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The Cheaper The Wedding...The Longer The Marriage


               
2021 Jul 27, 6:04am   4,783 views  54 comments

by ohomen171   follow (2)  

#cheapweddings Let's have some fun with numbers today. Every four years the World Cup is played. Every four years the Financial Times of London assembles a team of brilliant statisticians and mathematicians. They rent time on the best supercomputer available. The goal is to predict the winner of the World Cup. They come close but never get it right.
The distinguished media and financial services company Bloomberg has waded into the numbers game. They have analyzed a large amount of data on marriages, divorces, and the cost of the wedding. They came up with an astounding conclusion as follows:

"The cheaper the wedding, the longer the marriage."

The total cost of my wedding to Elena in February of 2001 was as follows:
Contribution to Cross Roads Bible Church: $200.00
Webvan for wedding treats: $ 50.00
Pastor Samuel Nandakumar presided at the wedding. Two of our readers were there-Joao and Djenane Santos. My platonic roommate Jacqui Kwon was there. (She has since returned to South Korea.) I got the feeling that no one there thought that the union would last that long.
Sadly, I have been to the weddings of several dear friends. They were elaborate and expensive events. Those unions did not last. There may be something to what Bloomberg said.

Comments 1 - 18 of 54       Last »     Search these comments

1   clambo   @   2021 Jul 27, 7:44am  

My brother had an expensive and elaborate wedding and reception.

He’s still married, but he is also still working his ass off at age 70.

He has no fun.

His wife looks like a wildebeest or warthog with the same warm personality.

She has no hobbies, no activity she likes (e.g. hiking, biking, swimming, surfing, exploring, traveling, etc.)

I wonder how my brother can stand it.
2   SumatraBosch   @   2021 Jul 27, 7:47am  

Maybe when he comes home she's screaming, 'THE MONSTER! I MUST HAVE IT! FUCK MY FACE!" and he takes her on the stairs and the hallway and the kitchen table before passing out with beers in their hands, like normal people.
3   Ceffer   @   2021 Jul 27, 8:04am  

clambo says
His wife looks like a wildebeest or warthog with the same warm personality.

There you go, insulting wildebeests and warthogs again.
4   Ceffer   @   2021 Jul 27, 8:06am  

The cheaper the wedding, the same expensive divorce.
"Hey, I saved money on my divorce because he wedding was cheap!"
5   fdhfoiehfeoi   @   2021 Jul 27, 8:24am  

I got married in my backyard, my Dad presided over the ceremony. We spent about $100 on food and drink.
6   Tenpoundbass   @   2021 Jul 27, 9:02am  

My wedding picture is me standing under a "Merry Christmas" sign hanging over the community center, where the night before they hosted a Christmas pageant for the City.
It was just me, my wife, her brothers and sisters, one of my brothers, and the JP doing officiating the ceremony(as it were).
7   porkchopXpress   @   2021 Jul 27, 9:32am  

clambo says
My brother had an expensive and elaborate wedding and reception.

He’s still married, but he is also still working his ass off at age 70.

He has no fun.

His wife looks like a wildebeest or warthog with the same warm personality.

She has no hobbies, no activity she likes (e.g. hiking, biking, swimming, surfing, exploring, traveling, etc.)

I wonder how my brother can stand it.
This is what happens when someone never has to work or be accountable for anything. I started seeing similar behavior in my wife and shut that shit down. She didn't want to work even though the kids were entering high school. When there's no fire to motivate someone, this is what happens.
8   Patrick   @   2021 Jul 27, 10:13am  

We had a very nice wedding at wife's uncle's girlfriend's B&B.

It was not very expensive as weddings go, but we had about 100 people.

One of the best days of my life. Maybe the only party I went to where everyone wanted to talk to me, lol.
9   rocketjoe79   @   2021 Jul 27, 11:10am  

40 years this December. We decided on a Monday to get married in Vegas on that Friday because they didn't require a waiting period. One day honeymoon, then I shipped out for a 6-month deployment to the Philippines. (she joined me out there, and we've never been separated by more than a month since then.) The most expensive part was plane tickets to get to Vegas.
10   Ceffer   @   2021 Jul 27, 11:11am  

My wife wanted a nice wedding in an ancient church in the French Quarter. I just showed up with a rented tux. I had already moved to Cali to start a job and had been working 60 hour weeks. There is that pervasive insanity amongst women that they celebrate every scalp they acquire. They just can't help themselves.
11   Shaman   @   2021 Jul 27, 11:35am  

My wedding was a fairly simple affair on the beach in Orange County. I made one of those arches, got flowers for it and her for $1000. About 100 family and friends showed up, and the catering was $5000. She had this Mexican lady, friend of her roommate make the dress for only $300. We had some entertainment, Hawaiian dancers come for $1500. Preacher fee was $300. And the county beach reservation was $300. The DJ was $500. Photographer was $1000. Total was maybe $10k, but it was a beautiful wedding and everyone had fun.
We celebrate our 16th anniversary this August and I still couldn’t be happier with my boo.
12   Rin   @   2021 Jul 27, 11:50am  

Shaman says
Hawaiian dancers come for $1500


Is this a SoCal thing? I've never been to a wedding (all in the northeast corridor), Virginia to Maine, where there were Hawaiian dancers.
13   Ceffer   @   2021 Jul 27, 11:53am  

Rin says
Is this a SoCal thing? I've never been to a wedding (all in the northeast corridor), Virginia to Maine, where there were Hawaiian dancers.

In the Northeast, it would be dancing Vassar lesbians.
14   Shaman   @   2021 Jul 27, 12:09pm  

Rin says
Shaman says
Hawaiian dancers come for $1500


Is this a SoCal thing? I've never been to a wedding (all in the northeast corridor), Virginia to Maine, where there were Hawaiian dancers.


You’re a bit too far from the islands, bruh. Our wedding had a Hawaiian theme so the dancers fit perfectly. Also my bride looks Hawaiian (half Asian), and we went to Maui for the honeymoon.
15   Tenpoundbass   @   2021 Jul 27, 12:48pm  

Lots of us Fred Mertz here on Patirck.net
16   Tenpoundbass   @   2021 Jul 27, 12:50pm  

Rin says
I've never been to a wedding (all in the northeast corridor), Virginia to Maine, where there were Hawaiian dancers.


I've never been to a wedding in the Northeast corridor that didn't serve Scungilli.
17   GreaterNYCDude   @   2021 Jul 27, 3:05pm  

SumatraBosch says
Maybe when he comes home she's screaming, 'THE MONSTER! I MUST HAVE IT! FUCK MY FACE!" and he takes her on the stairs and the hallway and the kitchen table before passing out with beers in their hands, like normal people.


Has to be in the living room... while watching a suitable sporting event (NASCAR / MMA match / Baseball / Football) moving from the hall to the stairs to the kitchen is reserved for Sunday mornings!

Seriously though we spent under 10k all in including honeymoon.. Most of that was food (100 people at 30 a plate, sit down meal with open bar (beer & wine only) and photographer (another 3k) my wife wanted to splurge on the photos. Almost everyone else came in less than 1000... DJ, minister, flowers, limo,, etc. Etc.

But this was almost 20 years ago now. Pricing has gone up. Plus there is the "premium" for a wedding. I tried to convince the hotel it was a large family reunion and we didn't need the full white glove treatment.
18   GreaterNYCDude   @   2021 Jul 27, 3:13pm  

I should add we are still happily married.

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