want to sell your house, drop the price.

How about just a plain old t-shirt with bold letters in the front:

"SUBPRIME"

Your father is a used house salesman and your mother smelled of elderberries.

Or one of those short-shorts with writing on the butt:

"I got your asset backed security RIGHT HERE."

A variation:

My ARM reset and all I ('ve) got left is this lousy T-shirt.

"It's all fun and games until someone loses a house."

Apparently, Apple is "bailing out" iPhone users who had purchased the "asset" at higher price.

Front:

Prices always go up...

Back:

..until they go down.

variation:

Don't worry, you can always refinance...til you can't.

If US doesn't bailout CA, Mexico will!!

"You didn't pay for my first marriage. I'm not paying for your house!"

sa,

That's a really good angle for bailout supporters!

"Do you want to see California become like a third world country, over run by illegals and abandoned homes being used for meth labs!

Oh.. uh. wait...

No offense!

"Don't worry, it's not the end of the world, just your credit score. And we all know that credit scores always go up! (They are't making any more)"

J Galt,

But that IS... what every FB/Bailout wannabe is saying!

Perhaps one of the criteria for being B/O eligible is simply asking if these people did a cash out re-fi? Oh, you didn't understand what you signed but you understood how to fleece the equity out of your home?

Next!

"iPhone price cut = $200
iHome price cut = $200k"

@skibum

Or one of those short-shorts with writing on the butt:

“I got your asset backed security RIGHT HERE.”

LOL. Thanks for causing us to pause to imagine the women of Patrick.net thusly adorned.

Based on one of the best I remember reading on Patrick.net (was it Aethna or Robert Cote?)

"Proud to be sponsoring someone else's retirement ... one payment at a time."

That’s a really good angle for bailout supporters!

Exactly. There were a bunch jumping here few days back.

I had this really cool math teacher in junior highschool. He taught us much more than math; he taught us a little about the real world. Like, if you can't figure out the discount on a sale item, then you don't really know if you're getting a deal. Or more simply, if you don't how much change to expect at the cash register, then you could easily get gypped. All this he summed up in one mantra:

"The dumb boy pays the bills"

May not work for a Patrick.net logo, but it seems fitting somehow, what with all the "dumb boys" who could not calculate their monthly mortgage payments. It's about the only lesson I remember from junior high, and it has served me quite well.

Ironically, my math teacher's name was Mr. House. I kid you not.

"So there's a Priest a Rabbi and a Mortgage Broker floating in a life boat..."

"Have you fed your Alligator lately?"

I saw this in an article lately:

"Finance, Flip, Repeat"
"Finance, Flip, Repeat"
"Finance, Flip... Uh oh"

That's great!

“Have you fed your Alligator lately?”

He's very hungry!

a bit left of field-

"GOT GOLD?"

Renter

Have you liberated your equity lately?

Are you NEO?

I wonder if I’d get sued for some kind of copyright infringement if I used the dead wicked witch under her house.

Patrick

You can get a cartoonist to do a house with feet under it, without using an original still image, I guess. Cartoonists seem to be able to do anything...