patrick.net

U.S.—Donald Trump was permanently banned from Twitter today, being a crazy fringe extremist who also happens to be the president of the United States.

But the ever-clever Trump, always known as the smartest man in the room, has managed to get back on the social network by disguising himself as one Chongald Xrump, PR specialist for the Chinese Communist Party.

Trump is reportedly attempting to build a following by tweeting about how good Uighur concentration camps are and how nice the Chinese government is, since those things are not banned under Twitter's terms of service. Once he has enough followers, he'll remove his Asian rice hat and false Fu Manchu mustache and begin tweeting about the rigged election once again.

"Hello good sirs, I am here today to tell you how great our concentration camps are! Very clean and humane!" he wrote. The tweet was not flagged for inciting violence or being, you know, the tweet of a communist country that has killed tens of millions of its own citizens. In fact, people who replied and questioned the legitimacy of his tweet were suspended for hate speech.

Should his ploy fail, Trump says he will next try disguising himself as an Antifa leader.

“Tech Censorship Knows No Bounds: Lindsay Graham Kicked Off Grindr”

If we had the Commodore, the Commodore would be looking out for us.

https://patents.google.com/patent/US20200279585A1/en

hunh.

Trump told Pence 'you can either go down in history as a patriot, or you can go down in history as a p---y' before certification vote in Congress