Political Humor Thread
invite response
2019 Feb 17, 4:30pm 2,670,950 views 38,222 comments
by Patrick ➕follow (59) 💰tip ignore
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25447
zzyzzx
2023 Jun 12, 10:46am
zzyzzx
2023 Jun 12, 10:46am
Unvaccinated folx think they had it bad with how they were allegedly treated, but did you SEE the brutal assault and vile harassment America's sweetheart Brittney Griner just went through at the airport?? Xey were literally shaking, it was ten times worse than xer stay in Russia!!
Like every other self-respecting, Democracy-loving American, I like to show my support for my great (yet extremely flawed, problematic and systemically racist) country by squatting at home in my not-at-all cramped climate-friendly eco-pod and cracking open a Bud Light that I bought from Target whilst watching the WNBA; by far our Nation's most popular sporting event, drawing dozens of viewers per month!!
So, naturally, I was aghast to see that one of the WNBA's best players and Ukraine's most valuable ally Brittney Griner had been LITERALLY assaulted and violently harassed by an alt-right provocateur at the airport. Thankfully, before further damage could be done, the team's neck-bearded, beta cuck of a security guard bravely swarmed in, gently defusing the situation without resorting to getting physical with the racist Qanoner, who was literally foaming at the mouth with COVID.
All of this just mere months after Biden made what many Experts consider to be the greatest trade of all time to save Griner from her imprisonment in Russia in exchange for allowing the Merchant of Death walk free. The deal was a no-brainer as far as I'm concerned, and will prove crucial in turning the tide of war in Ukraine's favour. Everyone knows women's basketball is extremely important for morale during a time of war, and a patriotic ballplayer like Griner is a great asset and could draw in viewer(s), whereas arms dealers are a dime a dozen. In fact, the entire Russia-Ukraine conflict may have to be resolved via a Space Jam, with Griner and the Looney Tunes facing off against Putin's forces on the basketball court.
This assault on Griner and Our Democracy will go down in infamy. The World literally stood still. It is worse than 9/11 and Pearl Harbor. The only thing that comes close is Jan 6th. This frightening brush with the peasantry has led many to call for tighter security and bigger, faster private jets (folx are hard at work painting flames on the side of their aircrafts as we speak!) for the WNBA. More over, it has led to almost all remaining unvaccinated folx (there aren't many left after two Winters of severe illness and death) to re-evaluate their earlier cries of "harassment".
Cletus Cousinfuck XII had this to say on behalf of all unvaccinated folx: "we done got it wrong, consarn it! I done read on Facebook that being harassed meant getting vilified non-stop in the media, threatened with losing your job or being segregated from the rest of society for refusing a 5G microchip, h'yuck. But what that brave and obvious woman just went through put it all in perspective, y'all. I'm off to git vaccinated against COVID - and I hope y'all do too!"
Like every other self-respecting, Democracy-loving American, I like to show my support for my great (yet extremely flawed, problematic and systemically racist) country by squatting at home in my not-at-all cramped climate-friendly eco-pod and cracking open a Bud Light that I bought from Target whilst watching the WNBA; by far our Nation's most popular sporting event, drawing dozens of viewers per month!!
So, naturally, I was aghast to see that one of the WNBA's best players and Ukraine's most valuable ally Brittney Griner had been LITERALLY assaulted and violently harassed by an alt-right provocateur at the airport. Thankfully, before further damage could be done, the team's neck-bearded, beta cuck of a security guard bravely swarmed in, gently defusing the situation without resorting to getting physical with the racist Qanoner, who was literally foaming at the mouth with COVID.
All of this just mere months after Biden made what many Experts consider to be the greatest trade of all time to save Griner from her imprisonment in Russia in exchange for allowing the Merchant of Death walk free. The deal was a no-brainer as far as I'm concerned, and will prove crucial in turning the tide of war in Ukraine's favour. Everyone knows women's basketball is extremely important for morale during a time of war, and a patriotic ballplayer like Griner is a great asset and could draw in viewer(s), whereas arms dealers are a dime a dozen. In fact, the entire Russia-Ukraine conflict may have to be resolved via a Space Jam, with Griner and the Looney Tunes facing off against Putin's forces on the basketball court.
This assault on Griner and Our Democracy will go down in infamy. The World literally stood still. It is worse than 9/11 and Pearl Harbor. The only thing that comes close is Jan 6th. This frightening brush with the peasantry has led many to call for tighter security and bigger, faster private jets (folx are hard at work painting flames on the side of their aircrafts as we speak!) for the WNBA. More over, it has led to almost all remaining unvaccinated folx (there aren't many left after two Winters of severe illness and death) to re-evaluate their earlier cries of "harassment".
Cletus Cousinfuck XII had this to say on behalf of all unvaccinated folx: "we done got it wrong, consarn it! I done read on Facebook that being harassed meant getting vilified non-stop in the media, threatened with losing your job or being segregated from the rest of society for refusing a 5G microchip, h'yuck. But what that brave and obvious woman just went through put it all in perspective, y'all. I'm off to git vaccinated against COVID - and I hope y'all do too!"
25475
Ceffer
2023 Jun 13, 10:24pm
Ceffer
2023 Jun 13, 10:24pm
HMM. When is he going to declare buttfucking and drinking children's blood sacraments?
https://twitter.com/settings
https://twitter.com/settings
25482
Ceffer
2023 Jun 14, 1:41am
Ceffer
2023 Jun 14, 1:41am
The neo twins: the neocons and the neolibs. Eugenics and One World Order.
https://www.thelastamericanvagabond.com/british-hand-russiagate-exposed/
https://www.thelastamericanvagabond.com/british-hand-russiagate-exposed/
25483
AmericanKulak
2023 Jun 14, 6:41am
AmericanKulak
2023 Jun 14, 6:41am
That's why I'm an all natural boobs guy. If they don't flop, something else might flop.
25485
HeadSet
2023 Jun 14, 2:14pm
HeadSet
2023 Jun 14, 2:14pm
Ceffer says
They don't. No snip needed. Remember Lia Thomas is a champion swimmer with full manhood intact.
They don't. No snip needed. Remember Lia Thomas is a champion swimmer with full manhood intact.
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