patrick.net

BEIJING—In a candid speech Tuesday, President Xi Jinping stated he was "pretty impressed" by Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer's handling of the coronavirus outbreak, specifically praising her totalitarian policies.

China's dictator said he was actually a little jealous he hadn't thought of some of her ideas himself.

"She has some pretty great ideas -- stopping people from gathering together even with their families, ordering people not to buy seeds -- they can't even plant their own food now! We hadn't even thought of some of these innovative approaches," the Communist president said. "We're always looking for more ways to oppress people, and we were really inspired by Whitmer's approach."

"Not bad, Gretchen."

Other dictators across the world also chimed in with words of support and affirmation for Whitmer's policies, from North Korean ruler Kim Jong Un to Supreme Leader of Iran Ali Khamenei.

The Chinese government quickly offered Governor Whitmer a consulting position with the Communist Party of China, which she readily accepted.

FRANKFORT, KY—Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear has ordered all Christian churchgoers to wear a yellow cross to warn others they attended a religious gathering against the unilateral decree of the state.

Law enforcement officials took down license plate numbers of churchgoers so their family could be given a set of the yellow cross patches to sew on their clothing.

"We must identify those undesirables who would dare attend church services in defiance of the state," the governor said. "Therefore, anyone who goes to church will be sent this fashionable yellow cross. They must wear it at all times so others will know to stay away from them, ostracize them from society, and report their suspicious activity to the police."

The state ordered all medical mask production facilities to begin shifting production to the yellow crosses instead in order to meet demand. "This is priority one," said Beshear.

Should the religious gatherings continue, the governor says anyone with a yellow patch will be subject to isolation in government-run "Quarantine Camps.

Well they broke the law. We all know of cases of getting a ticket or worse for a crime we dissagree with. What if someone is ever so slightly over the .1 or whatever with alchohol. while driving. In some places you pay serious consequences for that.

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marcus says

Well they broke the law. We all know of cases of getting a ticket or worse for a crime we dissagree with. What if someone is ever so slightly over the .1 or whatever with alchohol. while driving. In some places you pay serious consequences for that.

You do realize your equating exercising your 1st amendment rights with the crime of driving under the influence? Don'tcha?

Onvacation says

marcus says

Well they broke the law. We all know of cases of getting a ticket or worse for a crime we dissagree with. What if someone is ever so slightly over the .1 or whatever with alchohol. while driving. In some places you pay serious consequences for that.

You do realize your equating exercising your 1st amendment rights with the crime of driving under the influence? Don'tcha?

My thing is how is this real at this point??? There's not a single state in this country that has 0.1 BAC. I don't know a person that doesn't know this. 0.08 BAC has been the law in most states for decades. This is something that any American adult over 16-17 knows. I'm honestly shocked someone wouldn't know this even if they don't drink. It's not a typo either.

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Tenpoundbass says

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