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Man arrested for humping stuffed animal in WalMart
2014 Oct 15, 4:44am 5,575 views 19 comments
by zzyzzx follow (9)
Comments 1 - 19 of 19 Search these comments
HydroCabron
2014 Oct 15, 5:02am
Even more perverted is the live creatures I see in Walmart who also find someone to hump them.
Ceffer
2014 Oct 15, 5:15am
Walking through Walmart and witnessing the rippling mounds of exposed cellulite and scooter babes is just too stimulating.
Ceffer
2014 Oct 15, 6:20am
The feminists need to get on this and make sure that this stuffed animal rapist is imprisoned for life. Even if it was just stuffed animal eye rape.
Ceffer
2014 Oct 15, 7:59am
He should have known that that kind of behavior is only tolerated in the Walmart "sex toys" section.
Dan8267
2014 Oct 15, 12:40pm
Hey doesn't the Captain live in Florida?
We haven't heard from Dan today?? Hmmm....
I live in Boca, not Tampa, you moron.
Dan8267
2014 Oct 15, 12:43pm
Road trip.... We're glad you were able to post bail!!
I would have responded sooner but your wife paid me a conjugal visit.
Dan8267
2014 Oct 15, 12:45pm
Nope it wasn't me, I'm more of an Elephant man
This is true. I've seen the women Captain Shuddup dates.
Ceffer
2014 Oct 15, 1:13pm
Walmart has a "Slightly Used, Try Before You Buy" barrel of sex toys for $10
apiece.
There is a painter drop cloth around it, you can try them out, but they just ask that you wipe them off on your clothes before putting them back in the barrel.
Strategist
2014 Oct 15, 1:27pm
He was born that way - what don't you understand??
He will have plenty of company with others born that way in prison. They can all take turns being a stuffed horsie.
Tenpoundbass
2014 Oct 15, 2:40pm
Walmart has a "Slightly Used, Try Before You Buy" barrel of sex toys for $10
apiece.
Next to the basket of assorted broken dildos.
zzyzzx
2014 Oct 28, 3:34am
Police Release Photo Of Victim Humped, Defiled By Notorious Walmart Masturbator
Florida cops have released an image of the glassy-eyed victim of the notorious Walmart masturbator.
As seen in the above evidence photo, the brown, tan, and red stuffed horse was allegedly used Tuesday by Sean Johnson, 19, as he pleasured himself inside the store in Brooksville.
After splattering the “stuffed horse’s chest area†with ejaculate, Johnson placed it “on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set).†The toy, price tag in place, was later placed on Walmart’s floor, where it was photographed by a cop.
Ceffer
2014 Oct 28, 4:15am
Another ad hominem slur for Patnet: You Walmart stuffed hoss masturbating dildo brain!
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/walmart-stuffed-animal-defiler-657903
A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, police report.
The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa.
According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.
After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse's chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”
While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers. In a written statement, Johnson admitted that, “I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal.” Noting that he committed a “horrible act,” Johnson added, “I need to think before what I do. I'm extremely sorry.”
Johnson, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond.
The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.