patrick.net

"I wonder how the open house went"

Why don't you tell us? Did it measure up to your expectations.

This ad would work pretty good here in the San Francisco Bay Area. LOL.

It should be not only just huge, but also be nice looking too for enjoying the views.

Sure, she knows what she's talking about since she's a professional who's been making living out of this stuff for years. This must be fantastic. LOL.

That may be the best marketing I've seen in a long time. I doubt she really meant to do it, but that ad probably got way more, uh, exposure than she paid for.

Yeah, but how would you like to be the buyer of the huge dick?! What would the neighbors think?

That must be one huge dick if you can sit on it and enjoy the views. If it's great for entertaining, that means there's plenty of dick to go around. You could have a ball on that dick.

Wonder if there's an upstairs? If so, it would lead to such statements as, "Honey, I'm going down on the dick for a little enjoyment..."

is it stained or painted?
is it fully wrapped with a protective barrier?
is it covered?
is it hard wood or soft?
is it notty?
is it nailed?
is it screwed?
is it begining to sag with age?
can it be seen from the neighbors?
can it be seen from the pool?
does it get wet?
does it get hot?
does it peel and flake?
does it give you slivers if you rub it?
has there been anyone smoking on it?
has it been extended?
is it comfortable when used by many people at once?

I am sorry, it was funny. And once Mikey gets here, it will be some stiff competition.

I should have called this 'realtor ad guaranteed to perform'

I love dicks. Big ones, that I can share with my girlfriends. We can climb on top of it and lay all over it. I've been thinking about a huge dick all day long... it's quite distracting.

Isn't Mikey going to take a stand on this?

Personally, I don't think that Realtor is playing with a full dick.

Lady Realtor looks past her prime. If I buy a house, I want a Realtor who is young and hot. Short skirt is a plus.

That woman was Cocky, maybe I'm going soft. Realtor erecting this kind of ad, used to wood make me cum over there and slap her. The folly clues points to intentional insertion of this ad. She's not playing with a full dick.

Liz Pendens says

Isn’t Mikey going to take a stand on this?

His reply was straight up, but hardly worth the wait...

elliemae says

Liz Pendens says

Isn’t Mikey going to take a stand on this?

His reply was straight up, but hardly worth the wait…

I swear that's never happened to me before.

It''s okay, it happens to everyone sooner or later. Premature ejokeulation happens when you're not sure if your dick is big enough...

Are you saying that I shoot first and ask questions later?

You gave it your best shot - but you got creamed.

I don't have a dick, but my boyfriend does. It's so large it has stairs. I go up & down on his big dick after a long day at work. My balance is so great that I don't even spill my wine while I'm climbing on & off of it.

Do I get any respect for "premature ejokeulation?"

that was clever.....

but, that's a tabu subject for dudes.

Oh, how I wish I could post a link on facebook. Patrick, you need a "share" option:O)

Thanks, guys, for all the laughs:O)

I bought a house with a large dick. I was inexperienced in real estate (a "property virgin") and didn't really know what size dick I wanted. I was worried that having a huge dick would be hard but I just blew my wad and got the biggest dick in the neighborhood. Best decision of my life! The ladies love it. I have parties on my dick all summer long. When the party is over, I just hose it off, no problem.

It was very hard on my friends though. When their wives found out about my tremendous dick, they got "dick envy." Pretty soon my friends were asking all kinds of annoying questions like, "How can I get a big dick? What if I just lay cock all over my house...the windows, bathrooms, kitchen? Do you think cocking all the time will satisfy my wife? Will Obama's cash for cockers program help me?"

I told them that no amount of cocking can substitute for a humongous dick.

What was that realtor's name? Shirley Hunspermer?

The dick on my house is falling apart, and my husband isn't able to put up a new one. So now I have to hire someone instead. That sucks, and it's so expensive! Does anyone have a contractor they can recommend? I'll need a performance bond before he starts.

I wonder if Shirley was sitting on the dick when the idea for this ad suddenly exploded? Hmmmm