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Dan8267 says

If you can find a way to short divorce lawyers. They and the family court system are the primary reasons marriage is on the decline.

I disagree. I believe that the divorce lawyers & family court system are the result of a broken societal norm. The media has gone over to the dark side, celebrating the worst of the worst (Jersey Shore!) and 2-month marriages/marrying someone you hardly know (Kardass-ians)... We celebrate the ugly in life, and make it difficult to know what's real from what isn't.

Dan8267 says

Shouldn't you be blaming divorce lawyers and judges for this?

Yes, They are inclusive in a system overwhelmed and hampered with steadfast rules. They can not possibly take the time to analyze each case by case. But I heard, Divorce attorneys have a high suicide rate. Of course it would be inappropriate to call this a bright side to this thread.
Elliemae touches on the perverted POWER of media, In just a few short decades the media has turned us all from Lucy or Ricky, Andy or Barny into suspects. Ellie is right, we don't remember who brought Bernie Madoff down. Hollywood made divorce romantic. Ben Bernanke is also taking advantage of the influence of the boob tube. Ramblin. Past my bed time

Dan8267 says

They and the family court system are the primary reasons marriage is on the decline.

To clarify, I mean that Gen X and the Millennials grew up in the divorce age and have seen what divorce does to men, financially and emotionally. Is it any wonder that Gen X and Millennial men aren't in a hurry to tie the knot? There's a very strong perception among young men that marriage is the worst financial contract a man can sign and that the family court system will rake him over if he gets divorced, even if he contests the divorce and tries to work out the marriage. And this perception is well-founded in recent history.

Dan8267 says

To clarify, I mean that Gen X and the Millennials grew up in the divorce age and have seen what divorce does to men, financially and emotionally. Is it any wonder that Gen X and Millennial men aren't in a hurry to tie the knot? There's a very strong perception among young men that marriage is the worst financial contract a man can sign and that the family court system will rake him over if he gets divorced, even if he contests the divorce and tries to work out the marriage. And this perception is well-founded in recent history.

I'm probably too old to fall into the groups mentioned, but I'll never forget some guy telling me how hard he had to work mt make that $900/month child support payments he had to make. And that was decades ago when $900 was real money.

zzyzzx says

but I'll never forget some guy telling me how hard he had to work mt make that $900/month child support payments he had to make. And that was decades ago when $900 was real money.

Unfortunately, it is worst than that. We've all heard about men who, through no fault of their own, lost their job in a corporate downsizing -- that happens all the time and it happened a lot in the 1980s.

As a result of losing their jobs, men were put in prison for being delinquent on child support payments. That's right, men were imprisoned because a whole bunch of corporations decided to downsize at once and cause an unemployment spike.

When stuff like that happens, it's no wonder that generations of boys grew up thinking that marriage is scary and foolish.

Having been the second wife, I saw what divorce/child support & custody issues do to a man. He can become a third party in his own family. It's so important that children be allowed to grow up with both parents if possible - and that the two parents support each other no matter what. It doesn't matter if mommy's sleeping with someone or daddy's doing the same... or someone comes out of the closet, etc. All that matters is that there are children who need both parents and to know that their parents didn't divorce them.

Child support is something different - it's a weapon to be wielded by both sides in order to cause emotional distress and hardship. My ex paid every dime and then some, yet we ended up in court five times in one year. Each time we won, and she turned around and filed anyway. The last time we would have been awarded attorney fees, except my husband represented himself.

And yet, somehow, the kids grew up into productive (awesome) human beings who know that their parents love them and and I believe they'll be good parents if they choose to be. Their memories of childhood don't include the bad parts - all that was kept away from them for the most part.

Dan8267 says

Unfortunately, it is worst than that. We've all heard about men who, through no fault of their own, lost their job in a corporate downsizing -- that happens all the time and it happened a lot in the 1980s.

Now that you mention it, I also recall that if you lose your job or lost it and get another lower paying job, the child support does not go down.

It's just not fair that gays don't have the same opportunity to make themselves miserable as regular couples do.

It's only fair to have gay marriage...gays should be allowed to ruin themselves financially too!

wthrfrk80 says

It's just not fair that gays don't have the same opportunity to make themselves miserable as regular couples do.

The hell they don't. They can adopt and get divorced, too. And what a few decades and they can clone, too.

Take a look around you, it's already being capitalized on - it's called feminism.

zzyzzx says

Now that you mention it, I also recall that if you lose your job or lost it and get another lower paying job, the child support does not go down.

I've seen many cases where the child support was reduced accordingly.

wthrfrk80 says

It's just not fair that gays don't have the same opportunity to make themselves miserable as regular couples do.

It's only fair to have gay marriage...gays should be allowed to ruin themselves financially too!

I would say that the reason why so many states are allowing gay marriage is because most state legislators are lawyers who want to cash in on the lucrative gay divorce market.

elliemae says

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zzyzzx says

Now that you mention it, I also recall that if you lose your job or lost it and get another lower paying job, the child support does not go down.

I've seen many cases where the child support was reduced accordingly.

Yeah, after 2 years or so.