patrick.net

sbh says

33) The future: It doesn't look anything like the 1950s anymore.

Everything was black and white. Look at some pictures.

They also ruined Illinois.

How about Duty and honor?

OK... the future, Illinois, duty & honor, this ashtray, .... and my dog shithead.

New Renter says

turtledove says

What's with all the body wash? Soap bars are now only a small portion of a store's shelf space. And don't get me started on those liberal bastards who are trying to do away with roll-on deodorant. Sticks and glide-ons are taking over. It's an abuse of power!

Liberals DID ruin spray on deodorant! Remember the good old days of CFC powered sprays?

http://www.ecoevaluator.com/environment/air-quality/chlorofluorocarbons-silent-destroyers-of-the-ozone-layer.html

You know, they think the pitchforks are coming out over the economic situation, but I think you've stumbled upon what will ultimately prove to be the real catalyst of the revolution. That, or the future possible eradication of Aqua Net. I can see it now.... A bunch of pissed off men and women with stinky pits and fly-away hair. (I'm scared; hold me.) ;)

turtledove says

(I'm scared; hold me.) ;)

Especially since AquaNet was used by many a child to incinerate bugs, the ramifications of the loss of AquaNet can't be easily quantified. We've taken away their ability to roam neighborhoods with pellet guns, bb guns & .22's - and then we took away their home-made torches.

Scads of future generations of republican children will be forced to attempt the same feat with a magnifying glass, which we all know takes forever to make the ants "pop." The next logical step will be for the libs to make magnifying glasses illegal.

Dodgeball is too violent, elementary school sports have no losing teams so the little fucker's feelings aren't hurt - why, we're raising a generation of pussies.

I blame Obama.

Bitcoins arent the future? says

This is both parties.

and its the biggest loss of all

Amen Brother!

Unions! They used to be about the people.

1)Electric Light

Oh no, energy efficient LED lights. Run for the hills.

2)Soap

What? Do liberals make you use it now?

3)Documentaries with a REAL educational purpose, that educate people on a topic, instead of using it as a ploy to inject a runaway President's rogue agendas.

Um, TED Talks

4)Cars

No idea what you are talking about here. The joy of lead poisoning?

5)The joys, pains and discoveries of Childhood(God forbid a kip points at another Kid, he will be in the liberal national news as the poster child for the NRA.)

Actually, liberals think the leftists are idiots for expelling children for finger banging. In fact, liberals take the side that the kids' rights are being violated by this. Once again, conservatives demonstrate they cannot distinguish between leftists and liberals.

6)The Freedom of political choice, being considered a healthy democracy. (Best not vote for anyone, less you run it by your Liberal friends, neighbors and family and all of the general pain the ass Liberal knowitall's on the internet web forums first.)

What color is the sky in your world?

7)Checking out the Hot women, it will get you fired, and a sexual harassment lawsuit.

Dude, there are 4 billion women in the world. Do you really have to hit on the 100 or so that work in the same office as you? By the way, that's 1970s feminism, not liberalism anyway. But workplace romances are stupid. What happens when you break up and still have to see the other person five days a week?

8)Food better run the next bite of food you put in your mouth by Bloomberg and his fink-bastard cronies first. It might make you fat, but here drink this health shake, it might give you cancer in 20 years, who knows. But at least you're not eating Fat and Sugar.

Americans are obese because they eat shit food, which is largely all that's available due to the food industry acting like drug dealers, doping up the sugar levels to the point where it becomes a drug. But anyway, that's a health issue not a liberal cause.

9)Refreshments, can't even drink a soda with out them being all up in it.

Actually, again you are confusing leftists with liberals. Leftists are a lot like conservatives; they believe in the daddy-knows-best state. It's just that their daddy has different ideas than yours.

10)Education they make a big show to let everyone know just how smart they are, and just how dumb everyone else is. They practically own the Education system in a America. And are turning out the dumbest sons of bitches the world has ever seen since the Neanderthal.

If liberals owned the education system in America, then American history wouldn't be so white washed. You kid would come home traumatized after seeing what slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans was really like.

11)Family Unit in the community. There's more love for a house load of escaped convicts holed up in Ward and June Cleaver house with them in the basement with a bullet in each of their head. Than there is for Ward and June Cleaver.

Wow, your head is like really fucked up. Like bad LSD trip fucked up.

Don't ruin this for me!

This list of things Liberals have ruined.

Don't open doors that you don't want people to walk through.

Wasn't AquaNet the stuff that made teased hair look like frosting on a wedding cake?

Kids used to get high on that stuff and use it as a blow torch.

Liberals ruined AquaNet? Now I am mad, really mad.

Oilwelldoctor says

How about Duty and honor?

How could I have FORGOT!

CaptainShuddup says

Don't ruin this for me!

This list of things Liberals have ruined.

wet dreams, you forgot wet dreams.

Liberals invented those horrible tags you have to keep on your mattresses and pillows under penalty of fines and jail.

they didn't ruin motorcycles!

Ceffer says

Wasn't AquaNet the stuff that made teased hair look like frosting on a wedding cake?

Kids used to get high on that stuff and use it as a blow torch.

Liberals ruined AquaNet? Now I am mad, really mad.

My point exactly. They've outlawed making pipe bombs (we used to make them before Libs ruined them...), kids can no longer play cops & robbers with real guns (we used pellet guns, bb guns and sometimes even .22's), and we can't even use hair spray as blow torches. I'm a little butt hurt over this one.

bob2356 says

wet dreams, you forgot wet dreams.

WHAT?????? Guys can't check us out (#7 on the list, above), so if we can't take pleasure in being ogled then I guess I'm good with ya'll not being able to dream about us. It goes both ways, you know.

Ceffer says

Liberals invented those horrible tags you have to keep on your mattresses and pillows under penalty of fines and jail.

While were at it, why did those fucking Libs invent those tags that make it difficult to shoplift clothing? The ones that squirt ink all over the clothes if they're breached, and trigger alarms if the clothing is stolen...

I've seen the light! That's especially hard to do, considering Libs somehow ruined the electric light.

They ruined murder. Those libtards and their stupid gun control. We're down to less than 9,000 gun murders a year now.

elliemae says

While were at it, why did those fucking Libs invent those tags that make it difficult to shoplift clothing?

OMG!!!!!! But the real plot is when they fuck with you by forgetting to remove the tag. Then, you get home and there it is. This just happened to me last weekend. I bought my daughter a pair of shorts from Old Navy. The shorts were less than $10. She goes to put them on and there's that stupid sensor hanging off the leg. Well, I don't want to drive back out there to have it removed. They should have to give me the shorts for free for my trouble. Liberal bastards!

Incidentally, I have no idea how we got out of the store without setting off the alarm... Not only did those liberal bastards inconvenience me, but the damn thing apparently doesn't even work!

turtledove says

Not only did those liberal bastards inconvenience me, but the damn thing apparently doesn't even work!

Is it just me, or could this be the slogan for Obamacare?

The Original Bankster says

they didn't ruin motorcycles!

Of course they did, but it was british liberals that did that. I can no longer go buy a brand new bike that is unreliable and leaks oil all over the place. This lack of freedom is appalling.

turtledove says

I bought my daughter a pair of shorts from Old Navy. The shorts were less than $10. She goes to put them on and there's that stupid sensor hanging off the leg. Well, I don't want to drive back out there to have it removed.

I know what you mean. Once you get home and realize there's a problem, you don't want to drive all the way back to fix it. Liberal bastards ruin everything.

My "aha" moment was the time I got really stoned and drove thru Burger King, paid for a meal at the first window and then forgot why I was there and drove off.

I got all the way home before I remembered that I had paid for a meal. I couldn't go back because I couldn't remember which BK I had gone to.

I solved that problem by moving to a small town with only one Burger King.

Liberals are hell bent on destroying all the basic freedoms. It's the brick in the wall mentality that took over.

Man can't even say anything that is not considered 100% PC and kisses ass of every single delinquent, loser, race, gender or sexuality. What freedom of speech?

Just about anything that constitution says is a right, liberals today want to ban. And if you don't agree with their mentality, well IRS, NSA, and Child services like a Gestapo agency will come down on you and force you into their line.

Liberals are not liberals today, they've turned into some sort of pro-gay pandering offshoot of the Nazi party.

FortWayne says

liberals today want to ban...

Everything but Freaks, Geeks and Weirdos.

CaptainShuddup says

FortWayne says

liberals today want to ban...

Everything but Freaks, Geeks and Weirdos.

Well at least you are perfectly safe.

FortWayne says

Liberals are hell bent on destroying all the basic freedoms. It's the brick in the wall mentality that took over.

Man can't even say anything that is not considered 100% PC and kisses ass of every single delinquent, loser, race, gender or sexuality. What freedom of speech?

Just about anything that constitution says is a right, liberals today want to ban. And if you don't agree with their mentality, well IRS, NSA, and Child services like a Gestapo agency will come down on you and force you into their line.

Liberals are not liberals today, they've turned into some sort of pro-gay pandering offshoot of the Nazi party.

This is some liberal playing a character. But it's not believable. NObody thinks like this. The real conservative dimbuls like zzyzzX and captain dimbulb, have views that are based on emotion or what their parents believed and are totally about "my team against yours."

But a least they have the sense to know that they can never articulate an actual argument explaining why their point of view makes sense. They know that such arguments don't exist. so they spew their emotion. But Fort Wayve isn't even smart enough to know that what he says is nonsense (or as I say - he's a made up character).

In the captains version, he gets creative, and thingks its amusing the way he obfuscates his point in what he hopes will pass for creativity.

But Fort Wayne ?

That guy is just ourt to lunch. Extreme whacko assertions that would ebarrass any self respecting conservative. Not a one would want to be associated with such idiocy.

So yeah. He's not real.

FortWayne says

Just about anything that constitution says is a right, liberals today want to ban.

CaptainShuddup says

This list of things Liberals have ruined.

THe funny thing is, we don't have hardly any liberals in government today. Who is there ? Bernie Sanders ? Who else ? Kucinich is gone.

WE have a republican party controlled by far right lunatics that are so far right that they scare even your old school business conservatives. And we have a far more sane democratic party (ie far more sane than today's republicans) that is on average about as liberal as the average republican was 40 years ago.

I've never heard any republican question that last fact. They think it's just fine and dandy.

MEanwhile the right wing media machine are doing a very dangerous job of misinforming and programming wide swaths of the below average intelligence white folk in this country, who are scared because of their decreasing financial strength and because of changing demographics that are making this country less and less white as time goes on.

It's very easy for savvy scumbags in the right wing media to push the buttons of these people.

Liberals didn't give us educational documentaries, but they did motivate the launching of a vast right wing media complex that even profits while it programs the dimbulbs in this country to not believe the truth when the truth interferes with the profit potential of large monied groups such as the fossil fuel wing of the energy sector.

Liberals didn't give us homosexuality, but they took them out of the closet, which pisses many of us off. Now when Fort Wayne taps his foot in the airport men's room, nobody answers.

Liberals didn't give us our more reliable cars, but they did give us those silly baby seats and efficiency standards.

Liberals didn't give us computers or smart phones, but apparently they did us facebook and twitter.

marcus says

THe funny thing is, we don't have hardly any liberals in government today. Who is there ? Bernie Sanders ? Who else ? Kucinich is gone.

You mean you chased them off, trying to make GREAT television for the 2008 Primaries, so GREATER Men and Women were tossed aside by their own party because the networks demanded a Black man and an ex-First Lady to go up against the Geezer and his Bitch.

Can you blame Kucinich if he became a Republican?

Wtf ? Still celebrating the 4th I see.

CaptainShuddup says

Unions! They used to be about the people.

Now they are about whatever the right wing media tells you they are about.

Newsflash: The owners never liked unions.

Guess what changed ? WE no longer have the fairness doctrine, and the owners have a much louder voice, that is especially noticed by the millions of idiots that just loooove Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Fox news and talk radio.

marcus says

I've never heard any republican question that last fact. They think it's just fine and dandy.

That's just plain wrong. There's nothing "fine and dandy" about it. Many are feeling quite left out in the cold. I feel that the party has been hijacked a religious right that actually represents only a small, but vocal, minority. As a result, being conservative is fast becoming a dirty word. The good aspects of conservatism are being drowned out by these loons.

We already have a STRONG union, it's called the Federal Government and Labor laws, both of which modern Unions marginalize the authority of, so that they will stay relevant.

In this day and age, there shouldn't be ANY Union gripe and grievance that our Department of Labor shouldn't be willing and capable of handling.

CaptainShuddup says

Unions! They used to be about the people.

Maybe what you mean is that a lot of workers used to be represented by unions, so they were equated with the people, the majority.

But now after 45 plus years of killing unions off, all that's left is unions for some public sector workers, and a tiny fraction of the private sector. So yeah. If they aren't helping the majority. If they aren't helping me direcltly, Fuck'em. That's consistant with the key tenet of the repulbican party, "I've got mine, fuck you."

CaptainShuddup says

In this day and age, there shouldn't be ANY Union gripe and grievance that our Department of Labor shouldn't be willing and capable of handling.

You've never heard of collective bargaining ?

turtledove says

That's just plain wrong. There's nothing "fine and dandy" about it. Many are feeling quite left out in the cold.

That's because you're one of the intelligent conservatives. What are you doing on here? Just kidding.

I was referring to the fact that democrats today are on average about as liberal as the average republican was in say 1978.

I've never heard anyone here question that. Republicans think that's just great. But then they turn around and talk about how terrible the liberals are? It makes no sense.

Someone has convinced them that our politics need to swing further to the right ? And they'll use things like the fact that the majority of people don't give a fuck about the sexuality of others as evidence that our politics are too liberal, while our politics have been trending to the right for decades.

It's scary really, if you stop and think about it.

Liberals did 9/11 and broke up the Beatles. On hot days they took all the parking spots in the shade and in December they tangled your Christmas lights. They don't care how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. They'll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. They'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is liberals hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home they'll run you over with their fucking Prius out of no where and kill you.

Fucking liberals.

marcus says

I was referring to the fact that democrats today are on average about as liberal as the average republican was in say 1978.

I've never heard anyone here question that. Republicans think that's just great. But then they turn around and talk about how terrible the liberals are? It makes no sense.

That's because THIS isn't 1978.

marcus says

You've never heard of collective bargaining ?

Collusion and Price fixing, sure I have. It's Unconstitutional.

If you don't like the wage, then don't work. BUT our government shouldn't sit idly by while immigrants are bused in to take those jobs either. Don't like the wages then STRIKE!!!

But do you really need to belong to an organization that has more lawyers than custodians, that you pay a fees to every month. SO they can meet with bureaucrats in Sunday closed door meetings deciding your fate, and hijacking the authority of YOUR plight?

MOST CERTAINLY NOT!!!!