patrick.net

Your telltale heart speaks volumes, my friend. I'm putting on my black cat and I won't make a spectacle of myself - in the pit of my stomach I think I'm right.

I don't want to Boris all but have you tried a silver bullet? It makes franken sense and that ain't exactly beans. I know everything isn't black and white but it's a Universal cure and it doesn't need to be revamped, especially when the wolf is at the door. Or you can also call your mummy. Well, it looks like this is a wrap.

mikey says

I don’t want to Boris all but have you tried a silver bullet?

Yep. Just drank one. Don't know why they called it a "lite" 'cause it weighed the same as the regular one. It drove me labatty. Naturally, I had to take another drink to cure what ale'd me. Now I'm living the High Life. (I hope I'm spelling this okay - I'm a little tipsy and am writing this by an amber light.)

Anyway, that's all in the pabst. Now I'm sadder, budweiser.

Sadder Budweiser? Of Coors you are. But I'm tapped out. I don't have the head for this. You got me over a barrel.

Well, I can't offer you any head. This entire thread is for the bids, and I'm fizzing out.

Oh, well, suds is life.

What a bubble-brained answer. Gotta nip it in the bud sometimes, ya know?

I figured I'd have a little pick-me-up today, with me & my friends Sherry & Rickey. Rickey's a limey who adds a punch to every situation 'cause he's always got my back. We blend together most of the time, when he's not too bitter - although sometimes he's a bit dry. Had a smashing good time dancing the twist, but lost track of my day - we're really good at drinking (you might say we're well drinkers). I've got proof.

I'm telling you straight up, Mikey, we had a real neat time. Absinthe of anything else to say about it, we had a cooler time than I can remember. But now I've got a headache and feel like I've got the dreaded drambuie right now. Feeling rummy. And I think I've got something in my rye.

I need to shnapp out of this and think of of vacationing in lush surroundings - someplace that has little umbrellas in the drinks...

This here mug is all a buzz.
I hope I don't get canned for this but I'm tired of bottling this up. I'm gonna hop to it right now
because I know somehing is brewing and I can barley believe it. I don't want to be at lager heads.
We may be a couple of Hamm's but at least our heads are in the right place. To cap it off, we might even be in the Guiness record book.
I guess we really can have our keg and drink it too. It's good for what ales us and that's just for openers. Let'd raise the bar and nip it in the Bud.
What a shame we can't blame Busch for this.
PS: I'd like to post more but I have to take a Schlitz.

All the mugging you do, your mommy must be proud!

No reason to be frosty!

You can bet your glass that I didn't mean to be cold. I'm trying to be ice to you, and all you can do is get all steamed up. I don't mean to label you as a party pooper. But something stinks around here...

Trying to sell the swizzle by getting on the stick? Okay, take a shot, even if it's watered down. But don't be a drip.
Here's a tip: Instead of raising the bar, why not be tender, just in case? Does that register?

I'll drink to that! Another round, beertender!

Did you read that PETA is claiming that Tyson is breaking gambling laws because he's profiting from the racing pigeons - by drawing his salary? I can barely believe that Tyson has a reality show - all of his profits should go to his rape victim forever - and won't watch it. But is pigeon racing cruel?

It's only cruel if Tyson straddles the pigeon during its flight. Aside from that, I have no problem with it and don't know why it's causing such a flap. It's not like he's killing the messenger. But maybe PETA is trying to send him a message?
It's like a carny side show. Everyone wants to see the bizarre. Who can resist paying a dollar to see the amazing gargantuan rat from the dank sewers of France? When the rat turns out to be an overweight possum, just try to get your money back.

mikey says

It’s like a carny side show.

...yet I cannot look away.

I have many carny memories...pink lemonade...peanuts...popcorn...cotton candy... whisker burn from the bearded lady...the yelping growl of the lonely boy who was half human and half wolf cub, at night his heart rending lonesome cries spoke of one who had known suffering beyond his years and beyond this world. It struck a chord deep in my soul where it would push me to tears night after night, surprising tears that came from a strange place that I never even knew I possessed.
How I longed to unlock a warm, balmy night in his heart where abandoned innocence would finally be given a chance to be regained, but alas, it was not be be.
To this day his tormented cries cling to my soul with a lingering and misty melancholy that refuses to leave my psyche. Yet there was something that glimmered magically in his eyes one fateful night that somehow told me that his tragedy would not be permitted to become the end of all his hope, and for that bittersweet glint of revelation in his sorrowful yellow eyes, I will forever be profoundly grateful. In this world and the next.

I love carnies. They meet the tooth-to-tattoo ratio, an important assessment tool for ER staff. Simply stated, if they have more tattoos than they do teeth, they won't be dying in your ER that day. This is from "house of god," a poetic look a the life of an MD. It's a hard read, never made it past the first few chapters. But I do remember that.

What's up with tat? Is Ellie's post the whole tooth? Or is she trying to gum up the works with her biting comments?
Yes. it's true that carnies have skin in the game, sometimes even before the ink is dry.
Either way, those were incisor comments that buck the trend, filled with wisdom. I'll chew on them for a while. Rot else can to do? I don't have any pull around here. At least that's the filling I get. It's been drilled into me.
PS: I'd like to post more but I have to make a trip to The Gap, even though I'm broke. Please, no cracks.

That was a tokin' comment, and I appreciated it. As an aside,show me a carnie & I'll show you a guy who's living the high life. You might think that things just go 'round & 'round for them, but their lives are roller coasters. Following Ferris around can't be easy, you know.

Their lives are shams, a veritable plethora of funny mirrors. It might not be your cup of tea, but it's fine for them. Midway through their lives they might wonder what they're doing, but for the most part they're truckin' along. They can't all live in fun houses - but I wish they'd check their zippers more often.

Waiting for your answer.... Bueler?

Your post was too in tents. You're turning this into a circus. Why hot dog it? That'a corny. Start clowning around and have fun. There's a chance you might get weighed. Aren't you game? Does this ring a bell? Ready to hit the bottle? This is nacho business, but ice cream in the spook house.

An American Indian went to the medical practioner of his choice (ellie's trying to be politcally correct, here - a first!). He was concerned because he was having weird dreams. He told the practioner:

"I had a dream last night that I was a wigwam, - then a teepee. All night I couldn't choose what I was - wigwam/teepee/wigwam/teepee... What's wrong with me?"

The practitioner said, "You're two tents!"