patrick.net

File this under products made necessary by CIC.

CIC flew to India to buy a two-headed goat. Unfortunately, when he got there, he found out it was the wrong head.

CIC is right. He's not just a goat man. He fancies all the farm animals.

Here's one of his romps with a sheep and a cow.

A couple having a romantic picnic told how they witnessed CIC – naked except for his socks and swigging from a can of lager – trying to get a cow to perform a sex act on him.

When the bemused cow wandered off he turned his attentions to a flock of sheep.

During the case, horrified witness Lawrence Stephen, 23, told the court: "He seemed like he was very comfortable with what he was doing - as if it was normal.

"He was trying to thrust his waist towards the cows and using his hands to get the cow's mouth towards his crotch.

"I can't remember him forcing the cow - he wasn't actually grabbing the cow, but he was trying what he could."

The cows wandered off into the next field, leaving CIC to walk over towards some sheep, clutching a can of Skol and a Sainsbury's carrier bag with his clothes in, the court heard. The bag also contained an adult nappy.

The couple then said CIC tried to have sex with one sheep from behind.

"I don't know what he was trying to do but it seems he was trying to get some sort of sexual act performed from sheep,' Mr Stephen said.

"I felt sick for what was happening, it sort of disturbed me. I felt worried about him. Also it is not right to do that to animals, you know?"

Ironman says

Do

Ironman says

i

Ironman says

like

Ironman says

sex with animals?

Ironman says

Your previous post proves that!!

Ironman says

Anyone who

Ironman says

is

Ironman says

fucked by goats

Ironman says

is really disturbed!!

Dan you really should not marry livestock.

Says the guy whose avatar is a pretend cowboy.

1. I weigh less than you.
2. I'm straight and thus not homophobic like you.
3. What you call nerds everyone else calls intelligent men with six figure incomes and tons of disposable money. So go back to servicing that New Jersey turnpike bathroom glory hole for quarters.
4. Old people in Boca drive Mercedes, not sports cars. In fact, old people in general don't drive sport cars or convertibles. Still, your obsession with my car betrays your jealousy.

So, what have we learned here. You are jealous because I'm wealthier, better looking, and have nicer things than you. Well, maybe if you studied in school instead of playing naked leap frog with goats, you'd have had a better career and wouldn't be such a loser. Then again, maybe you were destined to be a loser since your mother drank so much why carrying you.

Honey, we all know who the real liar on PatNet is. No matter how many times you repeat your bullshit, it doesn't get more believable.

I have had enough of Call It Crazy sexually abusing animals in the State of New Jersey!

Yep, in response to Call It Crazy, Christ Christie has signed a bill that makes it illegal to rape animals in the state of New Jersey much to the relief of many a worried forest critter and farm animal, not to mention millions of family pets.

Sexual contact with an animal is now punishable by as many as 18 months in prison and a fine of as much as $10,000. Harsher penalties are possible if the animal dies from the abuse.

Unfortunately, all this came too late for Fluffy.

Let's not even get into all the things you have on your hands.

Playing that cowardly game again? Too chicken-shit to show up at Georgie's? How about you post the hotel and room you're staying at, or better yet, the address of cardboard box you occupy in New Jersey?

Then post your address so we can meet. I'm not giving a psycho like you my address. There are families with pet dogs in my neighborhood that don't deserve what you'd do with them.

Are you too chickenshit to give out your address?

Can't you two just keep insulting each other without making it personal??

So, give your New Jersey address and give the name and room number of your hotel or the place you're staying, chickendick.

Now what does it hurt for you to give out your address if your so eager to meet? You got nothing to lose unless your homeless and ashamed of it. You certainly have nothing to lose by giving out the hotel room you're staying out.

I don't care how long you are staying in Florida. Just say where you are staying and when and I'll make it to you. Why are you so chicken-shit you cannot even do that? You don't know when I'll be at home and neither do I. It would be so convenient to meet up wherever you are staying. So why are you pussying out?

I mean, you're the one who's so interested in meeting up. I'm only willing to do this to snap a photo of you and show everyone how fat, ugly, and depressing you are. But hey, if you want to go through with that, you have to give your address.

You never gave your address. Why so shy if you really want to meet? Why can't you even give the hotel room where you are allegedly staying? How the fuck do you expect to meet up if you aren't willing to give your location?

Looks like your a pussy. You won't be in my driveway. You'll be at a hotel. So what's the address and room number?

How are you even going to know when to meet me? What time of the day were you planning on showing up at my door and expecting me to be there? It would make so much more sense for you to give me YOUR schedule and we can accommodate that. Unless, of course, you are full of shit and just lying again.

Yes, and in passing by, you'll probably be going by at a time when I'm not at home. So it makes more sense for you to give the address of your destination and a time when you'll be there. This should be easy since you'll already have that planned out. So go ahead and tell us what that address and time are.

So, you expect me to give you my home address so that you can show up at some unspecified time on some unspecified day at my doorstep? Even if that was appealing, it would not work. First, my neighborhood has a strict no pedophile policy. Second, you couldn't get pass the gate without me ringing you in, and there is no way I'm giving you my phone number. I don't need you drunk dialing me every time you get horny and there's no goat nearby. Oh, you didn't realize that half the communities in south Florida are gated? Dumb ass. Besides, how would I even know to ring you in without even knowing your name?

And why exactly can't you just give the address and date of the place your staying if you want to meet so bad? The only coward here is you. How do you expect to retain anonymity and still meet up? I'd have to at least know which fat ass to look for. I suppose I could just hang out at the Miami zoo and wait for the cops to arrest someone for spanking the monkeys, but there must be faster ways to identify you.

Fucked By Goats Ironman says

he's unstable and seems to have a real hard-on for you

Obviously. That's why he wants to show up in the middle of the night unexpected. Maybe I need to invest in

Ironman says

I can calculate when I'll be passing by at tell you.

Calculate it now and post it.

Ironman says

I'm going to be 4 hours away

Honey, there's no place in South Florida that's 4 hours away from me. Not even motherfucking Key West. You staying in Key West? Sure, I'll go down there for a day trip. Been there many times. Where are you staying?

[CIC posts chicken-shit excuse in 3, 2, 1...]

Ironman says

Did I say I was staying in South Florida?

You driving to Cuba? Your story is becoming less and less plausible the more you talk.

So you are sure you'll be driving by my house, but you're going someplace four hours away, which puts you in the Atlantic Ocean or far, far north of Orlando, so why would you be driving around in Boca?

Ironman says

If you have the flexibility in your schedule to take a day trip to Key West, you certainly have the flexibility to adjust your schedule to meet in your driveway and not have to kill a whole day...

Oh, I was under the impression that you were going to be in Florida for at least several days. No, I don't plan on waiting 24/7 for you to show up at my gate, but that doesn't mean I can't show up where you are staying. Oh wait, you're making this whole thing up, aren't you?

Wow, I've never met a stalker who's too much of a pussy to even meet up with his prey. Then again, I'll never meet you because you're such a coward. That's the real reason you're not giving the hotel room where you are staying or a mobile phone number to reach you.

And why are you so keen on coming to my house? Have you finally come to accept your closeted desires? Sorry, but if I were gay, I'd want a real man, not a boy loser like you.

Must be. According to Google maps, he'd have to be driving from south Florida all the way north to Jacksonville by the Georgia border in order to be four hours away from me. Why would a guy who lives in NJ be driving north from south Florida to Jacksonville? His story doesn't add up. I don't know how, but I'm sure goats and cows are involved.

Maybe CIC is moving now that Christie signed that bill outlawing bestiality? That can't be a coincidence. Bestiality is a misdemeanor in Florida. That may explain his sudden interest in driving through the entire state.

Gotta say, with all due respect, that's a terrible idea, skating into Roberto territory again. Meet up at an agreed upon busy, public location not called Georgie's. Also I have no idea what this has to do with modern feminism at Yale.

It seems a bit threatening to ask for the address of someone who seems to have a lot of animosity for you and vice versa. Even if he was your friend, not having met him in person before, it would be better to meet at a public location like a coffeeshop. Seems obvious, but this back and forth is reaching a comical level of stupidity.

I once asked finehoe to meet me at an MMA gym halfway between Baltimore and DC. He also did not oblige.

Ironman says

You give me your address and I'll be able to tell you when I'm passing by. Is that so difficult to understand.

The college professor got what he deserved by interacting with students outside of the classroom. He should of just shut his mouth and asked the chancellor to expel all the troublemakers on campus.

So Call it Cowardice is chickening out again. Honey, as much as you think you've gotten me "fired up", I enjoyed making you look like a chicken-shit ass and laughing at you the whole time. Still to cowardly to give the hotel room your staying at? That's pathetic. You look like a four-year-old throwing a tantrum impotent to express his frustrations at not getting what he wants. But then again, impotence is a long-time friend of yours.

Fucked By Goats Ironman says

There is no thread in which CIC participates that doesn't ultimately reach a comic level of stupidity before he runs away to another thread to begin anew.

Truer words have never been uttered.

I'll gladly give you a neutral address at which to meet once you post an actual picture of yourself so I know who I'm meeting. Not willing to meet at a neutral address? Then you're a pussy.

Feminists and overprivileged liberal women have stupid issues, especially when that time of the month kicks in, it's why so few sane people ever care to listen to them.

Ironman says

OK. Here you go, here's my picture:

-



-

Now post your address.

10880 Malibu Point, Malibu, CA

Once again, CIC has proven himself a coward of the highest degree. He obsessively begs me for my home address in order to "meet me" but refuses to even show his ugly face. Boy, I must have really caused him a lot of pain for him to be so obsessive.

Why the fuck should I post my address? You clearly aren't planning on meeting up or otherwise
1. You would be willing to meet at any address including a bar.
2. You wouldn't be so adverse to showing your ugly face, something you'd have to do in an actual face-to-face meeting.

It's quite obvious that you only want my address to do some online stalking because I so infuriate you by pointing out your lies, your incompetences, and your general lack of a life -- hell, why else would someone be so hellbent on "meeting" a person they don't like and only interacted with on the Internet? Get over your butthurt.

But hey, prove me wrong. Post your address, phone number, or real-world name. Not willing to do that hypocrite? Of course not. You're just an overweight, pimply, sexually frustrated loser with no friends and nothing to brag about in real life, so you go around the Internet trolling wherever you can. And that's why you have no intention of showing up in real life at a neutral location. Just like you chicken-shitted out last time.

I called your bluff and look like a cowardly dumb ass. The only way to save any face now is to admit your cowardice or put your address online. You are never, ever going to get my home address, you miserable little troll. The fact you want it so bad is all the evidence we need that you spend your nights crying in bed over all the things I've said about you.

Why CIC is such a basic bitch.

An entertaining exchange indeed! Bland bland 1944.

Ironman says

I'll refresh your memory, last time I was in Florida I posted my flight schedule and even posted the receipt from dinner that I was truly in the area. All you did was hide out.

when are you going to admit you called Roberto's school? coward

CIC claims he's driving past Boca Raton, FL to some place 4 hours away, which could only be north since even Key West is a mere 3 hours away. So, allegedly he's driving from South Florida up to Georgia even though he lives in New Jersey. What, is he flying to Miami and then driving up the entire state of Florida? Clearly, he is a bold-face liar, and not a very smart one at that.

CIC just isn't clever enough to pull off a lie. He's a sad little troll whose life is so devoid of meaning that he obsesses over strangers he encounters on the Internet earning him The World's Biggest Loser award.

CIC, desperation does not smell good. But then again, neither does goat semen, but that has never stopped you.

Dan8267 says

CIC claims he's driving past Boca Raton, FL to some place 4 hours away, which could only be north since even Key West is a mere 3 hours away.

Here's what I think would be nice--if CIC could get to Dan's place Saturday night, then they could go to Sunday school and church at Dan's church the next day.

Dan8267 says

Honey

I love the "honey" part:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/e5AjSGrZbxw

P N Dr Lo R says

Dan8267 says

Honey

I love the "honey" part:

It's actually a reference to a minor character on How I Met Your Mother and is my way of being condescending in the face of sheer stupidity.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Q_0mSuUNVRE

Dan8267 says

is my way of being condescending in the face of sheer stupidity

I know it is usually used that way, but it reminded me of this skit.

Oh honey, why so obsessed with my address when you aren't even planing on stopping by. We all know what you want to do. You want to "swat" my address, which would earn you a 25-year prison sentence like your fellow sexually frustrated trolls. Honey, it's not going to work no matter how pathetically you beg. Your persistent pestering just demonstrates how sad you are, how desperate you are, and what little you have in real life.

However, if you are so desperate to meet me, we can meet in a nice hotel bar or other public venture. I'd need to know who you are though in order to meet you. How about your mobile number or a real picture of you. I know you're disgusting looking, but if we're going to meet, I have to know which pimply face lard-ball I'm looking for.

Fucked By Goats Ironman says

AND A DOG!!!! DON'T YOU EVER, EVER FORGET THE DOG!!!!

I'm well aware that CIC has a "wife".