Comments 1 - 7 of 7 Search these comments
How close is the friend? I'd ask about new developments occasionally, but mostly ask how they're doing. That's what's most important - right?
home buying, and especially home LOSING *short sale, foreclosure*, is a specifically touchy subject...i find the housing market right now interesting, and LOVE learning more and reading about how horrible its become, and will only get worse... yet every single time, I give advice, it comes back to bite me in the butt... this is not to say that I'm wrong in what I'm saying, its only to say that maybe people are afraid of the truth... or maybe they think I want them to fail and that I'm "jealous" that they are buying a house, or that I don't know what I'm talking about because I just "made" my boyfriend walk away from his house (ps-I was a strategic default-no one gets that)... so really what im saying is, UNLESS THE PERSON IS COMPLETELY OPEN TO HEARING THE HONEST TRUTH *AND THIS COULD --and most likely* means walking away from their house, then dont bring it up... giving advice or even just stating my personal opinion of the housing market in general gets me no where with my friends... most of which who own or are buying houses (none of which who bought BEFORE the bubble)... so I've learned to keep my mouth shut! -- oh and it doesn't matter how good the friend is-- if its not what they want to hear, you better not be the one saying it!!! (all of this is my opinion only :) )
I take the opportunity to corner them into admitting they knew the house wasn't worth a Gazillion dollars. They got greedy and thought that the nonsense of flipping it year over year up in value would never run out.
After that it's hard to sympathize. If any thing they owe me an apology, for contributing to houses out of my sensible affordability range. I could have had a house and been on with my life by now.
I think the right thing to do is refer them to patrick.net for some good reading and a lively forum where they can get honest advice!
that is true!!! maybe they will see the light then, and you won't have to be the one breaking it!
LOL, tell him there are millions of people losing their mortgages, I mean homes. Sorry, but this late in the game I have zero sympathy for anyone who bought in the past few years or pulled out all their equity and are now upside down.
On a more serious note, there are folks taking it real hard. Keep in touch, ask how he is doing, let him know you are there if he needs emotional support. There have been cases in our area where men have taken their own lives due to the pressures of the current situation, self created or not, it's not worth dying for.
Leigh, "On a more serious note"...that's it exactly. This wasn't a speculative houseflipper as many folks in a mess only wanted a primary residence. Thank You all. I'll call today.
okay, have a close friend called with bad news: Â employer has stopped paying(!) and with a slightly upside down mortgage, guy is in a terrible $$ spot and fears a short sale is likely. Â Same old story but...Here's the question: Â Does one wait for friend to call and tell new developments, or does one call and ask how's it $$ going? Â Â How are other folks being a good friend or at least considerate to pals in bad $$ spot? Â Don't spend much time chatting with pals about $$ so etiquette is totally uncertain. Â Thanks for kind advice.
#housing