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Two hobos were walking down a farm road, and passing a farmhouse, when one of them spotted two pies cooling on an open window sill.
The first hobo says to the second, “I’m gonna go ask to see if we can get one of those pies. You wait here, okay?†The second hobo nods and waits out of sight, salivating at the thought of eating some pie.
The first hobo knocks on the door, which is soon answered by an ugly old woman. “Ma’am, I spotted those pies on the window sill and was wondering if I could get one of them from you? I’ll work for it, if need be.†The old woman responded with “Follow me into the kitchen.â€
Once they were both in the kitchen, the old woman said “I haven’t had a man in many years, since my husband passed away. I’ll give you both of those pies if you’ll have sex with me right here, right now.†The hobo thought about it while looking around. He spotted some ears of corn on the counter near the window and had an idea.
“Well, if you’ll just turn around and bend over across the kitchen table, I’ll take care of you,†said the hobo. The old woman, excited as she was, complied instantly by pulling off her clothes and doing exactly as the hobo said.
The hobo reached behind his back, grabbed an ear of corn, shoved it in and serviced the old woman with it for at least 5 minutes. When he saw that the kernels were all soft and wet, he tossed it out the window. The old woman screamed “More, more!â€
The hobo grabbed another ear and another for the next 30 minutes. When the old woman indicated she was satisfied, she turned around and said “Okay, I promised the pies to you. Go ahead and take them. Thank you for the pleasure of your company.â€
The hobo grabbed the pies and headed out the door and found his friend near the window sill. “Hey,†he said, “here are the pies. Let’s go eat.†The other hobo looked at him and said “No thanks, I’m full. I just ate a whole bunch of hot buttered corn.â€
Ripped off from another thread:
/1306217/2017-05-17-google-photos-accidentally-misidentified-two-black-people-as-gorillas
When I worked at Lone Star Gas Company, Mr. Silvey and his wife who ran the Flame Room would have BBQ ribs, red soda pop and watermelon June Teenth (19th), the day Texas received word the slaves had been freed and everyone seemed to enjoy it: http://www.unvisiteddallas.com/archives/63
A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school.
While there the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A's. So his parents asked him, “What motivated you to do so well in school?â€
He replied, “When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign I knew they weren’t fooling around!â€
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What would you say? You don't have to actually believe what you say, it just has to be provoctive.
"Barefoot and pregnant is the way I like 'em."
"Good lord you are FAT!"
"I have a lawnmower. His name is Jose."
"Speak English"
#politics