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Men are not marrying, why?


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2018 Oct 25, 2:34pm   17,291 views  190 comments

by Shaman   ➕follow (4)   💰tip   ignore  

So I was browsing YouTube and found this lady’s video. After five minutes or so or so-so content, it started to get interesting. She was talking about how men derive their identity and self respect from what they do, as opposed to women who derive it by what they are. When a man is free to compete and work with other men with men’s rules, work becomes meaningful. When women infiltrate and worse, demand changes to the culture of such a workplace, men lose meaning in their work, and might even come to regard it as an ongoing daily humiliation. Not to mention the whole thing with men and women where a man can have his self-defined role as father or husband taken away for no reason by a capricious wife, we begin to see marriage as a bear trap.
Watch the video if you’re interested in these issues. I’m interested to see what @Rin thinks as well.

www.youtube.com/embed/rlvMAS_20K4

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22   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 9:18am  

Quigley says
Evan F. says
I find it hilarious when fundie Reps whinge about the deterioration of the 'traditional' nuclear family and then follow it up with this:


So let me get you on the record here:
1. “Diversity is great! Everyone is different! You can’t judge a person by his appearance!”
2. Everyone who disagrees with me on anything is exactly the same and probably a disgusting white male fundamentalist Christian!

Interesting points!

Nice jump in logic there! But no. I don't give two shits if you're married or not. Have all sorts of kids with different partners. But so many people here seem to think the traditional man+woman family is the bedrock of civilization and then run on about how big of a player they are, and how marriage is for chumps, it's hilarious and kind of sad.

I've been happily married for 15 years, in one of those 'traditional' unions. You guys should be applauding me, I'm one of the guys propping up our collapsing society!
23   Strategist   2018 Dec 30, 10:00am  

Quigley says
Men are not marrying, why?


Rin was always right. Why fuck a wife when it's cheaper to fuck a whore.
24   mell   2018 Dec 30, 11:03am  

Evan F. says
Quigley says
Evan F. says
I find it hilarious when fundie Reps whinge about the deterioration of the 'traditional' nuclear family and then follow it up with this:


So let me get you on the record here:
1. “Diversity is great! Everyone is different! You can’t judge a person by his appearance!”
2. Everyone who disagrees with me on anything is exactly the same and probably a disgusting white male fundamentalist Christian!

Interesting points!

Nice jump in logic there! But no. I don't give two shits if you're married or not. Have all sorts of kids with different partners. But so many people here seem to think the traditional man+woman family is the bedrock of civilization and then run on about how big of a player they are, and how marriage is for chumps, it's hilarious and kind of sad.


I agree that the goal should be finding a traditional wife and have a life long union and kids. But since there are very few out there making good wives and mothers the players are just a symptom. Currently there is an big overhang of good guys vs good womyn so some will naturally resort to playing.
25   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:07am  

mell says
I agree that the goal should be finding a traditional wife and have a life long union and kids. But since there are very few out there making good wives and mothers the players are just a symptom. Currently there is an big overhang of good guys vs good womyn so some will naturally resort to playing.

Yes, it's always the woman's fault. There's never any quality women out there! I'm a perfect guy, I'm a total catch, the ladies should be bending over backwards to be my slave.

Said every single loser on this site.
26   mell   2018 Dec 30, 11:14am  

Evan F. says
mell says
I agree that the goal should be finding a traditional wife and have a life long union and kids. But since there are very few out there making good wives and mothers the players are just a symptom. Currently there is an big overhang of good guys vs good womyn so some will naturally resort to playing.

Yes, it's always the woman's fault. There's never any quality women out there! I'm a perfect guy, I'm a total catch, the ladies should be bending over backwards to be my slave.

Said every single loser on this site.


It's easy to cast people as losers but the statistics are backing my assertion. Men are dragging their feet while 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women. Plus I know many that claim to be happily married when in fact they are being cucked by a less than desirable woman. Especially in the bay area where hotties are pretty rare. Some are being bossed around so.badly that I'd rather see them free as much as I root for the family. I am suspicious of people who claim to have the perfect wives esp. here as the general hostility towards men rubs off even on the most traditional unicorn hottie. Your environment influences you and I have always told struggling buddies to move the fuck out of such a misandristic area.
27   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 11:20am  

Evan F. says
Is this speaking from experience?


No
28   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 11:20am  

Evan F. says
I find it hilarious when fundie Reps whinge about the deterioration of the 'traditional' nuclear family and then follow it up with this:


Who you calling Rep dicknose?
29   MrMagic   2018 Dec 30, 11:25am  

Evan F. says
I've been happily married for 15 years, in one of those 'traditional' unions. You guys should be applauding me, I'm one of the guys propping up our collapsing society!


Oh man, what a youngster and still wet behind the ears. Call us when you have some really experience. I'm on 38 years....
30   mell   2018 Dec 30, 11:27am  

just_dregalicious says
I'm 46 and still pull early 30s hotties. Much younger than that and I find them boring and annoying usually. Strike that. I find them boring and annoying immediately rather than after a while.


I did too before getting married. Good strategy. A 30s who kept young is better than a 20s. For marrying 25-35 depending on looks and health is a good age for her.
31   MrMagic   2018 Dec 30, 11:31am  

Evan F. says
Yes, it's always the woman's fault. There's never any quality women out there! I'm a perfect guy, I'm a total catch, the ladies should be bending over backwards to be my slave.

Said every single loser on this site.


Ha.... that was a good one.

mell says
It's easy to cast people as losers but the statistics are backing my assertion. Men are dragging their feet while 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women. Plus I know many that claim to be happily married when in fact they are being cucked by a less than desirable woman.


I'll tell you why that's happening. In EVERY instant that I've seen divorces, the guy went into the relationship thinking with the wrong head (the lower one). Getting married based on a PHYSICAL attraction very rarely works out. It's the COMPLETE package that makes the difference.

mell says
I am suspicious of people who claim to have the perfect wives esp. here as the general hostility towards men rubs off even on the most traditional unicorn hottie.


I'll never claim to have the perfect wife, but after 38 years, it's the best it's ever been. That's not to say it hasn't been extremely hard work, some big battles, and other crap. But the key is to work through all that stuff, and come out the other end, with the bandages. What I see in many cases are the couples not willing to work it out, and instead, take the easier route, and just bail through divorce. That's typical with how people handle every other issue in their lives, bail out instead of fix.
32   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:32am  

MrMagic says
I'm on 38 years....

Congrats, man! That's awesome.

mell says
It's easy to cast people as losers but the statistics are backing my assertion. Men are dragging their feet while 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women.


It's easy to cast people as losers, when, in fact, they are losers. Our man Trump does it all the time! And if 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women, what does that say about the men they're attached to?

just_dregalicious says
Evan F. says
Is this speaking from experience?


No

Then why would you say something like 'I recommend having a kid out of wedlock'?
33   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:33am  

MrMagic says
mell says
I am suspicious of people who claim to have the perfect wives esp. here as the general hostility towards men rubs off even on the most traditional unicorn hottie.


I'll never claim to have the perfect wife, but after 38 years, it's the best it's ever been. That's not to say it hasn't been extremely hard work, some big battles, and other crap. But the key is to work through all that stuff, and come out the other end, with the bandages. What I see in many cases are the couples not willing to work it out, and instead, take the easier route, and just bail through divorce. That's typical with how people handle every other issue in their lives, bail out instead of fix.

Well put.
34   MrMagic   2018 Dec 30, 11:34am  

Evan F. says
mell says
It's easy to cast people as losers but the statistics are backing my assertion. Men are dragging their feet while 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women.


It's easy to cast people as losers, when, in fact, they are losers. Our man Trump does it all the time! And if 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women, what does that say about the men they're attached to?


The women make bad choices too, like in the case of picking the "bad boy" for the fun of it, only to find out he really was a loser, after all.
35   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 11:36am  

Evan F. says
Then why would you say something like 'I recommend having a kid out of wedlock'?


Because I do recommend it for those who want kids. The costs out weigh the benefits these days.
36   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:36am  

just_dregalicious says
Because I do recommend it for those who want kids. No costs out weigh the benefits these days.

So do you have kids?
37   mell   2018 Dec 30, 11:38am  

MrMagic says
Evan F. says
Yes, it's always the woman's fault. There's never any quality women out there! I'm a perfect guy, I'm a total catch, the ladies should be bending over backwards to be my slave.

Said every single loser on this site.


Ha.... that was a good one.

mell says
It's easy to cast people as losers but the statistics are backing my assertion. Men are dragging their feet while 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women. Plus I know many that claim to be happily married when in fact they are being cucked by a less than desirable woman.


I'll tell you why that's happening. In EVERY instant that I've seen divorces, the guy went into the relationship thinking with the wrong head (the lower one). Getting married based on a PHYSICAL attraction very rarely works out. It's the COMPLETE package that makes...


Agreed.

Evan F. says
MrMagic says
I'm on 38 years....

Congrats, man! That's awesome.

mell says
It's easy to cast people as losers but the statistics are backing my assertion. Men are dragging their feet while 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women.


It's easy to cast people as losers, when, in fact, they are losers. Our man Trump does it all the time! And if 3/4 of divorces are initiated by women, what does that say about the men they're attached to?

just_dregalicious says
Evan F. says
Is this speaking from experience?


No

Then why would you say something like 'I recommend having a kid out of wedlock'?


No it means that the majority of women initiating those divorces were unfit for marriage and got baited by the advantageous divorce laws. Did guys make bad choices with them? Sure but if you bail out of a marriage thr problem is you in 80+% of cases. The pareto principle always holds.
38   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:38am  

MrMagic says
The women make bad choices too, like in the case of picking the "bad boy" for the fun of it, only to find out he really was a loser, after all.

Absolutely. But there's so much of the notion that 'women are all a bunch of useless bitches' going around here it's comical.

Two way street.
39   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 11:39am  

Evan F. says
So do you have kids?


No, I already answered that.
40   mell   2018 Dec 30, 11:39am  

Evan F. says
MrMagic says
The women make bad choices too, like in the case of picking the "bad boy" for the fun of it, only to find out he really was a loser, after all.

Absolutely. But there's so much of the notion that 'women are all a bunch of useless bitches' going around here it's comical.

Two way street.


The statistics are clear. Not all but many. Subjecting your kids to single motherhood is piss poor parenting.
41   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:40am  

mell says
No it means that the majority of women initiating those divorces were unfit for marriage and got baited by the advantageous divorce laws.

Says who. Says you? Can you say with certainty that that's what why majority of those women are initiating divorces?
42   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:41am  

just_dregalicious says
Evan F. says
So do you have kids?


No, I already answered that.

Then why in the Christ would anyone take anything you say about child rearing and/or marriage seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?
43   mell   2018 Dec 30, 11:42am  

Evan F. says
mell says
No it means that the majority of women initiating those divorces were unfit for marriage and got baited by the advantageous divorce laws.

Says who. Says you? Can you say with certainty that that's what why majority of those women are initiating divorces?


Abuse by the husband is relatively rare. Give it 10% which is generous so yeah the rest are unfit. Why else would you break a sworn lifelong bond and potentially wreck kids.
44   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:44am  

mell says
Abuse by the husband is relatively rare. Give it 10% which is generous so yeah the rest are unfit. Why else would you break a sworn lifelong bond and potentially wreck kids.

This is 100% speculation. There are a million reasons to initiate a divorce. Are some gaming the divorce laws? Sure. Are there other possible reasons? Yep.
45   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 11:44am  

Evan F. says
Then why in the Christ would anyone take anything you say about child rearing and/or marriage seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?


I don't care what you think. No, I'm not kidding you.
46   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 11:48am  

mell says
Plus I know many that claim to be happily married when in fact they are being cucked by a less than desirable woman. Especially in the bay area where hotties are pretty rare. Some are being bossed around so.badly that I'd rather see them free as much as I root for the family.


This.

I can't count how many times I've heard married guys I work with wish they were in my shoes. Complain about the slavery they're in. Seems like it's near 90% and those are the ones who aren't even raped in divorce court yet.
47   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 11:49am  

just_dregalicious says
I don't care what you think. No, I'm not kidding you.


You posted it on this site, so it's fair game for criticism. And news flash: it's retarded advice. You don't know what you're talking about, you've never had kids, you're apparently not married because you're still bedding '30's hotties', whatever that means.

I'm sorry I hurt your feewings! But yeah, keep dropping those pearls of wisdom about having kids out of wedlock, especially for the dudes.
48   MrMagic   2018 Dec 30, 11:52am  

just_dregalicious says
I can't count how many times I've heard married guys I work with wish they were in my shoes. Complain about the slavery they're in.


Sounds like they have the pussy in the relationship. Why don't they take off their skirts, get their balls back, and take control of their situation. It's easy to blame the wife when they have no balls. Do they act that same way at work, let others boss them around and not take responsibility and step up?
49   clambo   2018 Dec 30, 12:00pm  

Marriage is simply not the natural arrangement between males and females. The present legal arrangement violates mans nature.

Today the male is severely punished for having a sexual partner in addition to the aging, enlarging, and controlling one he is married to.

Men who are older can still attract younger females, but the converse is not true; older females generally can not attract males of any age.

Having someone to have conversations with, spend time with, go out to eat with, etc. doesn't require marriage. I do these with my widow neighbor.

As far as sexual relations go, I have younger ones for this activity. Everyone likes the arrangement as far as I can tell.
50   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 12:02pm  

MrMagic says
Sounds like they have the pussy in the relationship. Why don't they take off their skirts, get their balls back, and take control of their situation. It's easy to blame the wife when they have no balls. Do they act that same way at work, let others boss them around and not take responsibility and step up?


Typical biotech dudes in California. Both Norcal and Socal. Mostly feel powerless due to family law.
51   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 12:04pm  

Evan F. says
You posted it on this site, so it's fair game for criticism. And news flash: it's retarded advice. You don't know what you're talking about, you've never had kids, you're apparently not married because you're still bedding '30's hotties', whatever that means.

I'm sorry I hurt your feewings! But yeah, keep dropping those pearls of wisdom about having kids out of wedlock, especially for the dudes.


Critique all you like. You're delusional though if you think I give a shit about what you think. Marriage is a construct, people have raised kids for hundreds of thousands of years without it. I've got great family and it worked well for them. These days though you're marrying the government. Fuck that.
52   MrMagic   2018 Dec 30, 12:06pm  

clambo says
Marriage is simply not the natural arrangement between males and females. The present legal arrangement violates mans nature.


Official marriage is only just a piece of paper. Stop getting hung up. Its more about the committment, through thick and thin that determines the relationship. Guys who can't make that committment, or have shitty skills at picking good mates, are the ones not getting married.

Blaming a piece of paper for entrapment is a cop out and shows a failed loser. I'm sure that carries over to other parts of his life too.

clambo says
As far as sexual relations go, I have younger ones for this activity. Everyone likes the arrangement as far as I can tell.


Maybe you need to expand your social circle, after all, you are who you associate with.
53   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 12:20pm  

MrMagic says
I'm on 38 years....


Things were different when you were young. My parents are on 47 and I am quite certain if my dad was in his 20s and got married right now he'd last about a year. Family law in the west is fucked (THANK YOU BOOMERS) and even worse in the UK. I wouldn't even date a single mom in the NW US. Judges are sticking guys with child support for kids that aren't even their kid in that area.

I'm not sure how many out of wedlock kids there are running around these days but I'd guess it's over 50%. (If you include divorce) Daddy is now, "The state", and you serve only at the pleasure of your wife.
54   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 12:24pm  

just_dregalicious says
Critique all you like. You're delusional though if you think I give a shit about what you think.

And yet you keep responding to my posts. Clearly evidence that your don't care what I think!
55   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 12:26pm  

Evan F. says
And yet you keep responding to my posts. Clearly evidence that your don't care what I think!


You're so gay with your, "I know you are but what am I", type posts. That's what I think.
56   Evan F.   2018 Dec 30, 12:28pm  

just_dregalicious says
You're so gay with your, "I know you are but what am I", type posts. That's what I think.

57   porkchopXpress   2018 Dec 30, 12:34pm  

clambo says
Marriage is simply not the natural arrangement between males and females. The present legal arrangement violates mans nature.

Today the male is severely punished for having a sexual partner in addition to the aging, enlarging, and controlling one he is married to.

Men who are older can still attract younger females, but the converse is not true; older females generally can not attract males of any age.

Having someone to have conversations with, spend time with, go out to eat with, etc. doesn't require marriage. I do these with my widow neighbor.

As far as sexual relations go, I have younger ones for this activity. Everyone likes the arrangement as far as I can tell.
I agree with much of what you're saying, but there is one thing that LTRs or marriage give you if done right...love. I don't mean to sound sappy, but superficial relationships with many women (albeit hella fun) wouldn't cut it for me especially as I grow old, which I'm not yet. There's something unique and special about being with someone for decades, sharing memories and a family together, making it through the ups and downs, etc. If you've never tasted that, I understand why you'd go the route you choose. But for me, it's priceless.
58   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 12:43pm  

porkchopexpress says
wouldn't cut it for me especially as I grow old, which I'm not yet.


How old were you when you married? As I mentioned above I think if you marry somewhat young there are great opportunities. I come from a huge family with great marriages. I had health problems in my 20s and early 30s and worked my ass off to pay for and solve them as well as to climb out of poverty. Didn't spend those years looking to get married. Not a multi-millionaire yet but soon will be. No way I'm fucking that up now with what's leftover in the culture we live in now though.
59   porkchopXpress   2018 Dec 30, 12:45pm  

just_dregalicious says
porkchopexpress says
wouldn't cut it for me especially as I grow old, which I'm not yet.


How old were you when you married?
I was young...23. I certainly understand the risks you'd be taking by getting married, which I wouldn't do if I waited later in life for the reasons you cite, unless I was 100% sure. The laws are far too discriminatory against men and breadwinners.
60   just_passing_through   2018 Dec 30, 12:47pm  

Economists are calling the, "Men not wanting to marry", phenomenon we're currently in which is greater than the old-fashioned, "commitment-phobe", situation a "rational economic decision".
61   HeadSet   2018 Dec 30, 12:56pm  

In my opinion, it really does take 2 parents to raise children. I do not think a single parent working full time leaves enough time for nurture. This is true whether the man or woman is the "house spouse" in the child's formative years, or whether the couple is gay or lesbian. That being said, I think the only real reason to get married is to raise kids, and if you do plan to raise kids, you really should get married to someone like minded in this most important job. Yes, today's environment makes divorce too easy, with the breadwinner at risk for serious loss. But I see a way to deal with that, based on the successful marriages I know. Here is what I would tell any 18 year old kid today:

Don' t get married too young. Party and get it out of your system in your 20s and early 30s. If you are 37 year old guy and marry a 31 year old girl, your are marrying a girl who knows that a fantasy Brad Pitt type is not out there waiting for her, and she has enough career experience to know if that job is more important than the bio-clock. I know several guys who married young and then had the wife dump them during their late 20s, the reason was always something similar to "you stole my youth" and then the girl ran off with some more exciting type.

Date within your socio-economic group. Increases you chances of falling for a girl as rich as you are, who would have much less to gain in a divorce.

I know that lots of elderly people (like George and Barbara Bush) have had long marriages despite marrying extremely young and with the man usually richer, but that was in a much different environment.

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