patrick.net

I was waiting for Adagio for Strings to start playing.

If your ejaculation wounds your fellow man on the battlefield, then first brag about it, then see a doctor. You're doing it wrong.

If you need to talk to your bishop...

about masturbation and ejaculation, then you're just asking to be molested.

How do Mormons reproduce? Mitosis?

Weird video. Why would the producers of this video have American Soldiers running around with Yugoslavian SKS rifles instead of M1 Garands?

thenuttyneutron says

Weird video. Why would the producers of this video have American Soldiers running around with Yugoslavian SKS rifles instead of M1 Garands?

That's what you find weird about the Mormons? Not what would a Jew from the Iron Age be doing in the Americas?

If a Mormon man no longer gets to mix it up with a different sister wife for every day of the week, then isn't he at least entitled to a little porn (and to flog the dolphin) every now and then?

Next time a women shirks on her duties I will show her this video. Especially the ending. Onward and upward!

Wow, Mormons promoting premarital sex. What is not to like? I'm getting in the car and pointing my vehicle towards Salt Lake City this moment!

Dan8267 says

thenuttyneutron says

Weird video. Why would the producers of this video have American Soldiers running around with Yugoslavian SKS rifles instead of M1 Garands?

That's what you find weird about the Mormons? Not what would a Jew from the Iron Age be doing in the Americas?

You are right about the weird factor. I am still trying to connect the battle field scene and young men choking the bishop to internet porn.

If they have a video about internet porn addicting young men to masturbation, where is the video about "daddy's little princess" going to BYU and finding three men to get air tight as soon as possible after all those years of repression at home?

I'd like to believe that this is an elaborate joke, but THEY ARE SERIOUS!

I couldn't imagine (for myself at least) courting someone to marry for life with NO SEX.

justme says

Wow, Mormons promoting premarital sex. What is not to like?

Is that what they are promoting ? I thought that it was that just hanging out with women in platonic friendship, and waiting for a wet dream to finally relieve those desires is where its at, that is if you're cool and have your shit together.

Either that, or getting married and starting to reproduce ASAP.

Those are the only two healthy options.

I can see it now,... roomates interviewing potential roomates at BYU. "Dude, you aren't one of those creepy assholes that's going to spy on my every move and follow me in to the shower and shit are you? Trying to save me from the evils of masturbation? Cause I've got news for you. I'm master of my domain and proud of it. "

( I think I have it backwards though. I guess being the master of ones domain means not masterbating ? )

marcus says

justme says

Wow, Mormons promoting premarital sex. What is not to like?

Is that what they are promoting

Likely not, I was just being sarcastic ;-) But it sure looked like it from the ending.

And who knew Mormons play pool, and with members of the opposite sex, to boot. Seems like a sinful game, if you can take my cue, and leading to slippery slope (Ellie and Mikey, this is your cue).

God created a complete man before He even thought of creating a woman, right?

What's this hair growing on the back of my hands.....OH NO!!!

Mormon underwear

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

The ending is even creepier. The floggist is being dragged into a room by some guy to get the full Clockwork Orange and his co-cultist is grinning like a hyena in the hallway.

I think those two guys at the end of the video, looking at each other are gay. Future Realtor's I'm sure.

I've had a few Mormon friends, and they were all right. When you drill down on any religion, it is a bit creepy. Blood of the lamb, anyone?

Wait, so if I'm a Mormon, and I'm downloading a ton of porn every night, I get to tag team two hot bitches? Shit, sign me up.

Mormons got no STYLE points.

Jehovah's Witnesses, team up with 50 Cent to preach it!

http://youtu.be/WY5Iypd28iI

Know what I'm SAYIN?!!!

If those Mormon girls don't want to walk around bowlegged with squeegee running down their legs day and night, they better pray that the wankers wank.

Maybe if somebody doesn't know how to keep their own shit private, he deserves the humiliation of a masturbation search and rescue operation.

Don't they have stocks on the quads on Mormon campuses for that? They clamp on to hands, head and pecker.

The Masturbator Administrator must be a busy man. It's a messy job, but somebody has to grab the problem by the nozzle.

God knows everything at once.
He does not think in a linear fashion like the earth dweller.

Heraclitusstudent says

God created a complete man before He even thought of creating a woman, right?

Chris Ruth 0.5lb porterhouse, rare.
only difference is the animal.

Blurtman says

I've had a few Mormon friends, and they were all right. When you drill down on any religion, it is a bit creepy. Blood of the lamb, anyone?