▲
1
0
▼

Surviving Spouse Questions:


 invite response                
2015 Mar 30, 9:15am   3,439 views  6 comments

by CL   ➕follow (1)   💰tip   ignore  

My father-in-law passed away last week, and we've just returned from the funeral. He was a veteran, an investor and both he and the surviving spouse (my mother-in-law) were Senior citizens and on Social Security and Medicare, although from what I understand if she was ever employed it was only very briefly. She's not financially literate.

I assume many of you have gone through similar events. Are there any gotchas or "if-I-had-only-known-then-what-I-know-nows?" Any words of wisdom?

I don't have the Power of Attorney (one of his daughters do, and she's a CPA), but I'd like to help her navigate the waters if I can. They have mentioned getting the mother signed up for Meals On Wheels. Nutrition and safety/welfare checks seem like a good idea, since she seems quite frail and the home has 3 levels and several stairs.

Thanks!

Comments 1 - 6 of 6        Search these comments

1   CL   2015 Mar 30, 1:59pm  

Thanks. I wonder if there are mistakes people make in the Death Certificates, paying for the funeral (are there VA benefits to be aware of?), or Social Security?

I guess with SSA, you likely need to make an appointment and bring a cert. They've seen more than a few people die before I reckon.

It seems like if I can space out visits from the maids, MOW, and her Physical therapist it might give her good welfare/safety-check coverage.

2   CL   2015 Mar 30, 4:46pm  

Thanks for the help. All good questions and points. I'll discuss it with the POA person.
He was a fairly organized and orderly old conservative. But you still turn over some interesting rocks, and it hasn't even been a week. Call it Crazy says

The toughest part (for the POA) is going in and trying to unravel all this financial stuff. We had to do it for my brother-in-law that died unexpectedly and I went through in with my father's estate last year... It's not fun...

And that's why I'm trying to help in any way I can. I don't even her! Thanks again. Feel free to throw any random remembrances in here if the mood strikes you.

3   elliemae   2015 Mar 30, 6:14pm  

I have 25+ years experience working with the elderly. I'm sorry you & your family are going thru this, it's tough.

1) Social Security Benefits for Surviving Spouse: http://www.socialsecurity.gov/pubs/EN-05-10084.pdf
2) Meals on Wheels isn't quite the program it used to be. Used to be fresh meals brought daily to seniors so that someone was checking in on them daily. Now in most areas it's a weeks (or two) worth of frozen meals dropped off. The frozen food isn't the greatest - you can buy "Healthy Choice" meals that taste better and are more nutritious, if you live nearby.
3) A "Lifeline" unit is awesome in case of emergency - and can be set up so that the senior has to deactivate it daily or a family member will be called.
4) If he was a veteran, depending upon her income and assets she might qualify for Veteran's Aid & Attendance to pay for in-home care. For more info, go to www.veteranaid.org. The downside is that the program takes over a year before the monies are awarded. However, if she is eligible, a company such as Veteran's Home Care (http://www.veteranshomecare.com/) might be the answer. It fronts the money (by providing care) and when the $ are finally awarded, the company is paid back. You must use an in-home care agency with which they contract, and they will only help if it's a no-brainer that she is eligible.
5) Regarding the A&A, the program does not operate by the same rules as Medicaid. If she has more assets, she can set up a trust and divest herself of the assets for the purpose of receiving the veteran's assistance (about $1,200/mo).

My advice to you - see if there is a Geriatric Care Manager in your area. They can help you set up a plan to help the Mom-in-law remain independent. http://www.caremanager.org/. They charge an hourly rate - and are knowledgeable about resources available in the area. They can help set up a living alone plan with your mother-in-law that will allow her to remain independent, yet help to keep her safe.

Also - if you need to set up a trust or move anything around, make an appointment with an Attorney who specializes in Elder Law to get their opinion. NOT ESTATE PLANNING! They can help you understand Medicaid, VA and any other senior issues. They're pricey (as are most attorneys), but worth it if the benefits outweigh the costs.

Finally, make sure that the family monitors mom for her financial decisions (while treating her with respect). There are so many scammers out there, and my experience has been that the elderly not only are easy targets but often are too embarrassed to tell their children about financial matters until it's too late. Good luck

5   CL   2015 Apr 1, 9:28am  

Thanks Ellie! I've forwarded on the info to the POA. You are a precious person! Thanks for the past and current help.

6   elliemae   2015 Apr 1, 9:10pm  

You're welcome. Feel free to ask any further questions - I check patnet a couple of times a week. Can't quite cut the cord.

Please register to comment:

api   best comments   contact   latest images   memes   one year ago   random   suggestions