patrick.net
An Antidote to Corporate Media
1,265,013 comments by 15,127 users - Blue, Ceffer, stereotomy online now
In a nutshell, Star Wars 7 is mediocre & unoriginal
invite response
2015 Dec 27, 8:54pm 15,802 views 29 comments
Comments 1 - 29 of 29 Search these comments
star wars is infantilistic junk, and ought to be a groupthink case study.
Rin
2015 Dec 27, 9:35pm
Both Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Voyager added something to the mythos of the series. If every single one of Picard's or Janeway's exploits was a re-play of the Bones/Kirk/Spock brotherly love triangle with some aspect of 'City on the Edge of Forever' or some other 1st series episode, those two followup series would have been retarded flops.
What's happening here is actually that, a high glossing flop. In place of finding a way to advance the SW story, the writers are retreading old ground and basically, rehashing stuff we'd already seen but with a more politically correct crowd, then simply a bunch of ordinary white Americans.
And no, the excess focus on Seven of Nine's boobs doesn't change the fact that Voyager was different from the first series.
Ceffer
2015 Dec 27, 11:04pm
DieBankOfAmericaPhukkingDie says
The chick was too skinny and would have been much more effective as a pair of hott! killer lesbians who murder a baddie and fuck every seven minutes or so.
That would have been a very thoughtful plot twist. If Carrie Fisher looks that bad, now, shouldn't they have given her role a bit of imaginative reconfiguration as "Jabba the Immense Hirsute Lesbian", destroying planets with her "Death Vagina"?
justme
2015 Dec 27, 11:14pm
The young one, in this case a girl instead of a boy, learning the ways of the force, also from that same desert planet. But this time, with zero training, she picks up the skills of a trained Jedi, by intuition alone.
So it is just another sci-fi chick-flick of female empowerment? Imagine that, a beautiful girl learns to harness "the force" simply by applying her female intuition. No wonder this space opera is going to be popular with a female audience.
Stepping back a little, I am completely befuddled that people do not realize that star wars is just one gigantic pander-fest specifically designed by Hollywood screenwriters to satisfy the seemingly unbounded vanity of the masses.
I'm putting up my shield now, fire away.
Ceffer
2015 Dec 27, 11:19pm
So it is just another sci-fi chick-flick of female empowerment? Imagine that, a beautiful girl learns to harness "the force" simply by applying her female intuition. No wonder this space opera is going to be popular with a female audience.
Yeah, requires too much suspension of reality, or they should just add it to the "Lost in Space" franchise.
Rin
2015 Dec 28, 7:29am
More spoilers ...
DieBankOfAmericaPhukkingDie says
What the Star Wars franchise needs to do is replace the empire's storm troopers
Speaking of so-called Storm Troopers, the first two trilogies, all 6 movies, established that they were clones. I repeat CLONES!
In this movie, we discover that one of them was a formerly kidnapped black child from some village. Again, WTF! Has Star Wars overlapped with Alex Haley's Root or the story of Frederick Douglass.
Rin
2015 Dec 28, 7:31am
DieBankOfAmericaPhukkingDie says
The chick was too skinny and would have been much more effective as a pair of hott! killer lesbians who murder a baddie and fuck every seven minutes or so.
I thought she was roughly as skinny as let's say Milla Jovovich in 'Resident Evil' but shorter.
Rin
2015 Dec 28, 10:27am
In this movie, we discover that one of them was a formerly kidnapped black child from some village. Again, WTF! Has Star Wars overlapped with Alex Haley's Root or the story of Frederick Douglass.
Let me help J.J. Abrams on this topic, look no further than his predecessor's work, Spielberg's 'Amistad', from 18 years ago on this topic...
www.youtube.com/embed/5Kk5iXZFaCQ
Sorry J.J. ... wrong century and wrong star system for your insipid interjection into Pan-African slavery. Let's keep the SW saga and the problems of a distant star system, in their respective timelines, ok?
Tenpoundbass
2015 Dec 28, 2:09pm
it was that Harrison Ford's screen presence, which sold the trilogy to an audience who wanted a real action hero, along the lines of a Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen, etc, not, the rants of a stupid "D" actor of Mark Hamill, who never got a serious role after Star Wars. BTW, this is a fact. Hamill's career never went anywhere after SW.
I was thinking about that the other day.
Harrison was the bad boy rebel who a chick risked life and limb to rescue. Mark Hamil Cried on screen. That killed his career, that was the Genesis of Hollywood trying to sell Men getting in touch with their inner feelings. And we weren't quite ready for it. Grown Men don't cry, and Mark will never work in this town again! Luke was a little light in the sky walkers if you ask me.
FortWayne
2015 Dec 28, 2:14pm
i saw the commercial, haven't seen the film yet. Is new Luke Skywalker a young black man? Or is he another character?
Ceffer
2015 Dec 28, 2:16pm
Barfalicious Political Correctness Fantasy seems to be served up in heaping, steaming messes in virtually every Hollywood production. The Sci Fi is more believable.
Rin
2015 Dec 28, 7:39pm
Is new Luke Skywalker a young black man?
No, that's the young girl.
Or is he another character?
Yes, he's Djimon Hounsou's character from 'Amistad' ...
"GIVE US FREE! GIVE US FREE! GIVE US FREE!"
Maga_Chaos_Monkey
2015 Dec 29, 10:20pm
Rin I agree completely. I'd wondered if there was going to be some bad ass chick kicking guy's asses then put it out thinking - no way! Then I saw it and couldn't believe my eyes. Such PC BS. Serially, the next one's going to have gay jedi.
A crappy rehash of ep-4.
They ruined it.
Tenpoundbass
2015 Dec 30, 6:48am
JJ and Disney taking over the Lucas creative, would be like Martha Stewart desiging the sets for the next Tim Burton films.
Dan8267
2015 Dec 30, 2:42pm
This lead bad guy is neither a Darth Vader nor a Darth Maul, he's Keanu Reeves but with an attitude problem.
Be sure to watch the 3D version so you can see Adam Driver's buck teeth coming right at you. I swear it's the scariest part of the film.
Still, one can see why they picked Adam Driver to be the Sith apprentice. Clearly he has experience with the dark side of the force.
www.youtube.com/embed/zVEz-6sWAMc
You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
Rin
2015 Dec 30, 2:59pm
Still, one can see why they picked Adam Driver to be the Sith apprentice. Clearly he has experience with the dark side of the force.
www.youtube.com/embed/zVEz-6sWAMc
You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
Ok, so he's a wittier version of Keanu Reeves but still, he ain't scary nor someone to be taken seriously for a bad ass villain.
Dan8267
2015 Dec 30, 3:04pm
Ok, so he's a wittier version of Keanu Reeves
A rock is wittier than Keanu Reeves. I don't approve of the casting of that character. But at least he's not Hayden Christensen.
www.youtube.com/embed/hi5jjXTPtyY
Yep, sand sucks when it gets right up your ass when your saying your lines while filming a Star Wars movie.
Dan8267
2015 Dec 30, 4:30pm
www.youtube.com/embed/hvVUMW_iUlw
Thank god JJ Abrams didn't make the same demand.
MisdemeanorRebel
2015 Dec 30, 4:40pm
A rock is wittier than Keanu Reeves. I don't approve of the casting of that character. But at least he's not Hayden Christensen.
Can't blame Hayden for shit lines written by a guy who never wrote decent dialogue in his life, and even admits it.
Rin
2015 Dec 30, 4:59pm
Folks, can we talk about t*tty f*cking Natalie Portman with breast implants?
Dan8267
2015 Dec 30, 6:34pm
Can't blame Hayden for shit lines written by a guy who never wrote decent dialogue in his life, and even admits it.
Fair enough. But I can blame him for sounding so whiny beyond what the lines demanded. The only good acting he did was when he was angry in episode 3.
NDrLoR
2015 Dec 30, 6:54pm
I think so too and I haven't even seen it. I can't even remember if I saw the first one which is how interested I was in it.
MisdemeanorRebel
2019 Oct 24, 10:25pm
Disney is now claiming the trailer, which was just released, doesn't contain any story elements as to not spoil the awesomeness.
But rumor has been they already filmed several differing endings and versions, all of which test audiences said was horrible. And are STILL filming as of right now. Disney is way underperforming on merchandise and other lucrative branding upsells, and it's been known to them since late 2016. This time around Disney might actually have brought in Star Wars fans instead of Gender Studies majors to rate the films. So they are still filming live action sequences in an attempt to save the series from obliteration, even though the film comes out in December.
They were too cowardly to upset Kathleen Kennedy, who is the Female Darling of the Woke, but she will not be producing the next three Star Wars films, nor will JJ Abrams be involved. Instead they're picking some other chick (to prevent SJW Shrieking).
I tell you who they need to put in charge, and that is Kevin Smith. Heaven forbid they bring in a fatass who clearly loves the franchise and was still playing with his Action Figures at 16 might actually have a clue what to do.
Again, I haven't seen anything other than the originals and prequels. I haven't bothered with any Disney ones based on the above reviews/takeaways.
richwicks
2019 Oct 24, 11:03pm
(said stuff)
Look, Star Wars came out in what, 1977? Isn't it time to retire it?
This is like watching ChinaTown 9 in 1990 or Metropolis 8 in 1970.
The real story was a mock serial of a Flash Gorden film series and it was really finished in the original film. The next two films eaked out a story line from that, and they did fine, but at the end, the Empire was defeated and the Rebels had won. That was the end of the story.
Have you ever seen THX-1138 - the original film (which you can only pirate from a laserdisc copy - because the rest are f'ed up and "enhanced") - that was going to be the original Star Wars, a lone person rebelled against society and came back to overthrow the society they escaped from. It was simply too adult, so we ended up with Star Wars instead, which for the time, had incredible special effects. THX-1138 is a better film though.
I like my science fiction boring, slow, and thoughtful. That was THX-1138. It's a pity it wasn't a commercial success. I think this is the root of Lucas' bitterness, but it's not like I know the guy.
MisdemeanorRebel
2019 Oct 25, 2:43am
The real story was a mock serial of a Flash Gorden film series and it was really finished in the original film. The next two films eaked out a story line from that, and they did fine, but at the end, the Empire was defeated and the Rebels had won. That was the end of the story.
It's Hidden Fortress, right down to the two peasant Ashigaru being replaced with C3PO and R2D2
richwicks says
Look, Star Wars came out in what, 1977? Isn't it time to retire it?
The current Star Wars franchise is the cinema ground zero of SJW wokey doke. Otherwise, they'd just be cheesy.
Shaman
2019 Oct 25, 5:19am
Have you ever seen THX-1138
No, but I think I know why. That title is the worst I’ve ever heard about! One of the worst mistakes film makers commit is to title their movies after the main character. It almost never works out, but they keep stupidly doing it. Basically, the title has to give something away about the movie, what’s it going to be like, what’s the genre of the story, that sort of things. Titles are best if they also have some sort of ironic twist in them that poses a question to the audience to make them think.
This THX title is so bad because you can’t even pronounce it or remember a random string of alpha numerics. It’s basically a guarantee that nobody will see it, because nobody will want to. Unless an insane amount of money is spent on advertising, coupled with a crapload of word of mouth and cult movie status. And even then, the title is so bad that it might not be salvaged no matter how much advertising was spent. I’m guessing that very little advertising was done, also.
Spoilers below ...
Without going completely nuts, this re-boot is more or less, a re-tread of the first trilogy's, episode 4, but with a few nostalgic hooks, to get the older crowd to watch the films.
For one, the lost droid "with important data" on the desert planet ... hmm, where did I see that before?
The young one, in this case a girl instead of a boy, learning the ways of the force, also from that same desert planet. But this time, with zero training, she picks up the skills of a trained Jedi, by intuition alone. Man, if there were more like her, NOT A SINGLE BAD GUY would have a snowball's chance in hell of surviving. A genius like that with the right conditioning would make Emperor Palpatine, Lord Voldemort, The Borg, Genghis Khan, and every other bad ass out there, run for their lives.
And finally, a retread of the Death Star (but one on a planet) with a very similar opposing command center on a very green Moon of Yavin look-a-like and again, with Leia playing the Hillary Clinton/Golda Meir/Margaret Thatcher of the gang, which in this case, she looks perfect at, as Carrie Fisher is clearly mannish looking in her latter years.
And to top it off, without getting into Han Solo and his lame ass family issues, the lost droid merely had a segment of a map, which helped the main character in the end, to meet up with an older Luke Skywalker, somewhere on the cliffs of a northern Scotland planet. BFD! In fact, the original R2D2 needed to the finish the work, when R2 had the schematics for all along but was in hibernation (eyes roll).
First of all, WTF! Who the hell cares about meeting up with Luke. If anything, if 'Return of the Jedi' taught us something, it was that Harrison Ford's screen presence, which sold the trilogy to an audience who wanted a real action hero, along the lines of a Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen, etc, not, the rants of a stupid "D" actor of Mark Hamill, who never got a serious role after Star Wars. BTW, this is a fact. Hamill's career never went anywhere after SW.
And finally, without giving away the entire story, Han Solo's family issues and how it relates to the lead bad guy. This lead bad guy is neither a Darth Vader nor a Darth Maul, he's Keanu Reeves but with an attitude problem. Seriously, if you distract him for a split second, so that he forgets to activate a 'force' based shielding, you can beat him with a baseball bat in a heartbeat. He's neither scary nor interesting in any way. I believe that a random guy with a bb gun will eventually take him out, while he's philosophizing with one of the rebels in a future episode.
Ok, so he wears a protective helmet but it looks like that he has no problems, taking it off, to show off his face to others. And thus, the baseball bat trick will work.