patrick.net

My brother had an expensive and elaborate wedding and reception.

He’s still married, but he is also still working his ass off at age 70.

He has no fun.

His wife looks like a wildebeest or warthog with the same warm personality.

She has no hobbies, no activity she likes (e.g. hiking, biking, swimming, surfing, exploring, traveling, etc.)

I wonder how my brother can stand it.

Maybe when he comes home she's screaming, 'THE MONSTER! I MUST HAVE IT! FUCK MY FACE!" and he takes her on the stairs and the hallway and the kitchen table before passing out with beers in their hands, like normal people.

clambo says

His wife looks like a wildebeest or warthog with the same warm personality.

There you go, insulting wildebeests and warthogs again.

The cheaper the wedding, the same expensive divorce.
"Hey, I saved money on my divorce because he wedding was cheap!"

I got married in my backyard, my Dad presided over the ceremony. We spent about $100 on food and drink.

My wedding picture is me standing under a "Merry Christmas" sign hanging over the community center, where the night before they hosted a Christmas pageant for the City.
It was just me, my wife, her brothers and sisters, one of my brothers, and the JP doing officiating the ceremony(as it were).

clambo says

My brother had an expensive and elaborate wedding and reception.

He’s still married, but he is also still working his ass off at age 70.

He has no fun.

His wife looks like a wildebeest or warthog with the same warm personality.

She has no hobbies, no activity she likes (e.g. hiking, biking, swimming, surfing, exploring, traveling, etc.)

I wonder how my brother can stand it.

This is what happens when someone never has to work or be accountable for anything. I started seeing similar behavior in my wife and shut that shit down. She didn't want to work even though the kids were entering high school. When there's no fire to motivate someone, this is what happens.

We had a very nice wedding at wife's uncle's girlfriend's B&B.

It was not very expensive as weddings go, but we had about 100 people.

One of the best days of my life. Maybe the only party I went to where everyone wanted to talk to me, lol.

40 years this December. We decided on a Monday to get married in Vegas on that Friday because they didn't require a waiting period. One day honeymoon, then I shipped out for a 6-month deployment to the Philippines. (she joined me out there, and we've never been separated by more than a month since then.) The most expensive part was plane tickets to get to Vegas.

My wife wanted a nice wedding in an ancient church in the French Quarter. I just showed up with a rented tux. I had already moved to Cali to start a job and had been working 60 hour weeks. There is that pervasive insanity amongst women that they celebrate every scalp they acquire. They just can't help themselves.

My wedding was a fairly simple affair on the beach in Orange County. I made one of those arches, got flowers for it and her for $1000. About 100 family and friends showed up, and the catering was $5000. She had this Mexican lady, friend of her roommate make the dress for only $300. We had some entertainment, Hawaiian dancers come for $1500. Preacher fee was $300. And the county beach reservation was $300. The DJ was $500. Photographer was $1000. Total was maybe $10k, but it was a beautiful wedding and everyone had fun.
We celebrate our 16th anniversary this August and I still couldn’t be happier with my boo.

Shaman says

Hawaiian dancers come for $1500

Is this a SoCal thing? I've never been to a wedding (all in the northeast corridor), Virginia to Maine, where there were Hawaiian dancers.

Rin says

Is this a SoCal thing? I've never been to a wedding (all in the northeast corridor), Virginia to Maine, where there were Hawaiian dancers.

In the Northeast, it would be dancing Vassar lesbians.

Rin says

Shaman says

Hawaiian dancers come for $1500

Is this a SoCal thing? I've never been to a wedding (all in the northeast corridor), Virginia to Maine, where there were Hawaiian dancers.

You’re a bit too far from the islands, bruh. Our wedding had a Hawaiian theme so the dancers fit perfectly. Also my bride looks Hawaiian (half Asian), and we went to Maui for the honeymoon.

Lots of us Fred Mertz here on Patirck.net

Rin says

I've never been to a wedding (all in the northeast corridor), Virginia to Maine, where there were Hawaiian dancers.

I've never been to a wedding in the Northeast corridor that didn't serve Scungilli.

SumatraBosch says

Maybe when he comes home she's screaming, 'THE MONSTER! I MUST HAVE IT! FUCK MY FACE!" and he takes her on the stairs and the hallway and the kitchen table before passing out with beers in their hands, like normal people.

Has to be in the living room... while watching a suitable sporting event (NASCAR / MMA match / Baseball / Football) moving from the hall to the stairs to the kitchen is reserved for Sunday mornings!

Seriously though we spent under 10k all in including honeymoon.. Most of that was food (100 people at 30 a plate, sit down meal with open bar (beer & wine only) and photographer (another 3k) my wife wanted to splurge on the photos. Almost everyone else came in less than 1000... DJ, minister, flowers, limo,, etc. Etc.

But this was almost 20 years ago now. Pricing has gone up. Plus there is the "premium" for a wedding. I tried to convince the hotel it was a large family reunion and we didn't need the full white glove treatment.

I should add we are still happily married.

Tenpoundbass says

Scungilli.

That's common in Jersey and especially Rhode Island, which is an Italian seafood antipasto haven.

A bride-groom floor show at the VFW would actually bring in a decent margin if you remember to let the guests throw tips.

Remind the bride to curse copiously and shriek convincingly when she orgasms, for added badness and bigger tipness.

Don't forget, if you let the priest in on the floor show for a three-way, they'll comp you the wedding ceremony and get you a discount on the church.

I think the original post has a point.

Another point that should be made:

https://notthebee.com/article/men-and-women-please-this-thread-about-why-married-men-dont-need-to-be-friends-women-who-arent-their-wife

When I say that married men shouldn't be friends with women, I'm not saying they can't be acquaintances. At every job I've worked, the women coworkers were my acquaintances. How do I know we were only acquaintances?

When I left work for the evening we didn't call or text or hang out. After I quit the job we never spoke again. Does that sound like a friendship? Not at all. What about my wife's friends? They're not my friends. How do I know?

We don't call or text or hang out without my wife. If my wife breaks off her friendship then I'll never see her again. Going to birthday parties, church, and Christmas celebrations doesn't make us friends. We're connected by my wife, nothing more.

If I only talk to you because of… My job, My wife, An event… Then we're not friends. Remember the definition of friendship? "One who is attached to another by affection." We're not attached by affection, we are attached by a common connection.

What if I see a woman from work at the grocery store? I'll stop and say hi and make small talk out of respect, kindness, and human decency.

What if I see my wife's friend stuck on the side of the road? I'll stop and offer help out of respect, kindness, and human decency. When I get home and I see my wife I'll tell her I saw…

Your friend and helped.

So and so from work and said hi.

This is not how I treat my friends, this is how I treat acquaintances.

How do I treat my friends? We chat in the DM's. We text daily and call daily. We send memes and jokes and videos. We talk about raising kids, work, marriage, religion, and working out. We hang out and drink coffee or beer.

We are connected by affection and it drives us to talk and laugh and make memories. I'm not doing those things with…

My friends.

And My wife.

Why would I try to build an affectionate connection with a woman that's not my wife?

Should I be texting, laughing, and joking with them? Should I be treating them as "one of the boys?" Absolutely not. Women are not men and shouldn't be treated as such.

People in the comment sections and QRT's hit me with:

"So you can't have female friends because you are afraid you'll try and have sex with them?" Or "So you only ever have female friends with the intent of having sex with them?"

No, no, no, no. But these comments are worth talking about.

Should men and women protect their marriage from potential adultery? Every sane person would answer this with a "yes." Some of the best Spiritual Leaders, Politicians, and Leaders have committed adultery.

You're an idiot to say that you're immune to the possibility of it happening. "HA Got you, Reeves! You said it wasn't about sex but it is!" Is it part of the reason? Yes, of course.

Is it the whole reason? No.

I have zero attraction to some women and I still won't be their friends. If they were the last person on earth and it depended on us to repopulate the planet it wouldn't happen.

Even with zero attraction, I won't be their friend. Why?

Because I have all the female friendship I need in my wife. If I'm going to a movie, concert, coffee shop, dinner, party, or event of any kind I'm going with my wife. Why would I commit my life to one woman and then spend my free time with other women?

I don't want to do anything with them but I want to do everything with my wife. I married her because I love her and want to do everything with her. Imagine she's at home caring for the kids and I'm out drinking beers with a woman from work…

That would never happen because I'd rather have a beer with my wife. Someone commented and said, "You're missing out on all the wisdom women have to offer." No, I'm not.

My wife has a friend that's a nurse. If we have medical-related questions, we call her and talk to her.

I don't need to have female friends to get their wisdom. I can call any of my acquaintances and ask them for their wisdom and they'll gladly give it to me.

I don't have to talk to them every day or go out for coffee for them to be kind or helpful.

Someone else said: "My best friend of 6 years is a girl If I married a woman, what would happen between us in your eyes? Genuine question I'm really curious"

If this was me, she wouldn't be my friend anymore. Harsh? Maybe for some. If she was so great, why didn't you marry her? What does she have to offer you that your wife doesn't? I had female friends before I got married and once I got married we stopped being friends.

My attention was shifted to the woman I committed my life to. If they called me, would I answer? Yes. If they needed help would we help them? Yes. But I'm not going out of my way to choose them instead of my wife.

Most of the QRTs and hate on this concept come from people who see no difference between men and women. Men and women are not the same and shouldn't be treated as such. My wife doesn't have male friends and I don't have female friends.

We've been happily married for 12 years and I've never once had an issue with any of my female acquaintances. This is solid advice and you'd be a fool to disregard it.

I agree.

ill be married forever yeah!!!!!

clambo says

His wife looks like a wildebeest or warthog with the same warm personality.

rofl my buddy calls his wife the very same animal names.

FortwayeAsFuckJoeBiden says

ill be married forever yeah!!!!!

Maybe coin a new term - "Zircon Marriage." for cheap ceremony up front but lasts for life.

I agree...but these people are breaking the trend....

According to Guinness World Records, the most expensive wedding ever officially recorded took place in Versailles, France in 2004, and racked up an eye-watering $55m (£42.4m) price tag. The happy bride and groom were Vanisha Mittal and Amit Bhatia. Vanisha’s father is the Indian billionaire steel tycoon Lakshmi Mittal who was, at the time, the third richest person in the world, making him well suited to pick up the bill for his only daughter’s big day.

Anyone who indulges in the dream ($$$$$) wedding is committing to a virtually insurmountable set of expectations. The rest of the marriage can never live up to the wedding day - it can only be a step down and a disappointment. I'd rather the wedding day be the worst day of the marriage - then it can only get better.

If you're going to spend that much money, you might as well practice Rinwah Law.

stereotomy says

Anyone who indulges in the dream ($$$$$) wedding is committing to a virtually insurmountable set of expectations. The rest of the marriage can never live up to the wedding day - it can only be a step down and a disappointment. I'd rather the wedding day be the worst day of the marriage - then it can only get better.

If you're going to spend that much money, you might as well practice Rinwah Law.

I agree with that.

Is that really necessary to present “diamond” in US to get married. Now a days there is no way to determining diamond vs some rock made in the lab.

I would say both myself and my closely group of 10 or so friends (people I’ve known for decades)… 8 of us spent something like $20-25k on our weddings hosting about 100-200 people

The last two friends spent $200k each, both at the Ritz but they could afford it.

All 10 presented their soon to be wives with diamond. So far all 10 are still together in what is approaching a decade of marriage for everyone I mention above.

Blue says

Is that really necessary to present “diamond” in US to get married. Now a days there is no way to determining diamond vs some rock made in the lab.

I don’t have a problem with someone buying a diamond for someone they care about…

I have issue with women demanding a diamond of a certain expense or else no marriage…

That’s not caring or loving, that is pure abuse and usury of a person

Blue says

Now a days there is no way to determining diamond vs some rock made in the lab.

Unless they fixed this "problem", a lab grown diamond would fluoresce in ultra-violet light. It's just a bunch of carbon, and diamonds aren't a "precious" stone, they are semi-precious. The only reason they have such a high value is because of DeBeers which is the cartel that controls them.

richwicks says

Blue says

Now a days there is no way to determining diamond vs some rock made in the lab.

Unless they fixed this "problem", a lab grown diamond would fluoresce in ultra-violet light. It's just a bunch of carbon, and diamonds aren't a "precious" stone, they are semi-precious. The only reason they have such a high value is because of DeBeers which is the cartel that controls them.

Yes sapphires and emeralds are actually precious

Robber Baron Elite Scum says

Yes sapphires and emeralds are actually precious

I suspect you're being sarcastic, but these are lab grown as well. Their value plummeted when they could be lab grown.

There's precious stones still, and some would be very hard to duplicate in the lab, but something that looks just like it can often be.

BayArea says

I would say both myself and my closely group of 10 or so friends (people I’ve known for decades)… 8 of us spent something like $20-25k on our weddings hosting about 100-200 people

The last two friends spent $200k each, both at the Ritz but they could afford it.

All 10 presented their soon to be wives with diamond. So far all 10 are still together in what is approaching a decade of marriage for everyone I mention above.

We did about 300 people. Held it at a Knights of Columbus school gym in the country. Had connections, but had a band, photographer, food (obviously) and the $200 fee to rent the space. We did a lot of the work ourselves with some volunteer help, but I think we managed somehow to do $15k for that amount of people. My parents paid for the band. So I guess $17k. Church was a historical site and not active so it was basically a $100 fee for that and no church BS with meeting the pastor. I don't have a religious bone in my body.

We had two bartender friends serve mixed drinks from the booze we bought and a beer keg trailer. To this day almost everyone I'm still friends with says it was the best wedding. It was a party. Most our friends then went to my families campground and we got wasted until 4am. Wife slept in her wedding dress as she was exhausted. Left the next day to Saugatuck, MI and stayed in my bosses house for a long weekend as a "honeymoon". Did the official one about six months later which ended up resulting in our love for USVI and BVI and the Caribbean. Was really a good reflecting on it.

Food is the biggest issue/cost. Booze, if allowed to bring in, you can handle pretty cheaply and have an open bar that you set up. Make sure to buy from a liquor/grocery store that allows booze returns. Most don't, but you can hunt them down. You can do weddings pretty cheap if you're crafty. Most people don't have the event planning skills though. My wife could plan any event and make it a great time. As an introvert she's really, really changed my social behavior in a good way. I have more friends than I want, but that's a good things. I just suck at staying connected with all of them.

Robber Baron Elite Scum says

richwicks says

Blue says

Now a days there is no way to determining diamond vs some rock made in the lab.

Unless they fixed this "problem", a lab grown diamond would fluoresce in ultra-violet light. It's just a bunch of carbon, and diamonds aren't a "precious" stone, they are semi-precious. The only reason they have such a high value is because of DeBeers which is the cartel that controls them.

Yes sapphires and emeralds are actually precious

🤣. This comment made me spit my cereal all over the computer screen. Bravo

Patrick says

Some of the best Spiritual Leaders

Billy Graham had a policy to never be alone with a woman whom he was counseling.

I'd say that no woman should be alone with any man she does not intend to have sex with.

This is an old traditional rule most places on earth, and for good reason.

The converse would be that no man has ever has the right to insist that a woman be alone with him.

I went to annual gem show few times over the years at San Mateo, ca. The choices are unimaginable under each known category and it’s (new!) variants. If it looks good, very likely it is treated with chemicals. At least some sellers agreed openly. After massive technological improvements in the lab made stones, it make no sense to still looking for “natural” stones. In supply chain no one knows what is lab made or treated vs natural. Bought good looking “emerald” for about $350 that I thought few grands. Prices plummeted like a falling rock. It’s a good news. But sellers still can get top $$ with their jargon targeting particularly women to sell their junk.

Still way cheaper to just not get married.