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Obama jokes like an Asshole


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2014 Oct 21, 5:23am   8,177 views  53 comments

by Tenpoundbass   ➕follow (9)   💰tip   ignore  

http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/21/politics/obama-early-voting-jokes/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

Washington (CNN) -- Even the President of the United States has to deal with jealous boyfriends.
Casting his ballot in Chicago on Monday, Obama stood at a voting booth next to Aia Cooper, whose fiancé, Mike Jones, decided to crack wise with the president.
"Mr. President, don't touch my girlfriend," Jones quipped as he walked by the two.
"I really wasn't planning on it," Obama replied, joking that Jones was "an example of a brother just embarrassing you for no reason."
A clearly embarrassed Cooper apologized for her boyfriend, telling the President she knew her boyfriend was going to "say something smart," but she didn't know what.
At least she would go back home with a good story as Obama joked that she would tell her friends and family, "I can't believe Mike, he is such a fool."
"But fortunately, the President was nice about it, so it's alright," Obama said, imagining how Cooper would tell the story.
Obama got back at Jones after voting, with a hug and a kiss for his fiancé.
"On the cheek, just the cheek -- please, Michelle, don't come after me -- just the cheek!" Cooper told CNN affiliate WLS-TV after voting.
"Now, he's really jealous," Obama told Cooper.

Very regal Mr. President, in a ghetto ass way...

The proper response would have been to fire your security detail, not get in a petty squabble with your voting base, then sit there and stew like punk ass bitch.

#politics

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15   humanity   2014 Oct 21, 7:00am  

mmmarvel says

And Obama can't do it 99% of the time with handlers and advisors - advantage, Captain.

Gee, are we by any chance hearing from another sore loser right winger ?

Republicans can't lose with even the slightest bit of class.

At least I could admit that Reagan had some interpersonal charms and positive attributes for being figure head. I could see Reagan as an excellent King.

16   humanity   2014 Oct 21, 7:03am  

CaptainShuddup says

They only back tracked the next day, because they knew they would never be able to go into Iraq, if our primary objective was achieved.

So where do the Zionists and the Illuminate fit in to these theories of yours ?

17   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 7:14am  

humanity says

So where do the Zionists and the Illuminate fit in to these theories of yours ?

A former Delta Force commander, using the pen name "Dalton Fury", who fought at Tora Bora, wrote that bin Laden escaped into Pakistan on or around December 16, 2001. Fury gives three reasons for why he believes bin Laden was able to escape:

A guy who we wont name claims he escaped and the President you chose shoots a man without a face and then dumped him in the ocean, and you don't have any questions... Why?

Oh I get it, because of Obama's impeccable transparent and honesty record.

Who needs Jews when I've got you Turkeys?

18   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 7:16am  

Besides I was there, I was awake when the Generals were doing the victory dance and popping bubbly at 4:30 am live on every cable news station, upon hearing the news that they Killed Osama.

19   humanity   2014 Oct 21, 8:14am  

CaptainShuddup says

Besides I was there, I was awake when the Generals were doing the victory dance and popping bubbly at 4:30 am live on every cable news station, upon hearing the news that they Killed Obama.

I get it, they bombed the hell out of the location that he had a decent probability of being at. And then they celebrated that fact.

For all we know some clan who had a lot of enemies in Bora bora, said Bin Laden was there. You only had to have an IQ of about 60 to realize that that would be a great way to bomb your enemies back to the stone age, and get this, to have the U.S. pay for it and execute it.

Oh, but the Captain wants to believe that they got him then, why ? Oh, it's because he just knows in his gut.

How have you lived so long not being able to tell the difference between what you wish to be true and what is true ?

I agree that the burying him at sea sounded fishy, but I take it to meant that they might have kept him alive (can you say tranquilizer gun?). Yes, I will admit that that would not be very transparent of them, but it makes more sense than your version. Under your version, some folks that knew, would want yo expose it. You know how those republicans are (Benghazi !)

On the other hand, supposedly there are pictures of his body that high clearance people have seen. Either that or those high clearance people know the real story.

20   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 8:19am  

...Then just like that...

He was gone!

21   humanity   2014 Oct 21, 9:07am  

CaptainShuddup says

...Then just like that...

He was gone!

IF he decided to go into hiding, not putting out videos, and allowing a rumor to exist that he's dead, then that helps his chanced of being searched for way less. Maybe the price on his head simply was too high. But he put out a lot of audio tapes. You would think that the experts could identify whether those were real or not.

22   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 9:10am  

humanity says

But he put out a lot of audio tapes.

Not one single one of those tapes authenticity of when they were created were confirmed. He never mentioned one single current event in any of those releases.

The gist of those tapes were...

"America... you son of a bitch, I hope you rot in hell, I implore all of the floor smootchers in the world to rise up against the US"

Yeah damning evidence that he was still alive alright.

23   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 9:15am  

There's a reason why not one single captured al-Qaeda operative has been brought to trial. The last thing the government want's the world to hear is the real version of what has been going on since January 2002.

24   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 9:25am  

humanity says

How have you lived so long not being able to tell the difference between what you wish to be true and what is true ?

I've laid out more proof than Obama has.

Bin Laden wasn't a Bilfish, you don't catch and release the world's most wanted man, in the history of world of manhunts, shoot him in the face then dump him in the ocean my ass.

Yeah that's right, name one single time in History that's ever been done, or would have made sense? Just one! I'll take it!

25   humanity   2014 Oct 21, 9:25am  

CaptainShuddup says

The gist of those tapes were...

"America... you son of a bitch, I hope you rot in hell, I implore all of the floor smootchers in the world to rise up against the US"

You have the internet right here. No need to make up your facts

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Videos_and_audio_recordings_of_Osama_bin_Laden

26   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 9:27am  

The media has been silent about it, because Obama has been a tyrant.
The last thing someone wants is to be Juan Williams'd or labeled a racist for questioning the supreme leader.

When this Loser is out of office, you'll get the facts.

27   humanity   2014 Oct 21, 9:36am  

You might be right, about him being dead before. But not about us "getting the facts."

Maybe that was his son that we took out in Pakistan. Maybe Bin Laden was very ill, and not wnating to mave around a lot, which would have been a reason for him to keep a low profile.

28   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 9:39am  

humanity says

You have the internet right here. No need to make up your facts

Ah Wiki the other Left brain...

I say he was dead by December 12, 2001 to December 17, 2001.

those tapes are all riddled with controversy, weren't you alive back then or at least watching the news?

Just look at the final quip on all of those noted tapes and videos, they don't do a good job of reinforcing your claim and refuting the truth.

On December 20, 2001, German TV channel "Das Erste" broadcast an analysis of the White House's translation of the videotape. On the program "Monitor", two independent translators and an expert on oriental studies found the White House's translation to be both inaccurate and manipulative stating "At the most important places where it is held to prove the guilt of bin Laden, it is not identical with the Arabic" and that the words used that indicate foreknowledge can not be heard at all in the original. Prof. Gernot Rotter, professor of Islamic and Arabic Studies at the Asia-Africa Institute at the University of Hamburg said "The American translators who listened to the tapes and transcribed them apparently wrote a lot of things in that they wanted to hear but that cannot be heard on the tape no matter how many times you listen to it."[9]

The study concluded that the sample set of bin Laden recordings is too small to allow any researcher draw a conclusion regarding the videos validity.

Colin Powell told a United States Senate panel that he'd reviewed a transcript of a message from bin Laden stating that he was in "partnership with Iraq",

US officials said that the tape was authentic

BBC News reports that it was "undated and correspondents say it may be re-run footage. Its authenticity also cannot be independently verified."[23]

Once again is an audio message, with no new imagery of bin Laden seen. A video version of the message was released showing an older still image of bin Laden while an audio message plays in the background.

. Its authenticity also cannot be independently verified.

The authenticity of the tape has not been independently verified.[60]

The release of your prisoners in the hands of our brothers is linked to the withdrawal of your soldiers from our country," said the speaker on the audiotape

A recording purported to have been made by Osama shortly before he died has been released by al-Qaeda.

29   FortWayne   2014 Oct 21, 10:00am  

Strategist says

I liked him a lot when he caught and fed Bin Laden to the sharks.

There was some leak in the news recently, might interest you. They didn't bury him in the ocean. Military brought him back to US. Doesn't say if he was dead or alive.

30   Strategist   2014 Oct 21, 10:24am  

CaptainShuddup says

humanity says

How have you lived so long not being able to tell the difference between what you wish to be true and what is true ?

I've laid out more proof than Obama has.

Bin Laden wasn't a Bilfish, you don't catch and release the world's most wanted man, in the history of world of manhunts, shoot him in the face then dump him in the ocean my ass.

Yeah that's right, name one single time in History that's ever been done, or would have made sense? Just one! I'll take it!

Oh God. You really are turning into Gary.

31   Strategist   2014 Oct 21, 10:26am  

FortWayne says

Strategist says

I liked him a lot when he caught and fed Bin Laden to the sharks.

There was some leak in the news recently, might interest you. They didn't bury him in the ocean. Military brought him back to US. Doesn't say if he was dead or alive.

i would love that. Bring him over and torture him till he spills the beans. Then feed him to the sharks.

32   Strategist   2014 Oct 21, 10:28am  

Call it Crazy says

Strategist says

CaptainShuddup says

Strategist says

I liked him a lot when he caught and fed Bin Laden to the sharks.

Yeah that happened!

Well he did take a chance and gave the final go ahead to go into Pakistan and give Bin Laden what he deserved.

Is that what that made for TV movie told you?

And CNN. Even Obama made a statement to that affect. :) :)

33   humanity   2014 Oct 21, 10:43am  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osama_bin_Laden_death_conspiracy_theories

My personal favorite of all the conspiracy theories or sub-theories:

that the announcement of bin Laden's death was timed to conflict with and take Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice off the air, to punish Trump for publicly questioning the authenticity of Barack Obama's birth certificate.

34   humanity   2014 Oct 21, 10:49am  

If you believe in conspiracies, here's a question for you.

If it was a hoax, how many of those people in the famous war room picture would have to know that ? Would Obama have to know ? Maybe the CIA or some black ops group was rogue on the entire thing. Giving the President, the VP, the head of the CIA, HIlary and key military leaders plausable deniability.

Then again, maybe it was all real.

http://www.politico.com/blogs/under-the-radar/2013/02/cia-finds-seven-more-photos-of-dead-bin-laden-157185.html

35   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 11:18am  

They found photos?

Was he eating at a Chipolte?

36   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 11:27am  

I was living on the Lam
in fear for my life from uncle sam
I was in Pakistan watching a show about a funny man

He was the first black president
read from a teleprompter with arrogance
lost his popularity couldn't get love for charity

Bang bang Obama shot me dead

Landed two black hawk war machines
damn near made shit my jeans
I was watching a show about a guillotine,

heard a flash and bang
Then a loud bell sound rang
my fucking face left my brain

bang bang Obama shot me dead

They mopped my up and put me in a bag
I heard one call me a Hodgie Fag
Went back to the chopper and threw me in the back

I was in a bloody mess
brains and blood where was my face
The turned a sharp left and dumped me in the sea

Bang bang!
my baby shot me
Bang bang!
my baby got me
Bang bang...

Obama shot me dead....

and you guys are hopeless romantics.

37   marcus   2014 Oct 21, 1:24pm  

CaptainShuddup says

Obama jokes like an Asshole

I would think that you would respect Obama for behaving like you do.

38   Y   2014 Oct 21, 1:32pm  

and you only had to have an IQ of about 59 to pass a comprehensive nationwide medical insurance bill before flipping a page and reading it.

humanity says

You only had to have an IQ of about 60 to realize that that would be a great way to bomb your enemies back to the stone age,

39   Y   2014 Oct 21, 1:33pm  

8tracks don't count...

humanity says

But he put out a lot of audio tapes.

40   marcus   2014 Oct 21, 1:34pm  

I see someone is still peddling worn out lies from 2009. Can't you find some brand new shiny 2014 lies to sell us ?

41   Y   2014 Oct 21, 1:35pm  

I heard he had planters for awhile...

humanity says

Maybe that was his son that we took out in Pakistan. Maybe Bin Laden was very ill, and not wnating to mave around a lot, which would have been a reason for him to keep a low profile.

42   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 21, 1:42pm  

marcus says

I see someone is still peddling worn out lies from 2009. Can't you find some brand new shiny 2014 lies to sell us ?

My credibility has held up better than Obama's has since 2009.

See folks Marcus remembers, you remember, I didn't just read this in the funny papers I said this when it went down.

Who was that guy, probably the guy that we killed that pissed the guy off that called the first guy that started putting together ISIS. That's Who.

That's probably why Obama don't want to fuck with them to much. Like one of those Crazy bitches you fucked, and you just ignore them when you bump into them around your wife. You just hope the bitch doesn't say something stupid and you just wish she'd go away. But you definitely don't want to provoke her in anyway. She could ask you to hit your self and you would.

"You Bastard you killed Omar Jahaffar"

43   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 23, 9:16am  

My credibility is Like a ROCK!

The Obama administration is claiming executive privilege over more than 15,000 documents related to Operation Fast and Furious, including correspondence between Attorney General Eric Holder and his wife, according to records received Wednesday night by the watchdog group Judicial Watch.

Last month, a federal judge ordered the Justice Department to release to Judicial Watch the list of documents, known as a “Vaughn index,” that it is withholding from the public, calling its requests for further delays “unconvincing.”

The 1,307-page Vaughn index lists 15,662 documents related to Operation Fast and Furious that the Obama administration is asserting executive privilege over—the first time that full list and description of the records has been released.

According to Judicial Watch, the withheld documents include communications between top officials at the Justice Department and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF), as well as with the United States Ambassador to Mexico.

The Obama administration is also asserting executive privilege over nearly 20 emails between Holder and his wife Sharon Malone.

You keep believing the fairy tales and comedy skits he keeps selling you Suckers.

44   marcus   2014 Oct 23, 12:32pm  

CaptainShuddup says

My credibility is Like a ROCK!

Sinking fast in the lake we call patrick.net.

45   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 23, 12:37pm  

I've never told a lie here but I've been called a liar, yelled at and told Bush was liar as well. Obama hasn't told one single truth since he took office.

I only wish it was 2016 already. I think Ronald Reagan's corpse would win over any Democrat offering. And that would be a Zombie with Alzheimer.

46   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 23, 1:05pm  

Welp you got me on technicality, I should just say what you read and not what I mean. Would that make it easier for you?

47   Y   2014 Oct 23, 1:35pm  

Actually, you have him on a technicality....

CaptainShuddup says

Welp you got me on technicality,

Apparently, neither are you.
A L.I.E. is when you say something as if it were true, when you know it is not true.

marcus says

Apparently you're not real clear on what lying means. When you're talking, if you say something that's not true, thet's called a L I E.

48   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 23, 1:42pm  

Look I don't care how you guys say it, Obama chopped down the damn Cherry tree and blamed Bush.

49   marcus   2014 Oct 23, 2:07pm  

SoftShell says

Apparently, neither are you.

A L.I.E. is when you say something as if it were true, when you know it is not true.

marcus says

Apparently you're not real clear on what lying means. When you're talking, if you say something that's not true, thet's called a L I E.

Wrong. I really do not believe he knows what lying is. I hear right wingers lying like crazy all the time. An example would be the birther nonsense. It's not about thinking it's true. It's about the fact that maybe some of the republicans core retards or racists might buy it. Maybe it will catch on and as a negative against Obama. That's what's important to you dimbulb liars. It's fun. HE wore a tan summer suit today, can you believe that ! Let's see if that sticks ! Weeeeee.

50   Y   2014 Oct 23, 2:10pm  

sounds more like propaganda....

marcus says

It's not about thinking it's true. It's about the fact that maybe some of the republicans core retards or racists might buy it.

51   marcus   2014 Oct 23, 10:53pm  

CaptainShuddup says

Look I don't care how you guys say it, Obama chopped down the damn Cherry tree and blamed Bush.

So you're saying that historically speaking, for a lot of people he'll be right up there with George Washington ?

52   Tenpoundbass   2014 Oct 23, 10:57pm  

No I'm saying he surpassed G.W. Bush for his name being synonymous with Lying.

53   HEY YOU   2014 Oct 24, 2:01am  

G.H.W. Bush: Read my lips,no new taxes.
G.W. Bush: Iraq has WMD.

I'm sure they simply misspoke.

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