patrick.net

https://babylonbee.com/news/gollum-hired-as-spokesperson-to-promote-social-distancing-guidelines

U.S.—Health experts in the U.S. have been encountering resistance in the population as many people don't want to stop living their lives due to the virus. So, they've been searching for spokespeople to point toward in hopes that Americans will finally listen to their expert advice. Finally, they located one creature they believe is a "model citizen" and "the very picture of health": Gollum, a Stoor Hobbit who lived in total isolation for 471 years.

"If Americans would just act more like Gollum, locking themselves away from sunlight and fresh air for five centuries, we would be able to beat this pandemic," said one health expert, Dr. Bob Lindelhooven. "Instead, we have people throwing massive 111th birthday parties and not even caring about what we have to say."

https://babylonbee.com/news/hero-obama-holds-superspreader-event-on-climate-change-endangered-property-to-show-people-what-not-to-do

https://babylonbee.com/news/cute-thing-kid-supposedly-said-just-so-happens-to-line-up-exactly-with-parents-political-views

https://reclaimthenet.org/mmas-darren-till-refuses-to-be-canceled-after-being-reported-to-uk-police-over-meme/

In typical fashion these days, especially in the United Kingdom where the public are increasingly being threatened with losing any remaining semblance of free speech rights, Merseyside Police received a report of the post and stated that “enquiries are ongoing.”

However, Till was not least bit concerned about the complaints.

He took to social media to reveal that he did not regret the “offensive” Instagram post. He tweeted: “The post got 100k likes… it was a successful day of posting on Instagram I would say… I’ve got a belter post this weekend for u, even more offensive. turn post notifications on!!!!”

“You can’t cancel someone who doesn’t give a crap,” he went on to say.

We should all spread this very true and effective meme.

"A little Khazarian sexual enthusiasm never hurt anybody." Jeffrey Epstein

Amazing that got past the censors.

Ceffer says

https://babylonbee.com/news/bidensays-new-lockdown-will-only-last-for-one-month-or-until-the-end-of-the-us-whichever-is-sooner

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Many Americans are frightened of the Biden administration’s talk about a new lockdown, as they’re still reeling from the economic effects of the previous lockdowns, but President Biden is assuring people that this one will be quite temporary.

“This lockdown will only last one month or until the total collapse of our country,” Biden told the press, “whichever is sooner.”

According to Biden, this new lockdown could last up to thirty days but most likely would end even sooner than that when, due to further economic and political pressures, the federal government completely collapses and the country is taken over by QAnon warlords. In that situation, the lockdown would also not be enforced and would be officially over.

“For this lockdown, I’m just asking you to hold out a little longer,” Biden said, “just until I’ve completely lost all my power and anarchists storm the White House and imprison me in the White House kitchen walk-in refrigerator. Or for one month. But no longer than that.”

Though the lockdown will be over in one month or at the destruction of the United States of America, many think it will still be wise to socially distance by locking oneself in a bomb shelter after that.

Lol good one. Need to plaster social media spaces (facefuck, twatter etc.) with this!

Patrick says

Bd6r says

provided that they do not go around proselytizing their lifestyle

That is exactly my problem with them.

Especially when they promote it to children, or molest them.

That’s what’s been driving anger in me lately. It’s in schools now, so we took ours out.

I think you did the right thing.

BTW, the whole Catholic School system exists exactly because Catholic parents in the late 1800's did not want their kids subject to government education.

https://thegloriousamerican.com/health/why-didnt-i-get-the-vaccine-cried-35-year-old-man-while-being-eaten-by-shark-in-kansas-cornfield/

mell says

That’s what’s been driving anger in me lately. It’s in schools now, so we took ours out.

I would like to suggest Kahn Academy:

https://www.khanacademy.org/

I also suggest you follow the coursework. As an adult, you can go through it much more quickly as you're just reviewing, but I think you'll find new things to learn. Part of the reason to make the internet, was to entirely democratize information and education.

Also, and I'm serious - get rid of your television. It's entirely a waste of time. The man that invented television, Philo Farnsworth, would not allow the device to be in his home. His aim was to create a machine that allowed education and culture into every home cheaply and was bitterly disappointed that it was just mindless entertainment - and this was his opinion in the 1950's. It's much worse today.

https://babylonbee.com/news/thomas-massie-found-to-have-connection-to-far-right-extremist-group-the-founding-fathers

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Representative Thomas Massie is under investigation after it was discovered that he has been heavily influenced by a far-right extremist group, the Founding Fathers of the United States of America.

Investigators raided Massie's office and found extremist material, such as the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, along with fringe content like the Federalist Papers. Massie is being held on suspicion of far-right domestic extremism. It's not clear that's illegal, but Nancy Pelosi said they are detaining him just in case.

"We found lots of reading material in his office written by these far-right extremists known as the 'founders of our nation,'" said Pelosi. "It seems he is reading this stuff and getting crazy ideas in his head about liberty and the government needing the consent of the governed. It's really dangerous stuff."

"This is America, and ideas about personal responsibility and making your own choices have no place here," she added sternly.

At publishing time, Massie had made a daring escape from captivity by climbing out the Capitol window on tied-together bed sheets and is currently at large plotting to cross the Delaware and surprise Biden's armies stationed in Trenton.

Patrick says

https://babylonbee.com/news/hero-obama-holds-superspreader-event-on-climate-change-endangered-property-to-show-people-what-not-to-do

But then:

https://notthebee.com/article/sad-obama-cancelled-his-lavish-60th-b-day-party-after-the-woke-mob-criticized-him-over-worries-of-the-delta-variant



I'm sure he'll just have it anyway, and no masks, but without the press knowing about it.

That's a good summary of our dystopian nightmare. All very 1984.

https://thegloriousamerican.com/mediatech/facebook-meme-leaves-32-dead-115-wounded-7-25-21/

https://thegloriousamerican.com/health/judge-rules-piles-of-street-poop-will-count-as-votes-for-gavin-newsom-7-14-21/

https://thegloriousamerican.com/law/new-york-murder-rate-sharply-plummets-after-guy-who-tabulates-all-the-homicides-is-shot/