patrick.net

She will get the last laugh at the divorce settlement.....

HeadSet says

She will get the last laugh at the divorce settlement.....

LOL! He thinks it's 'his' house. LOL!

"Babe"? "Babe I saw YOU!"

One duck sick and he'll be all lovey dovey again.

That wasn't the actions of a guy pissed off ditching his wife. That was the actions of a guy that just wanted to put her on notice.

If he gave a fuck he would have interrupted their trist.

Tenpoundbass says

"Babe"? "Babe I saw YOU!"

One duck sick and he'll be all lovey dovey again.

"But, baby, your brother was in need. His dick is just like yours, only bigger!"

Tenpoundbass says

If he gave a fuck he would have interrupted their trist.

.... and went medieval on their asses.

FuckCCP89 says

Tenpoundbass says

If he gave a fuck he would have interrupted their trist.

.... and went medieval on their asses.

Unless he saw them on a surveillance camera after the fact.

From a chain mail:

Common Sense

I wonder how many people would have been shot by police if they did not commit crimes nor resist arrest? I suppose it would be NONE, except for the rare accident.

If you don't want to get hit by a car, don't protest in the middle of a highway

If you don't want to get killed by the Police, don't engage in illegal activities.

If you're scared of the Coronavirus, stay home.

If you don't love America, leave it.

It's really not that difficult to figure out.

Just because you toppled a statue doesn't mean you changed history. It just shows how ignorant you are.

BLM has done more to promote racism in past months than all the Confederate Memorials in the past 100 years.

Would you hire a person who hates animals to care for your dog? Then, why would you elect people who hate America?

If you're driving alone in your car & wearing a mask, you don't need to put a Biden sticker on your car... we already know.

The NFL now says it may bar all Military & Police Honor Guards from being on the field. I hope the NFL tanks completely! Have you considered your response?

Want to be Green? Shut off your air conditioning, turn off your phone, TV and computers and go outside and plant next year's dinner.

The only things that have gotten worse since Trump became President are the Democrats.

For those of you who are serious germ-fearers: did you know that door knobs made out of brass disinfect themselves in about 8 hours?

If we don't start getting behind the Police, they'll all quit. I know I would!

If we are removing 'To Kill a Mockingbird' due to its use of the "N" word, how many Rap albums are going with it?

Warning to BLM & ANTIFA: Once you've managed to defund & eliminate the Police, there's nobody protecting you from us. Hope everyone remembers that.

Payday candy bar is changing its name because it's offensive to those who don't work.

Patrick says

Payday candy bar is changing its name because it's offensive to those who don't work.

FoodStamps candy bar has a nice ring.

Ceffer says

Tenpoundbass says

"Babe"? "Babe I saw YOU!"

One duck sick and he'll be all lovey dovey again.

"But, baby, your brother was in need. His dick is just like yours, only bigger!"

The more I think about it, the more I think it was all Staged.

1) Mom helping Son admonish another Son over infidelity. No Mother would do that, what happens if the son then pulls out a gun and shoots the other son in a fit of jealous rage. The mother would have been part of the set up?

2) He said "Oh and my wedding ring" and proceeded to put an Old Ladies costume jewelry ring on the cake.

3) The wife didn't say... "Woah.. wait.. what... what are you doing with your wedding ring?" and pulled off the blind fold.

4) No fists were thrown between the brothers.

Patrick says

I wonder how many people would have been shot by police if they did not commit crimes nor resist arrest? I suppose it would be NONE, except for the rare accident.

This guy was shot for carrying a plastic spoon:

https://www.guns.com/news/2014/12/18/man-with-mental-health-problems-shot-dead-by-police-while-wielding-spoon-video

This mentally ill man was shot because the police claimed they felt "threatened". Watch the video, would YOU have been threatened by this man?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ny0mpmioKg

One of the police officers was recorded saying he was going to shoot the man in the balls - and he did BTW.

Some police are just brutal fucking monsters. Derek Chauvin wasn't. Ironically, he restored some of my faith in the goodness of police. If you've seen the full body cam footage (and I'm certain you have) he was even polite, and was QUITE patient. I gained a lot of respect for police with how Chavin acted with Floyd. If HE goes to jail, our system is fucking broken. Riots should ensue then.

George Floyd was a brutal drug addict, and he was NOT cleaning up his life. I feel badly for Floyd, but he killed himself with a drug overdose. Chauvin didn't kill him.

Yes, I hope my wife never meets my fleshlight.

Ceffer says

Yes, I hope my wife never meets my fleshlight.

??? A good wife would wash it out for you.

Onvacation says

I was eating lunch with my 25 year old daughter at a Diner, I showed her this meme. She laughed and said that's so true.

She just got a $3K check between her income tax and stimulus.

Onvacation says

Never seen Kamala in those boots before.

Wow! Two 12 volt car batteries!

Onvacation says

Wow! Two 12 volt car batteries!

Imagine her vibrator!

HeadSet says

Onvacation says

Wow! Two 12 volt car batteries!

Imagine her vibrator!

LOL!

HeadSet says

Onvacation says

Wow! Two 12 volt car batteries!

Imagine her vibrator!

LOL!

https://www.cubebik.com/shop/joe-put-the-dem-in-dementia-2020-shirt-joe-put-the-dem-in-dementia-president-anti-biden-pro-trump-2020-t-shirt-v-neck/?sscid=31k5_k8fle&

Mind blown thought of the day

Tenpoundbass says

Mind blown thought of the day

It's not irony either.

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident an Irish man answered his door to find a grim-faced constable waiting in the front yard. "We're sorry, Mr. O' Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen" said the officer.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Michael Patrick O'Flynn asked. The constable said, "I have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. O' Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first." The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay." "Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed O' Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"

The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. O' Flynn demanded, "Glory be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?" The constable replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

https://vid8.poal.co/user/The_Gem/HVKmMEv

Rb6d says

The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Haha! This one hits home with me. Though, not about lobsters.

My thing is crab. I love me some dungeness crab. I have boiled or steamed so many of these creatures in my life and have gobbled down all their flesh and have loved every minute of it.

Okay, I am not young and I live near the west coast of the US. I have told my wife that if I pass first, and if it is not against the law (or if she can avoid trouble), I want her to somehow get my corpse out into the Pacific ocean and let the crabs have back at me.

I like to think when I get I give back.

I went line fishing with a Chinese friend in Half Moon Bay once and we caught a bunch of crabs easily.

I felt bad about throwing them in boiling water, but they were tasty.

Later I found out that a homeless man had drowned in that bay shortly before we went fishing, and had been almost completely eaten by crabs. So the crabs had their revenge in advance.