patrick.net

I assume you're on it, but just in case:

There's a story out of Bakersfield: a high school girl made semen cupcakes and served them to her classmates.

EDIT: Possibly a false alarm. She claims now to have lied to them about serving them cumcakes.

Just a couple of Realtor's having some fun. What's the big deal?

Call it Crazy says

You forgot the pictures... Here, this should help...

*

From the looks of it they have not had a shower in weeks.
How can he tolerate the filth.
The officer sure has a story to tell the guys at happy hours.

Which one is the woman?

Are they sure they just weren't hirsute lesbians playing snurf the turf?

They must have been nabbed for public intoxication as well, because their privates were so yeasty it was a munch 'n drunk.

If you're going to hook up at a church, might as well make it anal to go all out.

This is an outrage! They were exercising their freedom of religion. The Christian Bible says, and I quote, "go forth and multiple". This couple was practicing their religion on grounds designated for their religion. If this isn't covered by freedom of religion, nothing should be.

corntrollio says

If you're going to hook up at a church, might as well make it anal to go all out.

Wait: There's some other kind of church sex besides anal?

Dan8267 says

This is an outrage! They were exercising their freedom of religion. The Christian Bible says, and I quote, "go forth and multiple". This couple was practicing their religion on grounds designated for their religion. If this isn't covered by freedom of religion, nothing should be.

How the the hell do you "multiple" by giving oral sex to a 60 year old woman?
Maybe God just wanted to watch some porn.

I was being facetious. In any case, my sarcasm does point out that there really is no such thing as freedom of religion. There is social acceptance of some religions and religious practices, and the law enforces those cultural norms, not for the sake of justice but in spite of it.

If religious freedom were real, anyone who considered sex to be a sacred and natural act should be able to legally do it in public, just like you have a right to pray in public.

Dan8267 says

If religious freedom were real, anyone who considered sex to be a sacred and natural act should be able to legally do it in public, just like you have a right to pray in public.

All animals except the human animal do it in public. We even cover up our bodies even though everything about the human body is natural. Somewhere down the line it became normal to cover up and have sex discreetly.

We don't shit in public either. I can't think of any culture where functions like that are perfectly acceptable to do in public. This suggests a common point in the human psyche where our self image is at odds with the baser(closer to animal) functions of our bodies. Our image of others is based on their higher functions, and observing their lower functions offends us at some basic level. We all shit, but very few of us wish to watch each other shit. Sex is sort of like that, with the added complication that viewers can be made extra uncomfortable by unwanted arousal.

Then again, looking at the picture of the two perpetrators, id be far more likely to toss my cookies than pitch a tent. Old homeless derelicts having sex would offend nearly everyone.

Pussy Riot did something like this in a Museum before they assaulted the Priests and vandalized that Church.

I think they got a $50 fine for having an orgy in the museum.

*MOST* NSFW:
http://www.henrikaeshna.com/apps/blog/sex-orgy-in-a-museum-what-does
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoj4IfiaNuQ

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/altreport/2012/08/nsfw-nude-orgy-pregnancy-photos-hot-girl-pussy-riot.html

If the US prosecutes these guys, it's worse than Russia.

thunderlips11 says

Pussy Riot did something like this in a Museum before they assaulted the Priests and vandalized that Church.

I think they got a $50 fine for having an orgy in the museum.

It wasn't technically Pussy Riot. One of the members of Pussy Riot was there, yes, but it was a performance art group named Voina. It wasn't technically an orgy either, although it was widely called that. The performance involved multiple couples having sex (or simulating it, as it appears from the pictures you sent) in order to satirize Putin's call to increase the birthrate.

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

We eat in public. Maybe the guy was slurping bugs out of the Wench's boo hah! Anyone think of that?

He thought he was at burger king and asked her to hold the mayo.

Strategist says

All animals except the human animal do it in public.

One could easily turn nudism into a religion. Doing so would prove that "freedom of religion" does not really exist in our society. You are only free to participate in the narrow set of religious practices that conform to the social biases of the politicians who write the law and the police who enforce meaningless and vague terms like indecency, disorderly conduct, and obstruction of justice.

I say that under the 14th Amendment, if the religions that need protection (Satanism, Wicca, polytheistic religions, nudism, etc.) don't get protection under the 1st Amendment, than neither should the dominant religions of Christianity and Judaism.

Quigley says

We don't shit in public either.

We don't shit in public because it is unsanitary to leave shit all over the sidewalk. It contains E. Coli and is a health threat.

In contrast, the prohibition of having sex, or merely being nude in public, has absolutely nothing to do with health or sanitation. It is purely a pseudo-morality, religious doctrine. It offends the cultural preferences of those in power.

Using the state's monopoly on violence to enforce arbitrary cultural preferences is an affront to human rights and the very concept of a free society.

You don't go nude in public so you don't leave skid marks and sticky bunghole prints wherever you sit down.

Also, lasering somebody with a hairy, cellulite jiggling brown eye when bending over can cause stroke, heart attack, hysteria, panic reactions and irreversible trauma with PTSD, especially in restaurants, which would wind up selling far less food.

Women would have to tolerate assault bush munching from homeless, pervies, and huge basset hounds, though their spectrum of displeasure/enjoyment might vary.

OMG those FACES!

(singing) And I said, what about bilateral asymmetry... and I said, well, that's one thing we've got!

Ceffer says

You don't go nude in public so you don't leave skid marks and sticky bunghole prints wherever you sit down.

That would only justify making sitting on a public bench/seat while nude illegal. It could not justify making walking around naked illegal.

And a towel placed over the seat would remove the justification for any anti-nude-sitting law.

Specifically, the cop noted, Benally “had his tongue and finger inside of Ms. Krusen’s vagina.”

lostand confused says

Specifically, the cop noted, Benally “had his tongue and finger inside of Ms. Krusen’s vagina.”

The fact that shit like having sex in public is illegal, but it's perfectly legal for corporations to pollute or take out peasant insurance or trash the economy just shows how fucked up our society and its priorities are.

I don't care if you fuck your wife on your lawn. I care if Goldman Sachs fucks me.

Iosef V HydroCabron says

There's a story out of Bakersfield: a high school girl made semen cupcakes and served them to her classmates.

She CLAIMED she put semen and other things in them. Odds are she just made that up to gross them out.

If true, you only get about a teaspoon of semen per shot. Have to generate a lot on demand to make 'em taste funny. Unless she was milking a pack of farm animals or something..... there's a thought.

Tell the high school girl about pig semen. About a liter or more per ejaculation, plenty to go around for large parties.

Or, she could just wring out the cheerleaders' dresses after football practice.