patrick.net

1) I want the bell of the ball

2) I'm consumed by jealousy when other guys notice her, too

Every man wants good sex with an attractive woman, but does not want her cheating on him if he's going to invest in a lifetime relationship. This makes perfect sense. Read The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex.

Speaking as a man for myself -- obviously no man can speak for all men -- I would not be jealous if other men noticed my hot girlfriend or wife. I'd expect it. The whole point of beauty is that it's hereditary and we all have pretty much the same concept of it. Otherwise, beauty wouldn't be useful and worth the extraordinary costs we're willing to pay to acquire an attractive mate.

I would be jealous if she persuade other men, but that makes sense. Similarly, it makes sense that women seek financially successful men. Children cost a lot of money to raise. I have no problem with women having that criteria as it is sensible and not contradictory like the example Patrick gave.

1) I want a woman who is smart and challenges me

2) Her intelligence and ability to articulate ideas emasculates me

Back when I was into long-term relationships, I pursued intelligent women exclusively. I never found intelligence in another person, man or woman, threatening or emasculating. Intelligence isn't even unique to being human. Why would it be uniquely masculine? It should, in my opinion, be universally attractive as it's never a bad thing to have.

Now that I'm into just short-term relationships, the intelligence of a mate matters far less, but it's still not a negative. Perhaps some men react negatively to it because it's less likely that an intelligent woman will sleep with a guy who's less intelligent, so they view it as an increase risk of failure to mate. Luckily, I don't have that problem.

1) I want to be with a woman who is half my age

2) She tricked me when after a few years she said he wants to have a family

Those aren't contradictory statements. Not all women want to have children. Granted that biologically it doesn't matter what age your partner is if you aren't going to reproduce with her, but that's just the brain looking to satisfy its desires even when they undercut the desires of the genes.

All men want women who's age is the following function.
woman's age = (man's age divided by man's age) * n
where n is some value like 16 to 22 years. That's the formula, like it or not.

Men can be just as conflicted about things.

True, but I don't think that undermines Patrick's point that men are told two contradictory things by women and one of the is a lie. Women don't like non-competitive men. Just look at women talk about Millennial men being unambitious Peter Pans and never growing up because they lack the competitive drive and the accomplishments that come from that.

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Patrick 2015 Mar 28, 2:43pm

Dan8267 says

All men want women who's age is the following function.

woman's age = (man's age divided by man's age) * n

where n is some value like 16 to 22 years. That's the formula, like it or not.

lol! at first i thought you had a typo in there.

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HydroCabron 2015 Mar 28, 2:44pm

I believe a woman who says she doesn't want children. As long as she's at least 85.

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Dan8267 2015 Mar 28, 2:56pm

HydroCabron says

I believe a woman who says she doesn't want children. As long as she's at least 85.

Obviously, you've never been to Japan. Many of the women 18-40 don't want children. And to a lesser extent, the same is happening in America. More married women in U.S. aren't having children.

It's nowhere near the predominate lifestyle, but it's a lot higher today than 40 or 100 years ago.

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Patrick 2015 Mar 28, 3:39pm

Dan8267 says

where n is some value like 16 to 22 years. That's the formula, like it or not.

to be honest, the older i get the more i appreciate "older" women as long as they are younger than i am!

35 now seems pretty young since i'm in my 40's.

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 4:47pm

tr6 says

yet also really hot

Rin, a 4-5 maybe?

Marissa Mayer, almost a 6. I think she was probably a 6-7 a decade ago but is aging faster than a guy of her age.

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Patrick 2015 Mar 28, 5:04pm

oh come on. definitely an 8 in this photo, and i'm not even into blondes.

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Patrick 2015 Mar 28, 5:22pm

I think it's silly to try to hold people back, male or female. However, when women's traits (as leaders) are viewed as inferior simply because they are different, I think that men shortchange themselves. Different situations are resolved better by certain traits.

i would never try to hold anyone back. just trying to point out the contradictory expectations on men these days.

most white american men do not view women as inferior. that's not the issue. it's that fundamental rules of the game are inborn, and you can't just will the rules to change or call them "cultural" when they are biological. men compete in the workplace to get status and resources to impress women more than for any other reason. to add in competition with women is to muddy the goals. men wonder what they are working for exactly, or if they should even work at all. and women are less attracted to men when they earn more than the men.

hmmm, i wonder what marissa's husband is like. ok, here:

he is taller, darker, and a VC. so he probably gets some credit for that. but does he got hot sex with marissa? unclear.

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 5:34pm

oh come on. definitely an 8 in this photo, and i'm not even into blondes.

Sure, and that's the result of a professional stylist and photographer. But I'd seen her, outside of the photo ops and she looks like a 6, because her age is beginning to show.

Realize, I'd been banging escorts in their 20s, so I can tell when a gal's looks start fading. And for most women, it's early 30s w/o a special diet and exercise program. For men, it's more like after 40, w/o the diet and exercise program.

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 5:48pm

Realize, I'd been banging escorts in their 20s, so I can tell when a gal's looks start fading. And for most women, it's early 30s w/o a special diet and exercise program. For men, it's more like after 40, w/o the diet and exercise program.

Here's an example of an '8' or even a '9'. She's a lingerie model, who also did some escorting ...

Flawless, tanned skin, physically fit, and was even a Pilates instructor.

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Patrick 2015 Mar 28, 6:04pm

Flawless, tanned skin, physically fit, and was even a Pilates instructor.

yes, yes, ok, i wouldn't say no, but can you talk to her?

i wouldn't care for the first hour, but after that i would. and it would get progressively more important.

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 6:14pm

Rin says

Flawless, tanned skin, physically fit, and was even a Pilates instructor.

yes, yes, ok, i wouldn't say no, but can you talk to her?

i wouldn't care for the first hour, but after that i would. and it would get progressively more important.

From my infamous dialogue with Strategist ... she had quite a bit going for her as she taught Pilates, did some nutritional counseling, edited for a magazine, was well read (plus *London University educated*), and was witty, sweet, and nice. She was an urban chic girl-next-door type.

Basically, if I were in my mid-20s, I would have probably fallen in love with her. Unfortunately, in my 20s, she would have been completely out of my league, the so-called unattainable dream girl.

Since I'm past those youthful years, it was more of an interesting experience, but not one which I'd make a barometer as to what I need or desire in life. She was hot and yes, will end up with a millionaire as his *western Geisha* gal, as she's got that blend of attractiveness and culture.

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 7:12pm

She was hot and yes, will end up with a millionaire as his *western Geisha* gal, as she's got that blend of attractiveness and culture.

Basically, what a rich VC, oilman, or banker needs to do is more or less, make a deferred annuity worth $2M to $5M dollars in the prenuptial agreement, to get a woman like this. Once that annuity is created, they can settle down, w/o a divorce turning messy.

Here's the thing, she's not just eye candy. When she'd visited Boston, prior to meeting me, the thing she was interested in seeing was the Boston Architectural Institute, not shopping at Saks 5th in downtown. Sure, she shops around but that's not the point. Also, she knew about the famous art heist at the Stewart Museum back in '90. She even showed me a Pilates move, for beginners, which didn't tax the lower back. She even knew what the best brand of red wine extract capsule there was in the USA.

These are all minor things but for a guy, who's used to hearing mundane things, it was rather refreshing. I can't see an intelligent and wealthy man not falling for her.

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anotheraccount 2015 Mar 28, 7:19pm

oh come on. definitely an 8 in this photo, and i'm not even into blondes.

I was low balling just because the media makes her look better than she is. You are right Patrick.

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Strategist 2015 Mar 28, 7:45pm

oh come on. definitely an 8 in this photo, and i'm not even into blondes.

Can we be honest here. She is a "9"
Beauty Brains Money Success and Fame. What more could a guy want.

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Strategist 2015 Mar 28, 7:48pm

he is taller, darker, and a VC. so he probably gets some credit for that. but does he got hot sex with marissa? unclear.

I would think so. If not, I'm always there to fill in the gaps.
She would not have married him otherwise. I'm sure they had sex before making a commitment.

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Strategist 2015 Mar 28, 7:51pm

Here's an example of an '8' or even a '9'. She's a lingerie model, who also did some escorting ...

Flawless, tanned skin, physically fit, and was even a Pilates instructor.

You have no appreciation of beauty Rin. She is a "9.9"
By the way, what did she cost you?

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 8:01pm

You have no appreciation of beauty Rin. She is a "9.9"

By the way, what did she cost you?

Look, Strategist, even I've got to admit defeat. This woman will never be my *significant other* and thus, I'd rather see her as a 8-9 than a perfect 10. And yes, she was beyond awesome in the sack.

As far as comparisons to Marissa, give it up. Marissa is a classic social climber, "corporate BS" artist, In contrast, my Canadian supergal, is the real deal, the perfect blend of culture and beauty. That gal will be settled with a very successful rich guy, eclipsing my paltry payout from this hedge fund.

And her rate, over time, averages to $250/hr, however, she's got a $400 hour minimum, for those who only want a single hour, to weed out the bozos from the real ones.

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Strategist 2015 Mar 28, 8:32pm

And her rate, over time, averages to $250/hr, however, she's got a $400 hour minimum, for those who only want a single hour, to weed out the bozos from the real ones.

An hour is all I need. After that I roll over and let her sleep on the wet spot. :)

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 8:43pm

An hour is all I need. After that I roll over and let her sleep on the wet spot. :)

Actually Strategist, you're wrong. This woman will set your world on fire.

She'll not only satisfy those primal desires but also, awaken aspects of yourself, you didn't know earlier. You'll want to travel the world, make love under the Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, and all that jazz.

When I was with her, I knew that she was stirring those feelings inside me, and thus, I'd kept it crisp, And didn't let the association grow, over time.

Since I wasn't the richest guy in America, I'd sensed that there was an end date to this stuff.

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Strategist 2015 Mar 28, 8:47pm

Actually Strategist, you're wrong. This woman will set your world on fire.

She'll not only satisfy those primal desires but also, awaken aspects of yourself, you didn't know earlier. You'll want to travel the world, make love under the Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, and all that jazz.

Oh God. I need her, Rin. I need her now.

When I was with her, I knew what she was stirring those feelings inside me, and thus, I'd kept it crisp, And didn't let the association grow, over time.

Since I wasn't the richest guy in America, I'd sensed that there was an end date to this stuff.

I'm disappointed in you. You could have made it last till then.

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 8:53pm

Oh God. I need her, Rin. I need her now.

Believe me, I had her and I know.

I'm disappointed in you. You could have made it last till then.

Hey, what am I suppose to do? That woman can have ... anyone she wants. And really, anyone, not some average Joe from Boston.

At most, I'm just another six figure income guy to her, in terms of building a long term portfolio. She's better off, with a guy whose already got a 7-10 figure portfolio going on.

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Patrick 2015 Mar 28, 9:25pm

he is taller, darker, and a VC. so he probably gets some credit for that. but does he got hot sex with marissa? unclear.

I would think so. If not, I'm always there to fill in the gaps.

She would not have married him otherwise. I'm sure they had sex before making a commitment.

maybe he's just a toy, someone to show off, but that she's not really into.

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Rin 2015 Mar 28, 10:02pm

maybe he's just a toy, someone to show off, but that she's not really into.

And isn't that a big piece of the problem?

That Canadian, being both, hotter than Marissa and plus, very cultured and worldly, is a far better long term GF/wife to a rich VC, than a typical social climbing corporate type like Marissa?

In the end, the divorce rate doesn't change, ppl break up, all of the time. The difference is if the VC was with the Canadian, his life would actually be rather interesting, than in just hearing about the complaints of the day at work. I don't believe that Marissa, is that much of a conversationalist.

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Shaman 2015 Mar 29, 8:35am

@turtledove
The problem with intelligent women is that they can only be truly fascinated by intelligent men with decent looks. The hot women of intelligence are even more difficult to attract, as they will further require a man to be a good prospect for earnings, physically fit, and tall. That's pretty intimidating to 95% of the men out there, and the 5% that meet the criteria are jumped on by every hetero woman who notices them. The rest of us better have something special to offer a woman with such superior genes, especially if she is also educated and motivated to succeed in life.
The tired old cliche of beta male "tricking" alpha female into marriage is a walking disaster when she wakes up and realizes what he really is. Such a superior woman will require a man to continue to be a superior man, or all bets are off.
This rule goes double for rich men.

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Rin 2015 Mar 29, 1:25pm

Quigley says

The tired old cliche of beta male "tricking" alpha female into marriage is a walking disaster when she wakes up and realizes what he really is.

If I'm not mistaken, I'd heard that these alpha females know that the male is a beta and thus, is actually purchasing a slave and not a man. And thus, his job is to be her handyman and general support staffer.

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Strategist 2015 Mar 29, 1:33pm

If I'm not mistaken, I'd heard that these alpha females know that the male is a beta and thus, is actually purchasing a slave and not a man.

Rin, I'm sure you would not mind being a sex slave of someone you would otherwise be willing to pay $2,000 per hour.

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Rin 2015 Mar 29, 1:37pm

Rin says

If I'm not mistaken, I'd heard that these alpha females know that the male is a beta and thus, is actually purchasing a slave and not a man.

Rin, I'm sure you would not mind being a sex slave of someone you would otherwise be willing to pay $2,000 per hour.

For one, she ain't paying. The man is an indentured servant. His job is to maintain the household, her business contacts, her limo service, her chaperone for formal gatherings, etc. I can't imagine many guys (aside from the full time betas) wanting that, as a lifelong condition.

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justme 2015 Mar 29, 2:18pm

1) I want the bell of the ball
2) I'm consumed by jealousy when other guys notice her, too

The above is in now way analogous to the original pair of statements by Patrick.

1. "i want the winning guy" (as it always was)
2. "men are all assholes for trying to be the winner" (recent development)

The correct analogy is

1. Men all want the belle of the ball
2. Men think women are all bitches(*) for scheming to become the belle of the ball.

Now that the proper analogy has been established, turtledove, you can see how wrong YOUR original statement is. Also, men do not GENERALLY agree with item 2. Although if men were as unreasonable and morally inconsistent as the majority of women, perhaps they should.

(*) I used the generally approved substitute for "asshole", namely "bitch". Although I think it may be time to start changing that practice.

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justme 2015 Mar 29, 3:26pm

1) I want a woman who is smart and challenges me
2) Her intelligence and ability to articulate ideas emasculates me

Correct version:

1) I want a woman who is smart (not one that challenges what is obviously correct)
2) Women who overestimate their intelligence are annoying, even more so than men, because such women so often back up their hubris with claims of sexism against any man that dares disagree with their thoughts.

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Rin 2015 Mar 29, 4:38pm

justme says

1) I want a woman who is smart (not one that challenges what is obviously correct)

I think my blurp on the Canadian model is actually what an intelligent person is, w/o the Gloria Steinem attitude.

. she had quite a bit going for her as she taught Pilates, did some nutritional counseling, edited for a magazine, was well read (plus *London University educated*), and was witty, sweet, and nice. She was an urban chic girl-next-door type.